THE AMAZING POWER OF A COMPLIMENT!

Like many folk up and down the country no doubt, yesterday I went for my Christmas Day haircut….no I’m not twelve, I’m a grown man ha ha. I had to book two weeks in advance so I know I’m not the only mad person who HAS TO LOOK PRETTY ON THIS SPECIAL DAY….the things we do at this time of year hey ha. Now due to me ringing up too late, my regular dishy(I’m not sexist really ha) stylist was fully booked so I had to make do with ‘mysterious Sue’ doing my hair…….ARGH. I think I knew who she was but wasn’t fully sure. I looked like a hedgehog with my overgrown TIN-TIN hairdo though so I just had to accept anybody doing it, needs must and all that.

Sue turned out to be the Manager of the Salon and I knew we were going to have a laugh when she proudly proclaimed upon hearing me state that I usually have Kim, “I’VE LOTS OF EXPERIENCE”…..I think I replied with a smirk and a chuckle. Thinking about it now post-haircut, I think she was being serious but I assumed she was just being naughty and deliberately using this double-entendre to be flirty, made me laugh whatever.  Anyway, as she started cutting my hair we got chatting away like they do with me(BECAUSE I CAN TALK LOTS TO ANYBODY ha ha) and it wasn’t long before she payed me a compliment. I was telling her about my life and she said, “God you’re so interesting”(I did do a double take in the mirror to see if she was winding me up ha ha). Then two minutes later another stylist popped into the room to ask Sue something and she turned to them and said, “God this guy is so interesting”. Seconds later she told me how she’s said to Kim after the last time I’d be in,  how I seem to be such a lovely chatty guy. I told Sue about me having OCD and how I still feel quite embarrassed admitting this to people. She was amazing about  it and made me feel so at ease, Saying “hey you shouldn’t, I think everybody has it a little bit….”. Every two mins she was paying me a compliment, it truly was such uplifting an experience. She praised and commented on my personality, how intelligent I came across,how amazing my auburn hair colour was, you name it she complimented me on it. I’m not used to receiving compliments so felt rather embarrassed by it all……IN A LOVELY, GOOD WAY I MEAN THOUGH. I tried to make a joke of her compliments(as not to appear bigheaded or arrogant) yet also thanked her very much too. Before you say, “I bet she says stuff like that to everybody”, maybe she does ans maybe she doesn’t…I don’t really care if she does if I’m honest I can smell superficiality and fakeness a mile off though, and these compliments that came my way certainly seemed genuine enough to me.

The haircut ended and as I closed the shop door to head off to the bus stop, I felt TEN FEET TALL with all of Sue’s compliments still ringing in my ears. Underneath my comedy banter and extrovert personality, I’m quite a shy, unconfident type of person. People burst out laughing when I tell them I think I’m quite shy ha ha ha ha, trust me I am……..A BIT anyway ha. As I walked to the bus stop it was then for the first real time in my life that I truly appreciated the ENORMOUS UPLIFTING POWER OF RECEIVING A COMPLIMENT.  It was strange, I felt like I’d just taken a ‘happy drug’ of some sort, without anything actually anything passing through my lips. I had this feeling of enormous positivity, I liked myself once again. I didn’t feel like this nutter with OCD(my thoughts) or this person who is fed up and tired of fighting health battles, I felt good about myself once again and have my hairdresser Sue to thank for making me feel like this last night.

Now I know the TRUE POWER of a compliment I am going to try to pay people more than I do already. I wear my heart on my sleeve so give compliments out now and again as it is, nevertheless I could do this more so………and from now I will. If you somebody needs a lift like I did last night, THEN I IMPLORE YOU ALL TO SWAMP THEM WITH LOTS OF COMPLIMENTS.  GO ON, RIGHT NOW, GET UP ON YOUR FEET AND GO AND PAY SOMEBODY A LOVELY COMPLIMENT. THEY’RE FREE TO GIVE OUT AND SOOOOOOOO LOVELY TO RECEIVE………JUST YOU WAIT TO SEE HOW GOOD YOU FEEL NEXT TIME YOU GET ONE!!!!!!

Posted in ANXIETY, COMPLIMENT, EMOTION, mens health, MENTAL HEALTH, OCD, TRUE STORIES, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

OCD FLARE UP, NO BLOODY HEATING………….BUT LEAST MY SCAN DATE IS SOONER THAN EXPECTED!

What a diabolical week. Had a massive contamination O.C.D flare-up last Monday and was just starting to get over it when the bloody boiler brakes down and so for two days now we’ve had no heating or hot water. This as a consequence has made my O.C.D flare-up again……..LORD GIVE ME STRENGTH! I can have a shower due to the electric heating the water but the house is freezing, it’s almost unbearable given the very cold weather we are currently having. Problem is, we have not been able to find anybody who would come out today so I’m greatly fearing a very tough night ahead.  I’m dreading nobody being able to come tomorrow either and not getting the heating back til Monday or Tuesday. Being sooooooo cold and agitated is definitelty making Obsessive Compulsive Disorder worse. It’s making me constantly think I’m contaminating myself when in reality I am not, the whole episode is driving me around the bend. I just need the heating back on so normal service can be resumed. My O.C.D has sadly taken a turn for the worst however, it’s really getting me down at the moment.

The big O.C.D flare up then triggered my depression again. Depression at not being able to get on with my life still, due to one health setback after another. I see all my mates on social media getting on well with their lives, good jobs, kids, and in love with a special somebody. I want that too and I’m tired of waiting. I don’t mean to get jealous of them but I do, life doesn’t seem fair at the moment……….well it hasn’t seem fair for a long time if I’m completely honest. I’m not usually the depressive type, I am more of a ‘fight it’ sort of character but at the moment I do not seem to have much fight in me. I know there is no quick fix to my problems either, just got to be patient. I’M TIRED OF BEING PATIENT THOUGH, I WANT MY OLD LIFE AND SELF BACK NOW!

The only good news I’ve had this week is that my lymphogram scan date is much earlier than I first feared. I’m stuck not being able to get on with things until this scan is out of the way so getting a letter saying it’s on Jan 5th, was definitely a boost. The snob in me wishes it was at another hospital because where I’m having it done is a right dump, especially as it takes several hours apparently to have it done. It is also going to be tough day O.C.D wise due to loads of possible contamination reasons, but I’ll just have to fight it if is a means to getting my health issues moving forward. Regarding the lymphoedema in my lower legs, I couldn’t believe how better they have looked after having two long lie-ins in bed(due to raising my legs). Going to bed the following night my legs didn’t look too bad, it cheered me up yet also depressed me at the same time……..if that makes sense?

Latest update on the heating is that British Gas are supposed to becoming before the day ends. I just pray they do because it has gone freezing again, and I can definitely feel my O.C.D more on edge like this.  Just praying AGAIN that they can fix it when they come. If we require a new boiler then we are not going to get it fixed tonight………PLEASE LET THAT NOT BE THE CASE!

 

Posted in ANXIETY, EMOTION, HEALTH, LYMPH GLANDS, LYMPHOEDEMA, mens health, MENTAL HEALTH, NHS, OCD, RANT, TRUE STORIES, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

STRICTLY SHOCK AS PIXIE ‘NO CHARISMA’ LOTT GETS VOTED OFF AND MARK ‘VERBAL DIARRHOEA’ WRIGHT GOES THROUGH! THIS IS MY REVIEW OF STRICTLY COME DANCING, WEEK 11.

It was quarter finals week on Strictly and the twist this week was that after each couple had danced their first dance, they were all then going to take part simultaneously in a Waltzathon. If I rename this Waltzathon a STINKATHON, then you’ll get the idea of what I thought about it……lets just say I wasn’t all that impressed.

After the debacle last week of the ‘Around The World’ theme which, with the backing dancers made a right mess of things, it was a welcome return this week to the very successful tried and tested formula of previous shows. ie focusing solely on the couples with no gimmicks. The standard is so high across the board this season that none of the six couples would have looked out of place if this had been the final rather than only being the quarters. Simon Webbe opened the show with a very competent American Smooth. He’s not exactly my cup of tea possibly due to me detesting his boyband ‘Blue'(too many cocky cocks in that band for me haha), but there is no denying he does seem a genuine nice dude who loves being on the show.  Caroline Flack then gave the one of the performances of the series so far with an amazing Argentine Tango, it was electrifying. She had perfect music for the dance which underlined the stupidity of Jake Wood doing it last week to an unsuitable hand clappy Greek tune.  She ended up topping the leaderboard with a score of 39/40 and deservedly so in my opinion, she remains my favourite female on the show. Pixie ‘no charisma’ Lott then did a great Cha Cha as was expected but to be honest I tend to drift off and glaze over whenever she is on. She started off the competition too good and too dance trained so I stopped caring about her very early on. Oh and I’ve seen more personality in a carrot than there is in her, I’d also rather eat one of them than watch her dance on the telly thank you very much(harsh but fair is my motto ha ha). After last week’s ‘DANCE DISASTER’ Jake needed to knock everybody bandy with his performance and he did not disappoint with a brilliant circus themed Charleston number. Frankie Bridge did only an OK salsa and as she is the other trained dancer on the show along with Pixie, this did made me smile a bit…..her not doing that great I mean. I don’t think you should be allowed on the show if you are a skilled dancer beforehand, like these two girls clearly were.  By the time everybody had danced Frankie was somewhat surprisingly at the bottom of the leaderboard and my two favs Caroline and Jake, were in top two positions……..HOORAY!

