NARCISSISTIC GARBAGE, BUT IT MADE ME LAUGH! ‘Your Face or Mine’, new series, episode 1. A review.

This comedy game show based purely on how physically attractive people look, got off to an immediate bad start when it appeared to joke about obsessive compulsive disorder.  The featured couple Harry and Charlotte, jokingly argued together whether or not she had OCD?  As a sufferer of severe OCD for the last twenty-five years, then this section really infuriated me because it is not a topic to be laughed at.  This illness can ruin lives and can be all-consuming and severely debilitating to suffer from.

My overall impression of this show was that it was narcissistic garbage, however I have to admit to it making me laugh at times.  The format is unimaginative and unoriginal cobblers, but the comedy lay in the wonderful Katherine Ryan, being so funny with her deadpan witty comments.  Ryan was one of the co-presenters alongside the much less funnier Jimmy Carr.

An example of comedienne Katherine Ryan being humorous was when she said out of the blue,

‘Well sometimes models in real life look used up and chucked away.’

She carried the show for me and could have easily presented it by herself.  Jimmy Carr, on the other hand irked me throughout most of it.  In fairness though, he did get better as the show progressed.  His one and only funny line being,

‘I like the tattoos, it shows you’re capable of making very bad decisions…that for me is a turn-on.’

The format consisted of a number of rounds involving married couple Harry and Charlotte, where they got money for judging how good looking people were.  They got the money if their views matched with those of the studio audience.  For example, the first round was called ‘Celebrity Face-Off’, where Z-lister Pete Wicks, was deemed to be more physically attractive than another Z-lister in the form of Joey Essex.  Round two was called ‘Face The Nation’.  This involved them getting two hundred pounds for correctly deciding how good looking they were, when compared to four randomly chosen members of the public in a line up(supposedly random).

The tension at the end(it wasn’t tense) revolved around the possibility of them doubling their seventeen hundred pounds, if they got one last question answered correctly in a round called ‘Face Your Demons’.  Harry decided his wife was better looking than his female best mate, therefore they triumphed in doubling their money.  I had made it to the end and as much as I thought it was a bad programme, I thought I would have hated it a lot more than I did!

The undoubted main criticism of the format is the utterly narcissistic nature of it as already highlighted.  It sends out a really bad message to impressionable young teenagers that looks are all that matter in life.  There was not one mention throughout the show about a good personality or vast intelligence being desirable attributes in a person.  It solely focused on looks which in this day and age is a massive backward step.  This definitely is not a show for you if you like to test your general knowledge as you view.

I guess it just makes for easy viewing at the end of the day when all you fancy is a chuckle.  The over-the-top laugh of presenter Jimmy Carr though was horrendous to listen too throughout, it was like a delayed reaction with him.  It resembled the laugh of an overly excited hyena who had just found out it was happy hour at their local KFC, i.e. dreadful on the ears.

At the end of the day, would I watch this programme again? My answer to this is, only if nothing else better was on.  I have seen worse shows than this on the box, just not that much of late! 2/5.

Posted in COMEDY, ENTERTAINMENT, POPULAR CULTURE, TELEVISION, THE ARTS, TV, TV REVIEW, UK TV, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

THIS DIABETIC DETECTIVE HAS FINALLY CRACKED THE CASE……I THINK!

The trails and tribulations of being a type one diabetic and dieting!

A number of months ago I wrote a blog about how suffering from type one diabetes, had made me sort of become a diabetic detective through the years.  Infuriatingly, my blood sugars of late have been all over the place and I just wasn’t able to work out why this was the case.  I am now pleased to declare to you my friends that this case has JUST been solved……or else I think it has!

As any good diabetic detective should do, I forensically went through all aspects of my life to try and explain why my blood sugars were misbehaving.  Six months ago my Diabetic Nurse had nearly kissed me due to her being so overjoyed at how well managed my diabetes was.  I had lost almost three stones in weight, my blood pressure and cholesterol were great, and my average blood sugar reading was under the targeted figure of 7.0.

