The name is SCARFMAN and as Leader of the SCARF PARTY I’m constantly being asked, ‘hey Scarfy, why do you want to be the first SCARF Prime Minister of the United Kingdom? I say, ‘why that’s simple scarf fans, I hate HATMAN(I have balding issues so rely on them too much nowadays) and can’t stand cocky CRAVATMAN….as well as wanting to improve the lives of SCARVES up and down this great nation of ours of course!
ONLY IF YOU VOTE FOR THE SCARF PARTY on June 8th, will scarves finally be able to alleviate themselves above hats, cravats AND SMELLY HANDKERCHIEFS! No longer will they just feel like washed up pieces of cotton stuck at the bottom of your wardrobes, your vote will give them personality and freedom to breathe.
Here is a list of my promises if we gain power, in this FIRST EVER FULLY COSTED Scarf Party manifesto!
- I promise that every citizen in the UK will own AT LEAST FIVE SCARVES by the year 2020….and we’ll buy them people if necessary.
2. I promise to PERSONALLY read ALL my scarves a bedtime story before every evening, by the year 2999.
3. I’ll ban the use of CRAVATS with suits, and will penalise bald men for wearing HATS! Oh and if you don’t wash HANDKERCHIEFS in a hot wash, then I’ll make this a criminal offence.
4. By the year 2055, I promise to invent THE FIRST TALKING SCARF….one that actually cares about how your day has gone(even if it doesn’t really).
5. FINALLY, if you give me your vote on June 8th then I promise to PERSONALLY HUG every SCARF that is made in Great Britain. Rest assured then, whatever SCARF you buy, then SCARFY WILL HAVE HUGGED IT!
I believe in a fairer Britain that treats SCARVES as people. PLEASE GIVE ME YOUR VOTE FOR THE SCARF PARTY AND HELP BRITAIN BECOME MORE………………SCARF! 😀
I am SCARFMAN, Leader of The Scarf Party and I approve this message!
NB Yes I have an overactive imagination, and no you won’t really see THE SCARF PARTY on the ballot paper…….SADLY! 😀
Andy 'Scarfman' Lloyd's Blog 