In the last paragraph I skipped quickly describing Mark Wright’s performance because good Lord he needs a paragraph all to himself. Mr Verbal Diarrhoea with all his corny cliches was in full gibberish mode again on Saturday night, deary me! Firstly, I was already shaking my head after witnessing his ridiculous training VT clip. We see him supposedly unable to train properly, unable to put one leg in front of the other,  because he can’t get Eover the upset of being in the dance-off the week before. Then like a magical Fairy Godmother his fiancee actress Michelle Keegan speaks to him via his phone to cheer him up and then all of sudden he’s dancing around like bloody Billy Elliott. Michelle Keegan to Mark Wright was the like the human version of Popeye’s Spinach, it was corny beyond belief. I was also shocked to find out that Mark Wright’s fiancee is the ex Corrie actress Michelle Keegan……….afterall it’s NOT LIKE WE HAVEN’T SEEN HER ABOUT 50 ODD BLOODY TIMES ON SHOW ALREADY IS IT, LORD GIVE ME STRENGTH!  To top it off after he finished dancing Michelle Keegan is mentioned THEN AGAIN by either him, Tess or Claudia(I can’t quite remember exactly which one of them brought her name up). It’s like nobody else has ever had a fiancee before for crying out. LOOK WE GET IT, WE HAVEN’T FORGOTTEN SHE IS YOUR GIRLFRIEND AND YOU PLAN TO MARRY HER SOON…………COS YOU KEEP MENTIONING EVERYTHING BLOODY WEEK! You’re telling me the producers would have kept up these non-stop weekly reaction shots of her if she had a face like the back end of a bus………..I think we all know the answer to that one ladies and gentlemen argh. Furthermore, his latest annoying repeated phrase he is coming out with non-stop is that ‘he never expected to reached this far’. I think in the space of two weeks he said this about FIVE HUNDRED TIMES, or maybe it just feels like it. I can’t level arrogance because he’s not, he talks utter shite that’s all ha ha!

Just before the Waltzathon started I thought to myself,I bet they end up putting Pixie in first place here, thus less likely to be in the Dance-Off tomorrow. I could feel I was in danger of having a MAN TANTRUM at the prospect of this ha ha. of Although something a bit different the waltazathon did not work for me. The camera shots could not really give us the required shots at home to enable us compare how each couple was dancing in relation to one another. It was a bit like going to the fairground and watching fast rides go zooming past you, it was all over a bit too quickly without much sense made of it. My worse fears came true and surprise surprise class swot Pixie came first adding a further six points to the thirty-five she already had for her cha-cha. Jake came last in the Waltzathon and so went from second in the points standings to now only joint third with two other couples. It just left a bad taste in my mouth. It didn’t seem right that Pixie and Frankie should end so high up the overall leaderboard,  which was solely down to this ruddy Waltzathon. Therefore, I went from thinking Jake should easily make the semi-final after his Charleston, to the worrying on results night that his days might indeed be numbered. I feared Pixie had dodged a bullet, lucky girl!

Sunday was results show and boy I was really nervous watching it. I thought this could go either way for Jake Wood if I’m honest. I had been reading how popular he was on twitter during the week, so I was hoping his ‘Eastenders’ fanbase might be enough to see him through. I don’t mind if he doesn’t even win it but prior to this show I didn’t want both Frankie and Pixie getting to the final.This week a good dancer was guaranteed to be going home though…ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh the tension ha ha.  The biggest shock of the entire series happened when Pixie Lott and her dance partner Trent Widdon were the first couple named in the Dance-Off. Pixie finished second from the top remember after the Waltzathon so it was a huge surprise to see her there……..or was it? If lots of people had been thinking the same about her as me(too well trained a dancer in the first place), then maybe it was not a shock to have seen her there afterall? Can you believe Mark ‘Verbal Diarrhoea’ Wright was the first celebrity to get through to the semi-final, I was staggered that he had not come in the bottom two. I guess people like an underdog and a trier, I can see where they are coming from if these are some of the reasons why people are voting for him. He’s a nice enough bloke but just irritates the life out of me…….I think I’ve got that across  to you all by now ha ha ha. Dance-off vetern Simon Webbe and his dance partner Kristina Rihanoff were the other couple named in the bottom two. I was bricking it right til near the end  because Jake Wood with his dance partner Janette Manrara were the last ones to go through to the semi-final.

With the shock still of Pixie being in the bottom two for the first time, the dance-off had a real sense drama and edge4 about it. I dreamed and hoped Pixie would be voted off but was almost one hundred per cent sure Simon Webbe would be the one leaving. After Craig Revel Horwood saved Pixie I did a grimace because I knew the rest would duly follow suit. Darcey Bussell then mixed things up by voting for Simon but this was then cancelled out by Bruno Tonioli picking Pixie. At two one to Pixie but with the all deciding casting vote, it all came down then to Head Judge Len Goodman to decide who would make it through to the semi-final. He started this meandering speech over the decision he was about to make and the more he went on the more I sensed he was going to plump for Simon Webbe to stay. Seconds later this was confirmed when he stated he had chosen to save Simon over Pixie. This was the biggest shock of the series but one I’m unashamed to admit I was delighted with. I’m sure Pixie is a lovely girl in real life but for me she should never have been on the programme in the first place. How can you get behind somebody who is too good to start off with and seemingly has zero personality…….answer is I never could(think I might be in danger of repeating myself) haha. I’ve seen some of her fans aren’t happy and threatening to boycott watching the show, oops ha ha ha ha. You then take a moment and think blimey, all this furore just over a ballroom dancing show ha. Hey, it took me three weeks to get over Thom Evans getting voted off so I feel your pain you PIXIE LOTT-ITES ha ha.

There we have it then that was my look back at week eleven on Strictly, hopefully it made you giggle in bits.  Next Saturday is semi-final time and with them doing two dances each it should be a cracker. I want Caroline and Jake in the final and Mr ‘Verbal Diarrhoea’ to finally bow out gracefully………….and WITHOUT A LOVING EMBRACE FROM MICHELLE KEEGAN ON CAMERA IF HE DOES. Mark Wright and Michelle Keegan are seeing each other by the way and getting married, just in case you didn’t know!!!! ;D

Posted in BBC, BBC1, COMEDY, POPULAR CULTURE, RANT, REALITY TV, STRICTLY COME DANCING, TELEVISION, THE ARTS, TV, TV REVIEW, UK TV, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I DON’T LIKE CRICKET OH NO, I LOVE IT…………BUT FEEL INCREDIBLY SAD EVERY TIME I THINK ABOUT THE DEATH OF PHILLIP HUGHES!

As that classic Bobby Cliff song goes, “I don’t like cricket on no, I love it”, and this perfectly sums up my feelings towards this great game.  I can’t quite remember exactly where or when I first fell in love with cricket but it has always been a big part of my life. My love affair with cricket has been so eternal that I jest with people that Dad must have given me a bat and ball as soon as I was out of the womb….I wouldn’t have put it past him God rest his soul ha ha. My Godfather Uncle Stan played cricket for Cheshire, my late Uncle Jim had trails for Lancashire, and my late Father was a decent club player at local league level. On family holidays when I was a kid we were forever having games of cricket in the local park or on the beach when the tide was out.  Remembering such days of the past makes me happy but also kind of sad.  I miss those family holidays when everything seemed so much simpler in life back then. I also miss my Uncle Jim and Dad not being here anymore, but at the same time I know these happy family memories of mine will stay with me forever.  I duly followed in Dad’s footsteps and went on to play cricket for various teams. I got a hat-trick(three wickets in three balls) playing in an Under 15s match once and we still have the ball mounted on a plaque on my Mother’s living room sideboard. As a young teenager I used to live for Sundays in the summer months, where we’d head off to Old Trafford to watch my beloved Lancashire play a one day game. I can still remember going to my first game and me getting scared to death because Michael Holding(ex West Indian great) playing for Derbyshire, hit this massive six and it landed near us. My point of all this is that my passion and love for the game of cricket will always be part of me, it’s part of who I am.  Therefore, I could not believe it  last week when I heard the most tragic news that Australian International cricketer Phil Hughes had died due to being hit by ball on the neck. To be honest it still feels like a dream because I still can’t believe it actually happened, or rather I’m finding it hard to accept it. This is cricket remember not boxing, PEOPLE DON’T DIE PLAYING CRICKET……..I guess this view I used to hold is redundant now after this heartbreaking episode.