A month ago I got a bit of a bollocking(pardon my French) about my diabetes at the diabetic clinic.  I’d put on a bit of weight, my blood pressure and cholesterol levels were higher than they should be, and my average blood sugar reading was now 8.0….argh.   I hated all this being the massive perfectionist that I am.  I gave my nurse my word that I would sort it.  Thing was though, I wasn’t completely sure how too!

In an attempt to get better control I’ve examined what goes in my body like never before.  I altered what I eat late at night in case that was the reason for my high blood sugars in the morning.  I also came off certain medication for a few days to see if this made a difference, but doing both of these things didn’t alter anything.  I upped my night time insulin at night but yet again I still got high blood sugars first thing in the day.  About a week ago it was really starting to get me, I woke up in the middle of the night and my blood sugar was 18.6, i.e, horrendous when it should be between 5.0 to 7.0.  I was just soooooooo exasperated at what was going wrong…..WHAT THE HELL WAS IT???

Then, I stumbled on another possible theory, could it be due to me trying to diet?  This has meant that I’ve been drastically reducing my insulin dosage for my evening meal due to eating less, i.e but reducing my insulin too much.  I used to have twenty to thirty units at tea time, yet now I had reduced it massively to just eight to ten units.  I had nothing to lose but to test this theory out.

I feel a bit apprehensive saying ‘CASE SOLVED’ in case I am yet proved to be wrong, but this is definitely how it feels right now.  The last three days I have upped my insulin more for my evening meal and for three days on-the-trot I have woken up in the morning with BRILLIANT blood sugar readings, e.g. all been in the fives, 5.7, 5.0, 5.2.  I am that overjoyed to have seemingly finally cracked this case that I feel like crying, really I do. I have enough going wrong with my health right now, I certainly don’t need my diabetes adding to that list as well.

I guess my experience just illustrates how hard and tricky it can be to try and diet if you’re a type one diabetic.  Of course I have upped the exercise too, but I also needed to start eating less and this is where my difficulties lay.  I have felt so wound-up at not being to work out what was going wrong.  You have to constantly monitor what you put inside your body, or not put inside you as was in my case.  It has required a great deal of patience and perseverance on my part, but finally I feel I have got there(it took long enough though).  FINALLY, I THINK THIS DIABETIC DETECTIVE HAS CRACKED THIS CASE!!

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in ANXIETY, DIABETES, EMOTION, FOOD, HEALTH, mens health, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

THERAPY IS GOING WELL BUT THE HARD WORK…….IS JUST ABOUT TO START!

I just wanted to give you an update about how my mental health is right now.

I started having my CBT assessment three weeks ago and I am really pleased to say how well it is going so far.  I really like this new psychologist and so I think that is half the battle.  I say this because I have had some therapists in the past that I have not been so keen on, e.g. one scared the living daylights out of me.

The assessment so far has consisted of the psychologist getting to know me better and all about my mental health issues.  After three sessions we have now reached the point when treatment is about to start.  This scares me greatly because in some form it will involve CBT, which thus means exposure therapy.

We now have to decide which treatment model is the best one for me.  For example, do I have straight forward CBT or do I have this but slightly less in number, within a broader framework that will address the underlying issues more? It is going to be collaborative decision between us and so I need to think long and hard about this.  At the moment I’m edging towards choosing the latter option.

On the OCD front even without therapy starting yet, I am trying to fight things a lot more.  I am wearing footwear more than once after being outside in them, which is a massive thing for me.  For example, the boots I wore yesterday to therapy were the same ones that I wore three weeks ago in Manchester City centre.  I wore them in Manchester going through stains galore yet I’ve worn them twice since, so this a huge thing for me.

I am not having as many decontamination showers as I was, which means I am getting a lot more sleep.   I am generally being a calmer person which is therefore helping me cope a lot better on a day-to-day basis with things.  I think this is the meds working, they’ve definitely taken the edge off my anxiety.

That’s it then, the therapy is going to get harder very soon.  I am petrified of the road ahead because I have such a long way to go yet, but if I want my life back then I have to face my demons head on.  The therapy is going well but the hard work…..IS JUST ABOUT TO START!!

 

 

Posted in ANXIETY, DEPRESSION, EMOTION, HEALTH, mens health, MENTAL HEALTH, NHS, OCD, TRUE STORIES, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

LONG LOST FAMILY: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT- Series 2, episode 1 review. TEARS OF JOY AND BOREDOM…OR WAS IT JUST MY HAY FEVER!

Last year sometime, I can remember tweeting Long Lost Family presenters Davina McCall and Nicky Campbell, suggesting they should do a follow-up show where they give us an update to some of the reunion stories featured in the main series.  Oblivious to the first series, I then got somewhat of a delighted shock when I saw the second series of Long Lost Family: What Happened Next, listed for broadcast this week.

Overall, as the ending credits rolled I thought this first episode had been OK, but nothing more than that.  It moved me in places but it also bored me too.  I was unsure at the end whether or not I had just cried tears of joy or whether they had been more pollen induced instead.  It was a bit too repetitive for me at times.

As with the original format, there can be no denying that this show was an overly emotional watch.  Speaking about the appeal of such programmes, I now want to refer to an article that Darragh McManus wrote in 2012 entitled, ‘Reality TV: The Crying Game’.  McManus quoted Dr Pat Brereton, a senior lecturer in the School of Communications at DCU where he explained that,

”Allowing contestants to cry and express themselves feels more ‘real’ than actors in a fictional drama.  People watching can empathize with such emotional outbursts, as they feel like the contestant is one of them…and the music easily tap into our emotions…they conjure up memories.”

The tears here came from the two stories that were revisited.  One involved half siblings Cliff Jardine and Sue Ward, being heartbroken at the news that their real mum had been found but she did not wish to have any contact with them.  Nevertheless, the other story had a much more positive outcome, cue the happy waterworks.

Two years ago we saw a very emotive episode when Ron from North Wales, became reunited with his younger sister Christine, who was now living out in New Zealand.  After sixty-five years apart this feel good TV programme had brought them back together again.  The climax of this What Happened Next episode, revolved around two more of their siblings being found in the form of Lynn and Wayne.  The reunion was a really lovely thing to watch, although I have to admit to you that I am now becoming increasingly desensitized to the blatantly obvious ‘crying bits’.

Due to the recapping of the original stories/episodes in case you had missed them when first broadcast, then part of me felt bored at having to rewatch the old footage.  They were condensed versions of the previous stories so at times it felt like fast food Long Lost Family, rather than settling down to a proper three course meal version.  We saw again their initial reunions that had happened in the main programme a few years ago and again the emotional intensity of these scenes was lost somewhat due to having already seen them previously.  I found the new footage a lot more interesting to watch than the older stuff.

The problem with this highly emotional ending to this first episode of Long Lost Family: What Happened Next, was that I now wonder how the rest of this series is going to top it.  I don’t think you can, so therefore we’ve probably seen the best this series has to offer already.  This is unless other revisited stories are going to produce new siblings and new dramatic reunions, but I greatly doubt this.

I liked this programme but found myself drifting off at times and thinking about other things whilst I watched it.  Not an unmitigated disaster of a show, however not an unmitigated triumph either! 3/5.

 

 

Posted in EMOTION, ENTERTAINMENT, FAMILY, ITV1, POPULAR CULTURE, REALITY TV, TELEVISION, THE ARTS, TRUE STORIES, TV, TV REVIEW, UK TV, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

EXCITED YET SCARED, THIS IS HOW I FEEL ABOUT STARTING CBT AGAIN!

This week is a really big week for me.  In two days time I have my first CBT appointment in over five years.  For the uninitiated, CBT stands for Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, and this involves a gradual exposure to whatever your OCD phobia/s might be.

When people have asked me in the last few days whether I am looking forward to this appointment, then if I am being honest my response has been somewhat mixed.  I reply, ‘I’m excited yet also scared at the same time’.  I am excited because I want my life back but I also know how tough and nerve wracking this CBT is going to be.