I can remember reading or hearing about cricketer Phil Hughes being badly injured after getting hit by a ball, and to be honest I didn’t really think too much more about it. Batsmen are always getting hit by the ball so I just assumed this must just have been a bad one. I thought to myself, oh he’ll be fine in a week or two no doubt. Then I heard an update that he was now in coma and that his condition was now being described as critical. I was really shocked at this news but yet again I confidently thought he’d get over the worst of it and make a full recovery in time. I say it again, PEOPLE DON’T DIE PLAYING CRICKET DO THEY, so he was bound to get better?  The day after my Mother woke me up to the most tragic of news of all, namely that at the only tender 25 yrs of age, cricketer Phillip Hughes had died(of a vertebral artery dissection).  I couldn’t believe it, I was truly saddened and shocked. Not in a million years did I think he might die. Soon afterwards I went on the internet and it was truly heartbreaking to read about it all. According to reports, he had been unbelievably unlucky. I read an article that said in literature there has only been a hundred cases of this type of death recorded. The ball hit him below his protective helmet on the upper part of his neck. This led to the artery splitting and thus he had lots of bleeding in the brain. The more I read the emotional reactions from people on twitter then the more upset I found myself getting. I am not embarrassed to admit that tears welled up in my eyes about three of four times that day due to being so upset by the this tragic news.  I thought about the anguish his family must be going through and I was also devastated for the poor guy who bowled him that fatal delivery. Sean Abbot at only 22yrs old was just doing his job, he just bowled a bouncer to try and get the batsmen out like millions of other bowlers have done in the past.  How do you get over this if you’re him……can you ever, I sincerely hope he can? In the immediate aftermath it was comforting to see ex-players showing concern for him by stating how much support Abbot needs from us all now. It was so moving to read Hughes’ family state how they wanted to give Abbot a big hug when they saw him at the funeral, to show him that they didn’t blame him and it was just a freak accident.

Social media is always in the headlines these days and mostly it’s for the wrong reasons. eg people sending abusive messages to others. The death of Phillip Hughes however showed humanity at its best, it showed the greater cricket community at its best too. The vehicle that allowed cricket lovers throughout the world to pay tribute to Phil Hughes, was the creation of the twitter hashtag #PutOutYourBats accompanied with a photo of your cricket bat(in/outside homes, outside peoples’ works, and in sporting venues).  The creator is an Australian man called Paul Taylor who lives Sydney. He said it was just his way in expressing how sad he felt upon hearing the news about Hughes. It soon became a global phenomena and it was an unbelievably moving thing to see on twitter. Celebrities, famous ex cricketers and current international players all posted images of their caps and bats. Crickets fans around the world took part too, there was a real sense of all the cricket fans throughout the world coming together and paying homage to this fallen cricket star via this method. Pakistan were in the middle of a Test Match when it happened and so it was so moving too see the bat of each player positioned outside their dressing room in honour of Phil.  This way of paying tribute to Phil just seemed to fit the mood perfectly.  It was heartfelt, dignified and a great way in expressing comradeship between fellow cricket lovers……..all of who were bereft and suffering at hearing such tragic news.

I was reading about the funeral of Phillip Hughes and came across the very moving speech that Australian Captain Michael Clarke gave. The line that struck me the most was when he said, “Phillip’s spirit , which is now part of the game forever, will act as a custodian of the sport we all love”. I hope from these words and out of this very sad event professional cricket can have a sort of re-birth of sorts because it needs it. I agree with both commentator Mark Nicholas and journalist Lawrence Booth that cricket in terms of aggression, has in recent years gone a step too far.  Jimmy Anderson in my view doesn’t need to be that aggressive towards opposing batsmen. The way Sri Lankans all rounded on young Joe Root when batting last Summer in a Test left a bad taste in the mouth.  I also have to pull up Michael Clarke when he was overheard sledging Anderson in the Ashes last year, telling him to get ready to receive a broken arm from the bowling of Mitchell Johnson. Nicholas implores players to “stop the rancour, stop the sledging, play the game and ignite the friendships that make it so special”. Booth states how in the immediate aftermath of Hughes tragedy it should remind everybody of the true spirit of cricket, he wants cricket to be kinder. He also comments on Test match between Pakistan and New Zealand that was going on whilst the Hughes tragedy was unfolding. The Pakistani batsmen Asad Shafiq was dismissed for 137  and very sportingly, New Zealand’s Kane Williamson ran thirty or forty rans to shake his hand. A kinder cricket is what Booth calls for, cricket is a better sport played like this adds and I for one agree. Do not misunderstand me I don’t want watered down cricket because cricket is at its best when played hard, no quarter given.  We want to see the fascinating adrenaline pumping duels between an ace fast bowler and a master batsmen. I think back to that fascinating duel between South African fast bowler Allan Donald and England Opening Batsman Michael Atherton, the intensity and atmosphere they both produced was electric. The hostile bouncer even after this incident must remain part cricket in my opinion because it is such an important part of the game, such an important part of a bowler’s arsenal. I just pray cricket helmet manufacturers can improve their products enough so that if you area hit in this neck area where Phillip Hughes was, then you don’t stand any chance of losing your life.

I end this blog by quoting a very fitting line that Cricket Australia Chief James Sutherland gave at the Phillip Hughes funeral. In the midst of this tragedy he said, “cricket’s heart has been pierced with pain, but it will never stop beating.  I love cricket and always will, I just don’t want to see a death like this ever happen again………because then I will have to seriously QUESTION MY LOVE AFFAIR WITH CRICKET!

Posted in CRICKET, death, EMOTION, grief, HEALTH, MENTAL HEALTH, social media, SPORT, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I SEEM TO BE TAKING ONE STEP FORWARD, TWO STEPS BACK AT THE MO….FEEL LIKE THROWING THE TOWEL IN AT TIMES!

MY QUEST TO GET A FULFILLING LIFE ONCE AGAIN CONTINUES TO BE THWARTED BY MY RECENT DIAGNOSIS OF LYMPHOEDEMA!

I am a bundle of utter frustration at the moment, it’s a long story that has seen much anguish and many tears of frustration. Those of you who know me or who have read my previous ‘health related’ blogs will know what I’m on about.  I just want ONE thing out of life before my days end…………..THE CHANCE TO BE ABLE TO FINALLY LIVE IT ONCE AGAIN!

I’m a type one diabetic and my life altered when I got a prostate infection aged twenty-one. After I finished University I wanted to become a Careers Counsellor but first I knew I had to get to the bottom of the pelvic pain that I had. Eventually I found out what was wrong with my back, ribs, shoulder and pelvis. I should be able to get them much better with lots of manual therapy(physio).  I’d had just one trip to see a new physiotherapist when disaster struck this Summer and I got this awful rash on my legs called cellulitis. I then got diagnosed with a thing called lympthoedema, thus explaining the swollen ankles and lower legs I’d had for around eighteen months. By now I expected to have got on top of the lymphoedema so I could restart physio on my back, I haven’t however and so mentally it’s killing me!

After much thought, consideration and various chats with family members, we decided I should try and first get the lymphoedema improving before embarking on further back and pelvic physio. This also applies to getting more O.C.D help, I’ll be able to focus more on the C.B.T(Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) once I get the built up fluid in my legs moving(a by-product of lymphoedema). All this sounds very good in theory but as yet I’ve had no help or treatment for the lymphoedema and so I’m tired of waiting. There is a thing called Manual Lymphatic Drainage which is said to offer lymphoedema suffers some relief. It gets the built up fluid moving(I think) and luckily I have found two or three private practitioners who deliver this treatment in my area(it’s a bit unusual so not lots of people who do it).  I was just about to go and have my first session of this leg massaging done when I happened to talk on the phone to the Specialist Lympghoedema Nurse at my local hospital.  She said she would not go and have this MLD done until I’ve had a vascular assessment from a Vascular Consultant at the hospital. When ringing up and speaking to these people who administer MLD, they too said that they would feel more comfortable doing it on me once in receipt of a vascular assessment report. Therefore, I was stuck, the Manual Lymphatic Drainage had to be put on hold til my appointment came up to see a Vascular Doc at the hospital. Last week I had this appointment and I came away feeling a fed up, I still am now.

I was dreading going to the hospital for the vascular appointment(O.C.D wise) but knew I just had to put up the possibility of contaminating myself in order to hopefully get my legs improved.  I needed to get the ball rolling, I needed them to tell me that at long last I have their permission to have this MLD done.  It did not start off too well due to me not getting to see the actual Consultant who I’d been referred too see. This is the Vascular Consultant who the now leaving Oldham Lymphoedema nurse Helen Readie, said to me is the guy I want to be seeing.  Instead, I saw this young Asian lady doctor who I believe was his number two. I nearly refused to be seen by her because I wanted to be seen by the top dog, but I thought that would cause a scene and I don’t like causing them. I forced myself to try and give this junior doctor a chance and some respects I’m pleased I did because she was fine. She told me the usual stuff about trying to keep my legs elevated as much as possible and that compression socks may help. I frustratingly told her that I’m unable to wear compression stockings at the moment due to them making my sciatica and iliopsoas pain much worse…….ARGH. She examined my swollen ankles and said how she couldn’t feel a pulse in them due to the excess fluid. She told me that she would put me down for a lymphogram so they can look at the state of the lymph glands in my legs. It could mean surgery maybe but as my legs aren’t that bad then she doubted they would recommend such treatment. ie more conservative forms of treatment first. I was happy with her saying I should have such a scan due to the Lymphoedema Nurse saying to me on the phone prior that they might want to do such a scan. What I found soul destroying however, was her then saying it would not be done til after Christmas(due to waiting time).  She advised me NOT to have any manual lymphatic drainage done until after I’ve had the scan and seen them back in clinic with the results.  I am therefore STUCK……..AGAIN, life on hold until I have this f-ing scan done. I don’t feel any better yet regarding the lymphoedema because like I’ve already said, I’M UNABLE TO GET THEM TO SAY I CAN GO AWARD WITH THE DRAINAGE MASSAGING AT THE MOMENT. It does makes sense to have the scan done first before letting somebody massage them, I get that thinking about it rationally. Nevertheless, at the same time it doesn’t help me in the short-term though. With my legs swollen like this and pre drainage, I could very easily contract cellulitis again. This was proven when I got it again four weeks ago. Ended up taking the antibiotic Clindamycin for two weeks and currently I don’t know if I’ve just had a stomach virus or taking too many antibiotics has given me an infection of the gut. I feel like my body is constantly being poisoned with little energy.  I’m sure it’s something to do with this build up of fluid in my body and it not being able to drain away properly.

I am satisfied that I have been put down for a lymphogram, I just don’t want to have to wait ages for it though(no date yet), it’s the waitiing that gets me down.  After I’ve had the results this should kick-start the manual lymph drainage and me feeling better with the lymphodema. Once I’m on top of this then I can start the back and pelvic physio again which will then motivate me to try and tackle my O.C.D more. I am a fighter without a shadow of a doubt, I should get the ‘old Andy’ back in time…….I just need the real me to emerge sooner rather than later though!

Posted in ANXIETY, HEALTH, LYMPH GLANDS, LYMPHOEDEMA, mens health, MENTAL HEALTH, NHS, OCD, skin infection, TRUE STORIES, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

PIXIE AND FRANKIE STILL BORE THE PANTS OFF ME, TESS AND CLAUDIA ARE ABOUT AS FUNNY AS A DOSE OF PILES…AND MARK WRIGHT REMAINS THE KING OF VERBAL DIARRHOEA! THIS IS MY REVIEW OF WEEK TEN ON STRICTLY COME DANCING.

It was week ten on Strictly Come Dancing last Saturday and for some reason best unbeknown to me, it was entitled ‘AROUND THE WORLD’ week. Now up to this point I’ve always been a fan of themed weeks such as when they do a ‘Film Week’ and make a big fuss over Halloween, but for me this theme didn’t work or add anything at all. It was full of national stereotypes to me such as the Greek dancing plate smashing and off course when Ireland was touched on, the RiverDance brigade were wheeled out for crying out loud argh. All week I’d been looking forward to watching my favourite celebrity contestant Jake Wood do a steamy Argentine Tango. Instead of this, we got a Argentine Tango/Greek Traditional dance fusion which looked ridiculous. All the emotional intensity and drama that this dance brings in it’s purest form was lost. I know the Strictly producers must try and keep a fresh feeling to the show but they messed about with it way too much this week in my opinion.

This year when they went to Blackpool to do a show we saw the inclusion of backing dancers. They didn’t get on my nerves that week but their inclusion again in this show, really annoyed the hell out of me. I’m not sure if I noticed the backing dancers more this time because the usual studio dance floor is smaller than the one at Blackpool, but I just found them an utter distraction. Sunetra Sarker was there trying to get all seductive doing her Rumba and I just couldn’t lose myself in her performance because the backing dancers kept getting in the blooming way. Worst was to happen when Jake did his Greek themed Argentine Tango. There was that many people on the dance floor that a female backing dancer disastrously collided into him and his partner Janette Manrara. I get why they were included in the Blackpool week but it was a massive error to wheel them out again, they hindered instead improving the couples performances.

I found the presenters Tess Daley and Claudia Winkleman really irritating too this show. I don’t mind Tess when she is just doing straight forward presenting but when she tries to do comedy she is like a fish out of water. I know some of Sir Bruce Forsyth’s jokes were a bit cringe worthy  in previous years, but they made me laugh exactly because they were so poor. He delivered them with ease like the old pro he is, looked comfortable doing it. There was this segment where Tess was offering fudge to the audience and one was Frankie Bridge’s Dad, it was about as amusing as a cold wet kipper. This was topped in the dire stakes when Claudia did her regular ‘acting the fool for five minutes with Tess bit’……when she kept asking her if she wanted cheese or something(I can’t remember exactly). I just remember thinking, STOP TRYING TOO HARD TO BE FUNNY, IT’S NOT FUNNY. Although I’d prefer a male comic to co present with Tess, I haven’t minded Claudia Winkleman on the whole this year. She is genuinely  witty at times especially when poking fun at the contestants. I just feel that when she ‘acts the goat’ too much it’s not funny and rather embarrassing.

Regarding how the actual celebrity contestants did, my favourite performance of the week was Carol Flack’s Charleston. Unlike Frankie and Pixie Lott who bore me too tears(already trained dancers and so shouldn’t be doing it), I’ve really warmed to Caroline. She seems a lovely young woman with bags of personality and I hope her and Jake make it too the final. That said about Caroline and how good her Charleston was, what the hell has it got to do with the country of Turkey(their theme, and another reason why the theme of the show didn’t work)????? Pixie Lott and her partner Trent Whiddon bore the hell out of me and Frankie Bridge isn’t far behind her on that score either. I’m sure Pixie is a lovely sweet girl away from Strictly but she has zero charisma here. Even when her and Trent celebrate getting through to another week it’s almost painful to watch. A slab of concrete has more charisma in it than she has in her whole being. I also hate trained celebrity dancers like her coming on and taking part in the show. It is an unfair advantage over the other celebrities who don’t come from a dance background.  This is the reason I disliked Natalie Gumede and Denise Van Outen doing it previously, I’m just unable to get behind and root for such celebs.

The dance-off last night came down to actress Sunetra Sarker vs Mr Verbal Diarrhoea himself, TOWIE’s Mark Wright. Although I didn’t want him to get through, Mark deservedly won the battle and Sunetra was voted off. The issues I have with Mark Wright is that he is too eager too impress and talks absolute shite. As he regular admits, ‘he’s loving every minute of the Strictly experience’, but so much so that it makes it/him uncomfortable to watch. He’s taking it miles too seriously and to have broken down once and nearly done so again several times due to nearly being voted off is a joke……….GROW SOME BALLS MAN AND GET IT INTO SOME PERSPECTIVE! Oh and if we see another reaction shot of his ex-Corrie actress Fiancee Michelle Keegan in the audience, THEN I AM GOING TO SCREAM! Over the course of the last ten weeks we’ve been introduced to all his ruddy family, I DON’T BLOODY CARE……without meaning to sound harsh ha ha.

There we have it then people that is my review done of week ten on Strictly. I love the show but this was definitely the weakest show of the series so far. I want Jake Wood back on form in the quarter final next week because I really don’t want BORING PIXIE or BORING FRANKIE WALTZING OFF WITH THE TITLE……….now that would be a DANCE DISASTER DARLING!

Posted in BBC1, COMEDY, POPULAR CULTURE, REALITY TV, STRICTLY COME DANCING, TELEVISION, THE ARTS, TV, TV REVIEW, UK TV, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A FEMALE COPPER HELL-BENT ON REVENGE, SIX PREGNANT HORMONAL WOMEN ABOUT TO DROP ANY SECOND….AND A ARMY MEDIC WHO I WISH HAD NOT PASSED HER MEDICAL EXAMS! This is my review of some of the programmes I have enjoyed and also endured, on British Television in 2014.

 

HAPPY VALLEY(BBC 1).

‘AMAZING ACTING AND WONDERFUL WRITING…..MY FAVOURITE THING ON TV IN 2014’!

Writing earlier this year in the Radio Times, Jack Seale proclaimed how up to that point Happy Valley was the “drama of the year so far”.  In the Telegraph, Gerard O’Donovan citied the “uniformly superb cast” in Happy Valley, and Mark Lawson in The Guardian stated how “Sarah Lancashire gives her best performance”. Many people when reviewing or eating or watching something, decide to leave the best til last. I thought I would break with this tradition and START WITH THE BEST FIRST. I agree wholeheartedly with these quotes I’ve just listed. I’d go as far to say that Happy Valley is one of the best televisions dramas that I have seen in my entire life…..IT’S THAT GOOD!

Set in the rural picturesque Yorkshire area of Hebden Bridge, it focuses on the turbulent life of Police Sergeant Catherine Cawood(played amazingly by Sarah Lancashire). We soon learn that her life is tormented on daily basis by the suicide of her daughter years before, who had a baby after being raped. The gloom that descends Catherine is to do with the knowledge that the perpetrator Tommy Lee Royce(played by the brilliant James Norton) has been released back into the community.  She is determined Tommy Lee Royce will truly pay for what he did to her daughter, and only then once this has happened will she then be able to find some closure.