The excitement and motivation comes from it hopefully allowing me to live my life once again, how I want too I mean.  For example, I have not seen my two best friends for over six to seven years and this really saddens me.  I feel guilty that I have not been there for them, not even been able to just pick up the phone to see how they were(cos of the OCD).  If it had not been for marvel of social media and me messaging them on there, then I fear my OCD would have made me lose contact with them forever.  How do you say to your two best friends that I still LOVE them dearly, even though it doesn’t appear like it because my communication with them has been so limited?  I am determined to see them soon though(Ruth and Steve) once the help starts. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder(to give it its proper name) can RUIN and DESTROY lives, I should know because it has been both ruining and destroying mine for way too long now!

One of the first things I want to do once the CBT starts is to go and speak to a Careers Counsellor for job advice.  I long to do something in the written sphere, but want to see if they think this is just a pipe dream or not.  There are soooooo many things that I want to do once the CBT starts, get a job, a flat, a girlfriend …….I WANT TO START LIVING MY LIFE ONCE AGAIN!

I am nobody’s fool though.  I am scared stiff of facing my OCD contamination demons and realise it is going to take a considerable amount of time to get to where I eventually want to be.  I guess I should have already said at this point that I suffer with emetophobia(fear of being sick) and my contamination OCD comes from worrying I am going to come in contact with sick.  This therapist is not going to be able to just wave a magic wand and get me better in a matter of days.  It is going to take a lot of baby steps along the way.  Nevertheless, I am fully committed to trying to get better because this feels like my last ever chance.

On the plus side, this will be the first time that I have had CBT whilst being on mental health medication.  My physical health up to the last six months has always prevented me from taking OCD medication, so to be able to do so now feels really encouraging.  No longer do I feel like I am trying to get better with my OCD with one hand tied behind my back.  I am taking Fluoxetine and Aripiprazole and they are definitely helping me.  I do not panic like I used too.  I do not ruminate like I used too, nor is my temper anywhere near as bad as it was.  They are not a cure I obviously realise but I generally do feel a much calmer person taking them.  I have not thought about suicide or self harming even for just one second whilst on these meds, therefore I feel hopeful about the CBT this time.

I just need my new Psychologist/therapist to be nice.  I have been scared of a therapist in the past, as well as not having any confidence in my last one(they were a trainee).  If I like her manner with me then I know this will really aid my attempt to get a lot better.  I say it again, I am excited and yet scared.  I look forward to telling you all how this first appointment went.

The month of May is mental health awareness month, so I thought I would share with you all the latest happenings in me trying to get better from this severely debilitating illness.  In the last two weeks I walked through Manchester City centre for the first time in seven years(a massive achievement for me).  This proves I am trying to conquer my fears and is the reason why I AM EXCITED YET SCARED, OF THIS FORTHCOMING CBT!!!

Posted in ANXIETY, EMOTION, FAMILY, FRIENDSHIP, HEALTH, mens health, MENTAL HEALTH, NHS, OCD, TRUE STORIES, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

PETER KAY’S CAR SHARE, SERIES 2, EPISODE 3 REVIEW : FUNNY MONKEY BUSINESS!

You know you’ve enjoyed something on the telly when every scene made you either smile or laugh.  This is what happened to me in the third episode of the second series of Peter Kay’s Car Share. 

The funniest episode thus far of the second series, this show is one of the best things to have graced our TV screens so far in 2017.  Everything worked from the dialogue, to the story, the music, the acting, as well as the fast paced editing.  Actors Peter Kay as John, and Sian Gibson as Kayleigh, really do deserve all the plaudits that they are currently receiving right now for their wonderful performances.

Back in 2010 in The Telegraph, the late great John Sullivan, decried the state of modern-day comedies.  As I am sure most of you will be aware, John was the creator and writer of the best British situation comedy ever in my eyes, namely Only Fools and Horses.  John cited ‘swearing’ as evidence that modern-day sitcoms were in the doldrums.  He claimed swearing was becoming commonplace in them just to get cheap laughs.  For example, he stated,

”I think swearing is a lazy way of getting laughs…you should be professional enough and clever enough not to need swear words.”