With the back story now set, we are taken on a journey that involves kidnap, rape, drugs and several murders. We witness many juxtapositions in this drama. The idyllic settings against inner city poverty and deprivation. The love and closeness Catherine feels to her deceased daughter, compared to her distant relation she has with her son(who is angered by her decision to bring up his dead sister’s child. Steve Pemberton is marvellous in the role of Kevin Weatherill, a man who feels his lot has been cheated in life at the hands of his boss Nevison Gallagher(played by George Costigan). It’s this sense of injustice and in particular financial injustice, that sets forward very dramatic actions which will have far reaching consequences.

The plot is original, thought provoking, and although hard to watch at times by the end you feel all the more richer for having witnessed it . This together with the incredible acting and blood pumping soundtrack, makes for utterly compulsive viewing. If you did not see this programme when it was on then you HAVE TO ORDER IT ON DVD. It’s brilliant and the best thing that’s been on telly for years……SIMPLE AS THAT! 5/5.

THE AMERICANS SEASON 2(ITV1).

‘MY KIND OF RUSSIAN SPIES’!

For some reason and I say this somewhat regrettably, I don’t seem to have done the big US dramas over the years. Partly through not realising they were on before it got to late to late to get into them is the main reason I guess. Being a political animal, I know I would have enjoyed West Wing for instance. I have not seen one episode of The Sopranos, The Walking Dead or even Homeland argh. Therefore, it is slightly surprisingly that I have become such a fan of this American drama The Americans,.I somehow stumbled upon the first season on ITV when there was nothing else to watch at that time on the telly. Am I soooooooo glad I did because I quickly became hooked, behind Happy Valley it’s my second favourite thing that has been on the telly in 2014. I’m just praying now ITV decide to show the upcoming third series in early 2015.

To sum it up quickly, it’s set in early 1980s America where the Cold War is in full swing and we follow the lives of two American KGB Russian spies, a married couple called Elizabeth(played by Keri Russell) and Phillip Jennings(played by Welsh actor Matthew Rhys). They have two children Paige and Henry and they are unaware of the double lives their parents lead. The episodes therefore are juxtaposition diet of some dangerous espionage mission the couple are sent on, counterbalanced with challenges that parenthood brings up back at the family home. A highlight of this season was an inquisitive Paige trying to find out what her parents were really up too. We also follow the activities of the FBI and in particular the turbulent life of Agent Stan Beeman(played brilliant by well known actor Noah Emmerich). We fear one day he will find out the true identities of the Jennings but in he had his hands full largely elsewhere in season two. For example, he has an an affair with a Russian spy called Nina(played by Annet Mahendru).

The acting is brilliant, especially from Matthew Rhys, and the fast paced narrative keeps you on the edge of your seat throughout. My only criticism to it would be that sometimes the missions they get set can be a bit tricky to fully understand and follow at times. Nothing to stop it being a greatly enjoyable watch but you do have to concentrate at all times when viewing it. I also found the constant adverts from ITV annoying by the end of it’s run. Nevertheless, if that is what it takes or what I have to put up with to see an eagerly anticipated third series early next year, then I can put up with that I guess.  A sign of you loving a show is when you miss it not being on the telly after the series has finished. I’m like this since season two of The Americans has ended, Saturdays nights aren’t just as good anymore. 5/5.

BRITAIN’S GREAT WAR(BBC1).

‘HISTORY THAT SHOULD NEVER BE FORGOTTEN’.

Like many through the years via my education and things in the media, I’ve come to know more about World War Two than World War One. As the time as gone on therefore this has increased my appetite to find out more about World War One. I can remember us studying it briefly one week at University and the horrific mass destruction of it being told. How the entire male population in some villages and towns were wiped out(through death at battle). Therefore, I watched this four part BBC documentary fronted Jeremy Paxman about Britain’s effort in World War One with great anticipation. It was exactly what I had hoped for. It was both extremely informative and incredibly moving, I think moving me to tears on several occasions. David Chater from The Times described this series as “superb” and said “it does justice to the unimaginable scale of a cataclysm”. I agree whole heartedly with his words. Yes, it was  a heavy serious watch but TV is not all about the silly laughter and froth that comes with Reality TV these days. I felt somehow enriched to know more about the suffering and sacrifices that had taken place in this period of time. Furthermore, it made me feel proud of my nation. A great series and starting point if you want to know more about Britain’s role in World War One. 4.5/5.

THE VOICE UK 2014(BBC1).

‘A LOUIS WALSH FREE ZONE………HOORAY’!

As you’re either a boobs or face man, it appears you’re either a X-Factor or The Voice UK  kind of man………..or woman. I’ll let you into an exclusive here girls, I’m a face man and I definitely prefer The Voice UK over The X-Factor ha.  There is no bloody silly clap hands, Louis Walsh on The X-Factor for a start. There is less demeaning of people on this show, no ruddy ad breaks every five seconds, and all the audience from Jeremy Kyle don’t seem to audition for this show either thank God …harsh but fair Andy ha ha. This year we lost judges Danny O’Donoghue(The Script) who I liked, and also the whiny irritating but somewhat likeable, Jessie J. Sadly my least two favourite judges kept their roles, namely Tom Jones(too old) and WILL.I.AM(not funny). The show was refreshed by the new judges Ricky Wilson(The Kaiser Chefs) and Kylie Minogue. Wilson being the ‘indie’ one was my new fav and he came across like a decent, funny bloke. The Aussie superstar Kylie Minogue stole the show however and I bet BBC bosses were gutted to hear she won’t be doing the series again in 2015. She quite literally espouses SEX APPEAL. Lets just say I think her flirty little ways won over the majority of the red blooded males who auditioned. If you had the choice to cuddle up next to her or do the same with Tom Jones, who must smell of cough sweets and Old Spice aftershave, then you don’t even have a decision to make do you? ;D

Even though I was disappointed who won this year’s show in the form of Jermaine Jackson(I wanted the one of the two women to win), like I say I still think it’s the best singing talent show on British television right now. I’m not a superfan or anything like that but it is definitely watchable early on in the year when early Saturday night telly is very poor. 3/5.

IN THE CLUB(BBC1).

‘A MAN FRIENDLY DRAMA ABOUT PREGNANCY’!

Not being that big a fan of the writer Kay Mellor’s finest work in the past(notably Fat Fat Friends), I therefore sat down to watch this half expectant that it wouldn’t be my cup of tea.  After all, it’s about six pregnant women who have formed a close bond via going to Antenatal classes.  I’m not female(not the last time I looked anyway), have thus never been pregnant, nor am I a man who has fathered any kids yet either. Nevertheless, by the end of the first episode I had really enjoyed it and was hooked. This is because my initial synopsis of the show does not do it any justice, there is a lot more to it than just six pregnant women. Yes strong pregnant women are at the core of Mellor’s writing, but it focuses  on their lives, their relationships, and their famillies. We see Will Mellor give his best performance to date in my opinion. He plays the likeable but desperate Rich who has been made redundant six months previously, whose family are at financial breaking point. This results in him making a botch job of trying rob a bank near the end of episode one. It is dramatic stuff brilliantly played by Will Mellor and is furthermore well written by his namesake Kay. Teenage pregnancy is another focus as well as the issue of a lesbian falling in love with her sperm donor. There is great comedy too, my highlight being Asian Father Dev(played by Sacha Dhawan) leaving his new born baby in the van whilst going to the supermarket, forgetting he now was a Dad(it was funnier than it sounds) .

Whilst leaving itself open for a second series, the final sixth episode was a real cracker. It focused primarily on Midwife Vicky(played by Christine Bottomley) and the birth of her baby. It was dramatic, moving and ends on a real feel good note. I was pleased to hear soon after it had finished that it has been recommissioned for a second series next year. Ellen E Jones wrote in The Independent how it was a “warm new drama that could grow into something special”…and I’ll conclude by saying I fully agree! 4/5.

CARL FROCH V GEORGE GROVES II(SKY BOX OFFICE).

‘FROCH DOES THE UK POPULATION A FAVOUR AND FINALLY SHUTS UP MR BIG MOUTH’!

After the controversial first fight and George Groves claiming he was robbed(he got controversially stopped by the Ref), once this rematch got made it was always going to be a real cracker. Groves continued to goad Froch in the buildup but this time Froch handled himself a lot better. He didn’t get as emotionally involved as did in the first fight, allowing Groves back then to severely wind him up. This was a more mature Froch and boy did I really want him to shut this immature, cocky prick up.  People were cheering Groves by the end of the first fight yet he let his mouth run away with him again in the build up to this rematch. I remember thinking to myself as the fight was just about to start,’God, Groves is going to be unbearable if he beats Froch here’. Sky Sports  and promoter Eddie Hearn did a brilliant job production and promoting wise, they built it up to be this ‘must see event’ you just had to see if you were a big sports fan like myself. Eighty thousand fans were crammed into Wembley Stadium on that epic night. The night was made perfect when Carl Froch floored Groves with a brutal knockdown in Round 8. According to Froch, it was “the best ever punch I’ve thrown in my life”….and boy did I shout out loud in relief afterwards. It was a great sporting occasion and one where Sachin Nakrani in The Guardian quite rightly stated, “proof that this most brutal of sports retains the capacity to captivate the masses”. 4/5.

LAW AND ORDER UK(ITV1).

‘INSPECTOR MORSE THIS AIN’T’!