I would say these words could be applied and argued in the case of the utterly dreadful Mrs Brown’s Boys(though millions love it).  However, the swearing adds something to Peter Kay’s Car Share, and it does not seem out of place.  John Redmond is a working class northerner, so his swearing has a certain northern, working class edge to it.  In this third episode I am thinking here of when John swore underneath his breath at a work colleague of his, who was being rude and coarse about John’s relationship with Kayleigh.  Another example of John swearing, was when he was livid at a monkey urinating in the back seat of his car.    The swearing here wasn’t used for a cheap laugh, it was genuinely funny and appropriate given the situation.

Further in this article, Sullivan commented how in his opinion, ‘writers make hardly any attempt to tell a story these days’.  Again, I don’t think you can apply this criticism to Peter Kay’s Car Share.  For example,  this third episode was all about the budding romance between John and Kayleigh.  We saw them both take the afternoon off work so they could go on a day out together.  As Kayleigh very amusingly told John,

‘It’s alright for some, I’m still doing two-for-one on Dairylea Dunkers. God I can’t cope with that again.’

Furthermore, what with Climie Fisher’s ‘Love Changes(Everything)’ booming out as John drove, then this further signified the romantic nature of the storyline.  There was definitely an attempt to tell a story here.

The comedy highlight of this episode was when John and Kayleigh, discovered that a monkey from the safari park was on the roof of his car when they were at the seaside.  As they drove it back to the park with it sat on the back seat, an alarmed and panic stricken John said,

‘This is every shade of wrong this, we’re gonna get screwed for this, kidnapping a monkey is a serious crime.’

I loved it when Kayleigh compared the monkey ‘to a little Elton John’, when we saw it wearing a pair of jazzy sunglasses belonging to John’s niece Sophie.  Furthermore, I then cried with laughter when the monkey then sprayed wee over the pair of them.  Almost incessantly, this episode kept hitting us with laugh after laugh, it really was top quality stuff.

Three episodes broadcast so far and this second series is easily as good as the first one.  This sitcom continues to be something very special and is the reason why Peter Kay is well and truly right now a living national treasure! 5/5.

 

 

Posted in BBC COMEDY, BBC1, COMEDY, POPULAR CULTURE, SIT-COMS, TELEVISION, THE ARTS, TV, TV REVIEW, UK TV, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

THE DIABETIC CLINIC DIDN’T GO WELL : The trails and tribulations of being a type one diabetic!

About six months ago I wrote a jubilant blog about how well managed my diabetes was.  I can distinctly remember that trip to my local diabetic clinic because they also told me I had lost almost three stones in weight.  I stood there in shock at this great news.  It gave me such a confidence boost, that I felt like a randy male peacock spreading his feathers to all and sundry as I made my way out of the doctors.

Six months on and yesterday my trip to my diabetic clinic couldn’t have gone much worse. Well, I guess it could have but it doesn’t really feel like that at the moment given the massive perfectionist that I am.

My blood pressure was too high, my HbA1c blood test(average blood sugar) was too high and my cholesterol was higher than it should be.  I also feel a bit fat again(in reality I’m not overweight, but have put some weight back on).  Rather than leaving my doctors feeling like a resplendent looking peacock, this time I felt like scruffy Compo from Last of the Summer Wine!

When I got the phone call that my local diabetic nurse wanted to see me after having these latest blood tests, then I fully knew my diabetes wasn’t as good as it had been.  ‘Andy The Diabetic Detective’, is going to have to make a comeback because rather than my HbA1c reading being below the desired seven(it was 5.5 last time), now I was told it was 8.0.

I put this down mainly to two things. Firstly, during the last six months I’ve upped my mental health medications as well as taking a new one for my stomach(to protect the lining from an NSAID that I take). Secondly, I’m waking up in the middle of the night a lot and am mistakenly thinking I’m having a hypoglycemic attack when in reality I’m not, which thus involves me eating three to four digestive biscuits and making my blood sugars go too high.  It is going to take a bit of organising but I know I can sort my diabetes out once again and get it back down below seven.