I watched this two or three times this year and each time I came to damning conclusion that it’s a load of GARBAGE! I’ve just read a review about it on Digital Spy where it’s ‘crime-over-character’ format is praised. One of the stars of it Ben Bailey Smith furthermore sees this aspect of it as a positive too. It refers to lack of continued stories over episodes, and them showing stand alone stories that you can dip in and out of in our busy lives.  This is what I HATED about it however and the seemingly very disjointed nature of it. The show lacks coherency in my opinion. I was fed up of it jumping about, repeated flashing captions on the screen of the date and time . I felt a disconnect towards the characters and so this meant I didn’t care about any of them. It didn’t draw me in and I struggled many times maintain a suspension of disbelief(forget it wasn’t actors just ‘acting’).  It felt like this was a crime detective show written in bullet points rather than continued flowing prose. I love Bradley Walsh fronting The Chase quiz show, but I just didn’t find him believable playing DS Ronnie Brooks in this. Worst and more irritating still was his new young sidekick DS Joe Hawkins(played by the aforementioned Ben Bailey Smith). The character was too eager and irritating and looked better suited being a children’s TV presenter rather than a crime fighter. If Ben Bailey Smith looks like a Copper than I look like a ballerina……….and take my word for it I DON’T ha! Harsh, but this is one of the worse things I have sat down and watched this year, not for me! 1/5.

THE WIDOWER(ITV1).

A DISTURBING TRUE STORY THAT KEEPS YOU WATCHING RIGHT TIL THE END!

This three part drama tells the true story of real-life murderer Malcolm Webster(played by Reece Shearsmith. He sets about poisoning and murdering his first wife(played by Sheridan Smith), attempts to do the same to his second wife(Kate Fleetwood), and moves on to try and deceive his third wife(Archie Panjabi) over several things. I should point out claiming life insurance and so benefiting financially was his motive for such behaviour.  One thing I distinctly remembering him doing with his third wife(not his wife then I don’t think), was to make up he had leukaemia. The image of Shearsmith shaving his head and staring directly down the lens of the camera was an extemely striking and real menacing site to witness.

All in all I thought this was a really engaging watch and was a bit surprised when I read a few negative press reviews of it slagging off the writing/script. I guess I fell into the trap of taking everything at face value that I watched, didn’t approach it critically enough due to the, ‘it’s a true story’ tagline. The argument by Lucy Mangan in The Guardian is that the dialogue was too weak, along with the depiction of his first wife Claire being unconvincing. I must admit I never thought about such things but in hindsight I can see where she is coming from. That said, I think Reece Shearsmith gives a brilliant performance as Malcolm Webster. Physically he does not appear threatening whatsoever, he appears somewhat meek and mild, all of which makes his criminal actions and deceits seem all the more unsettling.

A good watch in my opinion. 4/5.

LONG LOST FAMILY – SERIES 4 (ITV1).

‘MAKES ME CRY LIKE A BABY EVERY TIME I WATCH THIS’!

When a programme makes you cry every time you watch it(happy tears I mean), then you know you must be enjoying it. This is what happens to me every time I watch Long Lost Family, it gets me going every time and I just can’t help it. I can remember watching the TV BAFTAs this year and when Long Lost Family won one I moaned and scoffed because I’d had never seen it up to that point. I’m not sure why I hadn’t seen any of the first three series, probably due to my instant dislike for ITV(partly due to Simon Cowell and Jeremy Kyle). I’m therefore not quite sure how I came to watch it this year. It must have been by accident somehow but am I so pleased I did. I am now completely hooked, it is one of the best things on the telly in my view.

Just in case there are any aliens out there reading this review who have not got a clue what it is about, then let me explain by saying it’s about reuniting families. It focuses on on two stories a week where one could be say an adopted child(now adult) searching for their biological Mother and family. Alternately, Mothers who gave up their child for adoption years earlier and want to be reunited with their child are often featured.  The back stories about how the separation occurred are always really interesting and profoundly moving. The stories about these people draw you in, you come to care for them. The climax of them then being reunited is just brilliant television. Yes, it might be a bit soppy for some I guess and I dare say the producers are high fiving whenever they see tears on screen, but I don’t care to be honest because seeing human happiness is a lovely thing to see.  As Sam Woollaston in The Guardian  stated, “It’s so moving because it’s real, and it’s about separation and hurt, guilt and regret, growing up, identity, belonging, family, love, life. Now I’m blubbing like a baby”. 5/5.

PREY(ITV1).

‘AFTER BEING IN FULL FLIGHT, THIS BIRD OF PREY HAD A CRASH LANDING’!

As the trailer for this at the time was being shown around the clock non-stop, I therefore had big expectations as I sat down to watch the first part of this three part crime drama.  Instantly it drew me in and I thought the first two parts made for cracking, pulsating viewing. In the locality of Manchester(which being a Mancunian I loved), we see a Copper in the form of DS Marcus Farrow(played by John Simms) escape from a prison van after being wrongly charged with the murder of his wife and one of his sons. We go back in time and are shown the events that lead up to this run for freedom. He then sets on trying to prove his innocence which is tricky because those who he thinks are his allies, indeed turn out to be the ones trying to frame him. A major figure here is his boss DCI Andrea Mckenzie(played by the gorgeous Anastasia Hille).

The first two episodes were really enjoyable to watch but the final part was a big let down in my opinion. I later asked my sister her views about it(cos I know she’d been watching it) and she agreed with me that the ending was weak. The third part felt rushed to me. It tried tying up all the loose end in about fifteen minutes when I think a slower pace and fourth part would have been better. I know it was a fast paced from the start and that was part of its initial appeal I accept, however it was going faster than Linford Christie by the end and thus led to its detriment. The plot towards the end seemed somewhat corny, convoluted and difficult to follow. I also found Anastasia Hille’s character unconvincing in this crucial concluding part.

It started off great but the ending let it down, shame! 3.5/5 

WOULD I LIE TO YOU?(BBC1).

‘A PANEL SHOW THAT REALLY MAKES ME LAUGH’!

Chaired by Rob Brydon and two teams captained by comedians Robert Mitchell and Lee Mack, this is sort of like a confessional, funny game of Call My Bluff. Various confessions/revelations are told by panel members and the other team has to guess if it’s a ‘truth or lie’? The most amusing bit for me is when they play the round of ‘the mystery person’. Here a team has to guess which panelist on the opposing team knows this person, via three explanations given to them by each opposing team member….it’s much funnier than it sounds trust me ha. Lee Mack is the star of the show for me, particularity when he gets given totally implausible things to say and try and make the other team believe. Bob Mortimer has been the guest/team member of the series so far in my opinion. He had some hilarious and truthful anecdotes to share on the show. I agree with what Sam Woollaston wrote about it in The Guardian this year. He comments how clearly it comes across that the guests on the show are having an enjoyable time. He adds further, “It’s a friendly show, more about joy than cruelty or humiliation”. 4/5.

OUR GIRL(BBC1).

‘ABOUT AS BELIEVABLE AS THE TOOTH FAIRY’!

I’ll cut to the chase and say right away how flawed I think this drama was on sooooooooo many levels. To be more crude I’ll say at times I sat there watching it, laughing to myself at what garbage it was. I gave up after episode two, missed episode three, but for some reason then ended up watching the last two episodes. I blame it on me being an old romantic at heart. I’ll begrudgingly admit regardless of my criticisms, I wanted to see our Army Medic Molly Dawes(played by Lacey Turner) wander off into the sunset happily ever after with Captain Charles James(played by Ben Aldridge).  Back to being critical though, this army drama was full of stereotypes, clichés, ropey acting and poor writing.  I came away believing I could have written something better given a twelve script writing course, modesty has never been my strongest point ha ha ha.

Right, first the clichés and stereotypes then.  We had posh middle class Captain James, who spoke like he’d just come straight from studying at Eton. We had the rowdy ‘wacky’ banter from the soldiers which was completely over the top and seemed forced. I was pleased to read Rupert Hawksley in The Telegraph agree with me about this. He said, “the testosterone-fulled ‘banter’ between the young soldiers lacking any authenticity or spontaneity “. There was also this awful stereotypical Afghan Army member who looked about as appealing on the eye as E.T, and who was troubled by Molly Dawes female presence there. ie not thinking women should do just jobs or roles.  Some of dialogue between Molly and this nasty Afghan dude was really cringe worthy to listen too. When she mouthed off about him later to Captain James, it sounded like she was in the playground rather than at the theatre of war. Another cringe worthy dialogue moment to note was when a separate Afghan soldier quizzed a Man United supporting squaddie from Manchester, asking if he was indeed a Liverpool fan( that he or came from Liverpool, can’t quite exactly remember which for definite)?  The soldier(played by Sean Ward) duly muttered some unconvincing annoyance back at him and I think we were supposed to find this funny. It was the old Manchester vs Liverpool sort of joke. I just remembering grimacing when it had been said.

I agree with Ellen E Jones in The Independent that the show was too much about Lacey Turner. We see her being sent to Afghanistan on her first deployment which is fine, but the writer turned her into some kind of over the top, life saving heroine type of character . In episode one she saves the life of a wounded soldier after nearly crippling herself via  landmine explosion. That was a bit far fetched but in episode five when she is the one who saves the day by shooting dead a gun raging Taliban member, then it did seem about as corny as a bag of Kellogg’s Cornflakes. Speaking of unrealism and believe me there was plenty, I have to comment on the ANNOYING OBSESSION the Molly Dawes character had with a young Afghan girl called Bashira. This element of the drama DROVE ME AROUND THE RUDDY BEND! Molly first comes across Bashira on a routine patrol her squadron do. She gives her a pen as an act of goodwill towards the local population. She then comes across her again out on another patrol and then suddenly for some reason Molly becomes entangled and obsessed with her. Throughout the rest of the series then Molly is constantly whimpering and worrying about the fate of this little girl. Molly even is still going on about Bashira and her safety when she returns home after her first deployment is over. There seemed to be two running stories throughout  the series, her love triangle with Captain James and her pal soldier Smurf(played by Iwan Rheon)and THIS BLOODY BORING UNREALISTIC ONE ABOUT BASHIRA. I could be wrong because I’ve never served in any of the Armed Forces, but I just do not believe a highly trained army professional in real life would have acted like this. I don’t believe in a real army medic would allow themselves to get so emotionally involved with a random girl they spotted on patrol missions a few times. Also, Molly is there supposedly seeing the awful sites of war and all the psychological trauma that this brings, yet here she is seemingly more affected about the fate of this one girl, who weeks previously she had never known. It just did not make sense why Molly became so obsessed with her. This obsession culminated in me then witnessing one of the most unrealistic things I think I’ve ever witnessed in a British TV drama. Molly rings up an Afghan soldier friend of hers and with his help he locates where Bashira is(at some safe coalition location/school). When she goes back to do more service out in Afghanistan she forces this friend to tell her exactly where Bashira is. We then see this ridiculous sequence where to gain entry to see Bashira, Lacey Turner impersonates BADLY being an Afghan wife. I’ve seen some unrealistic things in my time but Lacey Turner dressed up in a yellow burka pretending to an Afghan wife is right up there……..deary me. I was right with this last episode which predominantly focused on the love story between her and Captain James, then this segment on the Bashira storyline goes and stretches the realms of realism that bit too far………….AGAIN!

It was not all bad though I guess. The love story however unrealistic that too might have been, I did enjoy watching. I’m pleased there was a happy ending for Molly Dawes and Captain James. The soundtrack was the best thing of it too, loving the band London Grammar now as a result. I just wish the writing and acting in this drama could have been so much better. 2.5/5

 STELLA(SKY1).

‘THIS THIRD PINT OF STELLA TASTED A BIT FLAT’!

After loving the first two series of this, I’m afraid to say this third one was a bit of a let down to be honest. Yes it still made for easy enjoyable viewing in the cold winter months and wasn’t terrible, however it’s just didn’t enthral me that much.  Part of the reason for this was due to some of the developed stories in the first two series coming to a natural conclusion by the end of series two. Therefore, new stories and plot had to be created and some of these new ones in series three weren’t that great in my view. We also partly as a consequence of this, had major changes in the cast in series three. Stella’s brother and sister-in-law(played by Owen Teale and Elizabeth Berrington) who brought great comedy to the show, were completely missing and I think this was very detrimental to the show. Stella loony ex-husband Karl Morris only appeared towards the end of the series and again I think the show missed the humour this character brings. As a result I think his wife in the show Nadine(played by Karen Paullada), was a bit sidelined in series 3. Her role in this series was to be the organiser of a dieting club. To me it just smacked of needing to find a role for this character otherwise she’s stuffed. I didn’t find this ‘slimming club’ element of the show particularly funny or original either. Sean(played by Kenny Doughty)  the likeable ex boyfriend was nowhere to be seen, neither was her first love Rob Morgan(played by Mark Lewis Jones) or Stella’s adulterous son-in-law Sunil(played by Rory Girvan). Some of the new characters worked but others didn’t. I loved the addition of Celia(played by Emma Rydal) but hated Aunty Brenda’s ‘hippy’ daughter Vivienne. I just didn’t find this ‘new age’ character funny, when I think we were supposed too. This also applies to Stella’s new Nurse Tutor. I found her amusing at the start but by the end of the series she was starting to really grate on me.

The main premise/plot for series three was Stella getting a new neighbour next door, in the form of solicitor Michael Jackson(played by Patrick Baladi).  I found this story of them not getting on and then getting on and becoming a couple, a bit unoriginal and formulaic if I’m honest. I could see it coming a mile off and so it all felt a bit predictable. Nevertheless, I was guilty of hoping that this couple had a happy ending by the end of the series….the old romantic in me rises to the surface again ha. I also thought the story around Stella’s daughter Emma(played by Catrin Stewart), was pretty weak and uninspiring. Basically she gets a job at a hairdressers and has it off with her boss Marcus Jensen(played by James Thornton). I’m sure James Thornton is a nice guy in real life but as an actor and voice over man he does my head in. I don’t think he’s a great actor and I’m fed up of hearing him do the voice over to trailers on SKY….wanted to rant about his annoying voice all year ha ha. I did however love Big Al(played by the brilliant Steve Speirs) finally find love in the form of Celia. Their romance was beautifully written and I thought they had great chemistry together on screen. The bit where Big Al gets in a state about taking Celia back to his house after a night out (because it’s been awhile since he last did it and how could anybody fancy him), I found this really moving and endearing to watch. For me, Steve Speirs remains the best thing the programme. I find his character very funny and it was good to see this more vulnerable side to him.

Summing up then, I didn’t hate this third series of Stella but I wasn’t bowled over by it either. As I said at the start, it was like having a nice beer(series one and two), which had sadly now gone a bit flat(series three). 3/5.

BUMBLE! THE DAVID LLOYD STORY(SKY SPORTS ORIGINALS).

‘DAFT AS A BRUSH, JUST LIKE ME’!

If you love cricket, David Lloyd(aka Bumble), and are a proud Lancastrian like me, then you will enjoy this cricket documentary about his life immensely. You could just like one of these things and you’ll also love it. With great interviews, anecdotes and archive footage, we are taken through the progression of his entire career in cricket. We hear how he started out at Accrington Cricket Club, what it meant to play for Lancashire, and how his playing and coaching career with England went. The now infamous “we flippin murdered em” line, he reportedly used when England Coach after a Test Match once is amusingly commented on.  The funniest line was when he is seen talking on an old Australian chat show, discussing what he said to the Aussie fielders during an Ashes Test Match after being struck in the ‘unmentionables’ by fast bowler Jeff Thomson. I think I replayed the punchline to this joke about ten times and still found it funny every time ha ha. I also loved the regular comments about him from Nasser Hussain and Michael Atherton. Both played under Bumble as players and now work alongside him in the Sky commentary box. They speak in warm glowing terms about Bumble and it comes across as entirely genuine. Nasser in a Sky interview about the documentary said, “He’s great fun and a great guy, and thoroughly professional with it too.  He’s one of the best broadcasters in the world in my opinion”.

I enjoyed this programme that much I could have watched at least another thirty minutes of it. A really good watch in my opinion about a greatly loved sports broadcaster. 4/5.

COMMON(BBC1).

‘ANOTHER THOUGHT PROVOKING MASTERPIECE FROM MCGOVERN’!

If you are a big fan of the writer Jimmy McGovern like I am then you will also highly regard this drama too. This one-off ninety minute drama focused solely around the controversial law of Joint Enterprise/Common Purpose, is extremely thought provoking, political, and profoundly moving.  Set in a northern working-class town, the lead character Johnjo O’Shea(brilliantly played by Nico Mirallegro) who is this naive timid lad, borrows his older brother’s car and takes some friends to get a pizza. Unbeknowns to Johnjo(who waits outside in the car) this is a cover story by his older mates because really they want to get to this pizza place to confront a rival gang member who is there.  A innocent bystander in the shop gets caught up in the melee and is fatally stabbed by one of his mates.

The rest of the drama therefore focuses on the fall out of the murder. After all the boys are subsequently arrested we are then confronted by this law of Social Enterprise. McGovern strongly paints this is a law that discriminates against the working-classes. A law that is seemingly unjust because Johnjo is thus implicated in a murder he knew nothing prior about or had any direct involvement with. As the character Shelagh(played by Michelle Fairley) frantically shouts at Johnjo’s Mother(played by Jodhi May), “this is about getting working-class scum off our streets”. The raw emotion of grief is another aspect that the drama deals with superbly. We have the grieving Mother of the boy who was stabbed(played excellently by Susan Lynch) and the grieving Mother of Johnjo, who has lost her son to time inside prison. The best scene perhaps is at the end when we see these two grieving Mothers embrace. This is an emotive story where there no winners, only losers sadly.

To conclude then, I really thought this was a great watch and McGovern remains one of our best television drama writers in my view. It is a heavy watch and there weren’t any laughs in it but I came away feeling slightly empowered by it. Empowered because I know knew more about the world than I had before watching. I came away feeling more politicised, pleased I had spent the last ninety minutes watching this programme. 4.5/5.

DANCING ON ICE -SERIES 9 ALL-STARS(ITV1).

‘THE ICE FINALLY MELTS ON DANCING ON ICE AND THUS IS NO MORE……………..HOORAY’!

After running for eight years, ITV decided this would be the last year we would see this poor relation to Strictly Come Dancing aired. Torvill and Dean might have been crying at this news but when I heard this news I was positively overjoyed. For me, it was fun to watch at first but as time has wore on it just got very boring and bland. It has never had the calibre of celebrities on it that Strictly had. Compared to Strictly, the whole spectacle just seemed less impressive somehow, less exciting even. If I was to use a supermarket analogy then I’d see Strictly as being more Waitrose, to the ASDA or even ALDI that is Dancing On Ice. It became a chore to watch it and I for one am pleased it has come to an end.

To celebrate it’s final year ex-champions and a selection of other former contestants were invited back on to the show. There was the mix of great skaters such as Ray Quinn and Beth Tweddle, together with the so called’ funny acts’ in the form of Todd Carty and Joe Pasquale.  The show dragged on again in my opinion. The presenters really got on my nerves in the form of Phillip Schofield and Christine Bleakley. Schofield can’t do comedy and so his attempts at humour really made me cringe.  Furthermore, his voice doing the voice overs on the VT clips which went up and down more than a rollercoaster at Alton Towers…..DROVE ME AROUND THE BEND ha ha. Regarding Bleakley, I just can’t bear her. After her breakfast show stint went tits-up, it smacked of ITV needing to justify her wage by having her on there replacing the much more likeable Holly Willoughby. The constant adverts wound me up too and don’t get me even started on the judges.  Judge Jason Gardiner was/is a complete abomination, a man only his Mother could like I fear. Whereas Craig Revel Horwood makes me laugh on Strictly, this guy lacked this. He became almost a caricature of ‘a nasty judge’, with no redeeming features either.

In the end then, the somewhat irritating Ray Quinn deservedly won the final series of Dancing On Ice .  It did have a place once upon a time in the TV schedules however like I have said,  I agree with it now being axed. Television moves on and I look forward to a January that is now FINALLY Dancing On Ice free.2/5.

GRANTCHESTER(ITV1)

‘A DETECTIVE VICAR WHO WAS MORE BURGER KING THAN MISS MARPLE’!

I need to be honest from the off and say I’m reviewing this show/series having only seen the first episode.  I gave up after seeing the first one, due to it failing to win me over and get me hooked. I didn’t find this first episode abhorrent or anything, I just found it a bit bland, the plot a bit rushed.

It’s set in the 1950s, in a rural village near Cambrigeshire. Vicar Sidney Chambers(played by the brilliant actor James Norton) is a kind of amateur detective, and in this first episode is involved in trying to work out if a man did indeed commit suicide or whether he was murdered instead. He’s partner in crime so to speak in trying to sort this out, is over worked Detective Inspector George Keating(played by Robson Green). This episode was perfectly watchable and up to a point I was enjoying it.  The settings were very picturesque, I liked the old fashioned feel to it too. The script however let it down. Too many ad breaks punctured the intrigue and the case was solved before I could really get my teeth into it. It was like eating a fast food meal, over too quickly and left you feeling little under nourished afterwards. I don’t mean by this that I crave drawn out detective dramas that don’t get on with it and are a torture to watch, but the plot resolution here was achieved far too quickly. One minute we see him get approached by a woman claiming it was not a suicide, then the next minute we see him almost magically solve the mystery….Paul Daniels would have struggled to keep up with this kid I’m telling you ha ha.  I have a problem in general with television crime dramas that try and do everything within an just hour(well 45mins with adverts). I’m also not sure whether I found his Army flashbacks that convincing either, all bit too theatrical for me. Robson Green was OK as the Copper however I would not have cast him in such a role.

To conclude then, all over a bit too quickly for me and it didn’t leave me dying to watch episode two………so I never did! 2.5/5.

RINGSIDE(SKY SPORTS).

‘LANDS A KNOCK-OUT BLOW ALMOST EVERY TIME’!

Presented by former ex Cruiserweight Champion of the World Johnny Nelson and Head of Sky Sports Boxing Adam Smith, this is the best boxing magazine show on the telly in my opinion. They recap the weekend just gone in the world of boxing and preview upcoming events. It does a great job in helping to promote and build up big upcoming fights. For example, the highlight this year was having George Groves and Carl Froch come on together for a lively debate about their then, upcoming rematch. Last week there was a similar spectacle which brought together arch rivals Tony Bellew and Nathan Cleverly. With you fearing any minute it might actually ‘kick off’ if the right buttons were pressed, it really did make for compulsive viewing. They also have a great selection of boxing personalities come on every week and give their opinions about what is happening in boxing right now. I also like a feature they do periodically on ex boxers who hit hard times immediately after finishing boxing, but who are now making a success of things in their lives once again. Ex boxer Jaime Moore is great conducting such interviews, was profoundly moved by one such story once.

A great show for a big boxing fan like myself. 3.5/5.

THE GREAT BRITISH BAKE OFF(BBC1).

‘I DO LOVE A SOGGY BOTTOM, DO YOU’?

The best cooking show on television and the record audiences it had this year proves I am not alone thinking this. This year it moved to BBC1 from BBC2 and a staggering audience of 12.3 million watched the final. It had a five minute peak 13.3 million viewers and is on course to be the most watched programme in 2014. The winner was a Sixty year old former GP Surgery Manager called Nancy from Lincolnshire, beating the big favourite Richard to the much coveted prize.

The key thing that make this programme work in my opinion is that it is so quintessentially English. Although the funny food innuendos make us laugh(apart from the Daily Mail readers is seems, argh), it has this very English prim and proper quality to it. The theme music has a jolly jingle bell feel to it and the title sequence ends showing us a cake covered in icing sugar. The idyllic rural setting in Welford Park, Berkshire, gives us this romanticised view of an England that is ever decreasing today sadly. It gives the programme an air of welcome English nostalgia, it furthermore gives it a touch of class. Female judge Mary Berry exudes Englishess. She has great English style, grace, and diction.  As with that very English game of cricket, the Bake Off is contested with an air of grace and fair play to it. When this ‘fair play’ ideal was messed in this series, the audience came out screaming. In episode four we had ”BINGATE” and involved or seemingly involved, one of the contestants removing somebody else’s ice cream from the freezer. Iain’s ice cream thus melted and in frustration he threw his whole dish into the bin. Diana was guilty of espionage it seemed and can you believe more than 800 complaints were made about this….GET A LIFE, one is tempted to say! As Julia Raeside in The Guardian stated, “somewhere in a landfill a binned baked alaska festers in a plastic bag, unaware of its brief moment at the centre of the universe”. Diana mysteriously quit the show straight after due to a said ‘health condition’, and so this English sense of order and of fair play was quickly restored. As a nation that loves to root for the underdog a victory for Richard would just not have gone down as well, or befitted this sense of Englishess as much.

There isn’t much to moan about, apart from me saying I thought it did drag on a bit towards the end this series. I could have done with say two episodes less. It has a very successful format no doubt, I just found it a bit samey as is it neared towards the final. I also lost a bit of interest in it when my favourite contestant, the lovely sweet Martha got eliminated. These are only very small gripes however. It’s a great family show(regardless of what the nasty Daily Mail now says) and I’m already looking forward to watching  series 6 in 2015. 4/5.

CORONATION STREET(ITV1).

‘IF YOU’RE A MANCUNIAN LIKE ME THEN YOU LOVE CORRIE, IT’S AS SIMPLE AS THAT’!

As a boy from Manchester, at the age three my Dad gave me my first pint of Boddingtons Bitter to sup.   Mum on the other hand forced me to watch Coronation Street instead of cartoons…..HONEST! Ha ha OK hands up, maybe none of those things ever actually happened but Coronation Street has always seemed to be a part of my life. I’ve grown up with it always being on. Now when I watch it, I do with a certain amount of pride. I’m proud that millions of people tune in every week to be enthralled by a Soap Opera that comes from my home town of Manchester.  To me, it’s the best soap Opera on British television…..and it’s the ONLY one I watch I should add, so it has be ha ha. I can’t be doing with all that cockney cobblers on Eastenders, all that jellied eels and Knees Up Mother Brown bollocks………YUCK, YUCK, YUCK. On a serious note, for me Eastenders lacks the charm that Corrie has. Corrie can make you laugh out loud one night, then move you to tears the next. Eastenders can’t do this and neither can any other British Soap Opera for that matter. Corrie is special to me and in 2014 this soap certainly did not disappoint.

The first storyline in 2014 that I would like applaud and comment on, was the one featuring the Windass family. This was where the boyfriend of Anna Windass(played by Debbie Rush), Owen Armstrong(played by Ian Puleston-Davies), decided to go into a property venture with dodgy geezer Pat Phelan(played by Connor McIntyre).  As a result of Phelan coming on to Anna, her son Gary(played by Mikey North) found out and he ended up assaulting him and potentially leaving him for dead. Phelan survived however and then proceeds to blackmail Owen, with the CCTV footage he has of Gary attacking him. He uses this as a way to ruin Owen