My blood pressure was too high as I’ve said, being 130/90, the latter one should be no more than 80.  This is a bit of a concern so I’m going again in three weeks time to have it tested again.  I think it’s due to having OCD and so when I get to the doctors I am all tense and wound up.  If it is too high again then I guess I’ll be given tablets to bring it down.

I was pretty shocked that my cholesterol was 5.5 when it should be below 5.0.  Shocked because I have never had any issues with it before.  My urine was full of sugar(too much) and like I indicated in the above, I feel I have put most of that three stone that I lost back on.

I think I have taken my eye off the ball so to speak regarding my diet, hence my cholesterol, urine and weight not being right.  It is going to take some willpower on my part to rectify these things but rectify them I shall.  I am going eat clean again and reduce the amount of rubbish that I have recently been eating e.g pickled sauce, too many digestive biscuits, too much sugary fruit and way too many butter candy sugar-free sweets.

I am going to try and get my diabetes back to how good it was just over six months ago.  I want my next diabetic clinic appointment to go a lot better than this latest one did.  I am going to alter my diet and carry on doing the keep fit walks that I have just restarted doing.  Can I do this, can I go back to being that resplendent cocky peacock that is brimming full of confidence? HELL YES I CAN!!

Posted in ANXIETY, DIABETES, EMOTION, HEALTH, mens health, MENTAL HEALTH, NHS, TRUE STORIES, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

PETER KAY’S CAR SHARE : CRACKING AND SUBLIME! Series 2, episode 1, a review.

Peter Kay, the national treasure from Bolton, returned to our screens this week with the first episode of the second series of his award winning sit-com, Peter Kay’s Car Share.  Second series syndrome(where things are a poor second effort) was nowhere to be seen here because this offering was absolutely faultless television.  It was interesting, captivating, but most of all it was really funny.

The writing was top-notch, together with the acting, editing and music.  If this first episode is anything to go by then I will be amazed if we don’t get to see a third series.  This show is that good, that I cannot praise it anymore than I am doing here.

The start of the second series continued from where the first series had ended, namely John(Peter Kay) listening and singing to Hearsay’s ‘Pure and simple’ song that Kayleigh(Sian Gibson) had given him via her NOW 48 CD.  Having now moved to her sister’s, Kayleigh kept ringing up John as she made her way into work via a walk, a bus journey and a tram ride.  Very early on the humour was coming at us, I am thinking here of when we heard Kayleigh pretend she was head of promotions whilst chatting to a woman on the bus.  For example, Kayleigh stated, ‘I’ve got to get a Christmas team together.  There’s a whole new range coming out this year that I’ve got to oversee, it’s not just about hanging balls these days’.  Sian Gibson is a brilliant comedy actress and is just as funny, if not funnier than Peter Kay is in this.

The beauty about this sit-com is that like all the best sit-coms in the history of this genre, it makes comedy and humour out of the mundane, i.e. them travelling to and from work.  During the course of this episode funny things happened that made me appreciate the high quality of the comic writing.  There was the odd funny play on words gag, however it is the situations that John and Kayleigh find themselves in that is at the heart of why this show works as well as it does.  Funny things that occurred included John having a row with a cyclist, this argument then going viral on Youtube, and an hilarious incident where he nearly picked up a strange looking woman by mistake when shouting to Kayleigh that he would give her a lift home.

The finer details also make this show very amusing.  Yet again we heard an unbelievably bad radio advert courtesy of Forever FM, that was that bad it was very funny.  One of the highlights of this episode was us seeing a fictitious street advert, promoting a new and upcoming reality TV show on Channel 4.  Accompanied with five people pictured in mining gear, the ad read, ‘Miner celebrities, they’ve finally hit rock bottom’.  It is just little touches like this that makes this show be as special as it is.

The episode ended on a touching note as John said he would pick Kayleigh up the next day, her great company making it worthwhile for him.  It was a glorious ending to a glorious comeback episode.  I still stand by what I said last year about this programme being the best British comedy since The Office, Cracking and sublime, I can’t wait for the next instalment! 5/5.

 

 

Posted in BBC, BBC COMEDY, BBC1, COMEDY, ENTERTAINMENT, POPULAR CULTURE, REALITY TV, SIT-COMS, TELEVISION, THE ARTS, TV, TV REVIEW, UK TV, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

YESTERDAY I WALKED THROUGH MANCHESTER CITY CENTRE AND IT FELT SOOOOOOOO GOOD…….EVENTUALLY!

Ever felt truly petrified of walking through a city or town centre? I don’t mean because you’re scared of getting mugged or owt sinister like that, I mean because your whole being is crippled with fear that you might see or smell something ‘dodgy'(in my case sick)?  My life has been dominated by the latter feeling for the last six to seven years.  I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder severely right now and yesterday a potential nightmare, turned into a day of pure unadulterated ecstasy!

Yesterday was a big day for me because I had my first trip to see a hypnotherapist regarding my anxiety and OCD issues.  I was dreading going but this fear was countered by the motivation that I want my life back.  I want to start enjoying life once again, I want to be more like the person that I once was.  This person that I aspire to be once again never let his obsessions dominate and rule his life like they do at present.  I am fed up of JUST EXISTING, I want to start LIVING my life once more!

The hypnotherapy bit was stressful to an extent because I always worry about going to places that I have never been to before, i.e in terms of possible contamination.  The lady was lovely though and for about an hour we did a timeline and discussion about all my physical and mental health struggles over the years.

The actual therapy begins in my next session and I’m looking forward to it to be honest.  I have an open mind about most things in life, therefore I am willing to see if this lady’s techniques can help me in some way, shape, or form.  I know there are some people in the mental health community who don’t believe that hypnotherapy can help OCD but I have an open mind like I say.  I have Cognitive Behavioural Therapy lined up in the next few months so I have nothing to lose in seeing this hypnotherapist in the meantime.  I have nothing to lose and a load to gain even if she just helps me a little bit.  She also said that her techniques weren’t just limited to hypnotherapy either.  She said she had cured a woman who had OCD in just two sessions.  At this moment in time this all sounds too good to be true but I repeat once again, currently my mind is open to any form of help that exists out there.

After getting a taxi to the place(which is always traumatic for me at the moment), I decided I would try and get a Metrolink tram home.  The problem with this idea was that it meant walking right through the heart of Manchester city centre.  Up to yesterday, I had never been through a city or town centre for over half of a decade, I had avoided doing this like the plague and at all costs.  Here I was now though, somehow confronted with having to walk through Manchester to find the Deansgate tram station.  There were ‘dodgy’ looking stains on the pavement everywhere given the recent dry weather we’d had.  This set my anxiety levels shooting off sky high, then I kept getting funny(as in weird) ‘dodgy’ whiffs as I made my way through the streets.  I felt like a punch drunk boxer barely surviving and waiting for the knock out blow…..the ultimate contamination blow in my case.

By the time I had got home my anxiety had dropped a bit and I started fighting the OCD irrational side of me.  I was definitely going to go and see this hypnotherapist lady again I decided, even though the trip back home had been something of a nightmare.  Hours later I was nearly crying happy tears at what I had achieved that day.  I had unexpectedly done something which I thought I may never be able to do again.  Walking through a city centre is no big deal for any non mental health sufferer, but for me it was the biggest deal imaginable…..well almost.  I didn’t even immediately shower after getting back home either, which was another big tick in the box.  It felt like a breakthrough of sorts, it felt like maybe I do have a future after all!

Before I end this blog I want to comment on the amazing mental health community that exists on Twitter.  The support people give to each other on there is simply….AMAZING.  It reaffirms my faith in humanity and the support I got before and after my trip out into Manchester yesterday, well it meant an awful lot.  If any of you read this blog then I say thank you so much to you!

That’s it then, I just wanted to blog about my eventful day yesterday. The day I walked through Manchester city centre and it felt sooooo good……..EVENTUALLY!!!

 

 

Posted in ANXIETY, EMOTION, FRIENDSHIP, HEALTH, mens health, MENTAL HEALTH, OCD, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

MARVELLOUS LINARES! LINARES VS CROLLA II – A Review.

Last night I went to bed gutted that Manchester’s very likeable Anthony ‘Million Dollar’ Crolla, failed in his rematch with Jorge Linares, for the WBA, WBC Diamond and Ring Magazine Lightweight World Championships.  There wasn’t any hard luck story here with inspirational Crolla, because Venezuelan Linares gave an absolutely imperious performance, rightly winning 118-109 on all three of the judges scorecards.  To put it quite simply, Linares was just too good!

Given Crolla’s amazing backstory(once confronted two robbers who almost ended his career, to then becoming world champion), then it is very easy to like this everyday type of guy.  Crolla is a credit to the sport of boxing which has been through the mill of late with regards to bad publicity. e.g. David Haye’s ill advised comments towards Tony Bellew.  Crolla is boxing’s ‘Mr Nice Guy’ and so my heart was ruling my head before his second bout with Linares took place.  Linares was favourite beforehand but Crolla had revelled numerous times in the past playing the role of the underdog.  Could his fairy tale of a story have yet even more gold dust sprinkled on top of it I wondered?

The Manchester Arena was full of thousands of Crolla adoring Mancunians, as they cheered on their local hero to get his revenge.  Instead, what they got was an absolute masterclass by Linares.  Their first fight was close ish but with Linares rightly ending up the worthy winner.  However, this time around it was like Crolla’s beloved mighty Manchester United(Linares) taking on minnows Accrington Stanley(Crolla), the gulf in class and skill was that huge.

At the start of the fight, Linares, straight away this time displayed his amazing fast hand speed and slick movement around the ring.  Crolla kept coming forward but was unable to almost lay a glove on him. Crolla wanted to be more forceful but Linares did not allow him to be so.  Boxing has long been dubbed ‘The Sweet Science’ and this was in plenty of evidence last night with Linares.  He is a true artisan of the sport and has to be up there as one of the best pound-for-pound boxers in the world right now.

Crolla never stopped trying though as he once again showed the massive size of both his heart and kahunas.  The Manchester crowd continued to cheer their hometown hero on but it was all in vain given the excellence of Linares.  At the end of the eleventh round Crolla’s trainer Joe Gallagher, nearly pulled him out of the fight but Crolla pleaded with him quite rightly, that he be allowed to continue which indeed he did.  At the end of the final bell there was a resigned and depressed nature with the crowd.  They knew their hero had been given a boxing lesson and could have no complaints at having to witness his jubilant opponent celebrating with his team.  Crolla remains a hero of the British public though and has nothing to feel sorry for as he later apologised for letting the fans down.  Crolla let nobody down and will hopefully come again in easier battles ahead!

Just wanted to finish this review with a critique of the TV coverage of this event.  Firstly, I thought Adam Smith and in particular Carl Froch, did great jobs in terms of being the commentator and analyst.  Every time I hear Froch do the boxing on Sky Sports then he continues to get better and better in my view. His comments are always very insightful and because of who he is, his words carry a certain gravitas with them like nobody else’s do.

My only slight criticism of the production was Sky Sports new face of boxing, presenter Anna Woolhouse.  She wasn’t horrendous but in two events now she has irked me a little.  She is too over enthusiastic which then makes her delivery come across as a bit fake.  I was a big fan of the previous presenter Ed Robinson and don’t understand why he has been removed from this role?  I am sure Anna will improve in time though and before I get accused of being sexist here, I thought fellow female presenter Kate Abdo was better and her delivery more natural when she did the odd boxing event on Sky Sports!

All-in-all then, a sad night for the Crolla faithful(me included) but one where you just had to stand up and applaud the greatness of his opponent Jorge Linaries, what a MARVELLOUS performance it really was!

 

Posted in BOXING, EMOTION, ENTERTAINMENT, POPULAR CULTURE, SPORT, TELEVISION, TV, TV REVIEW, UK TV, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment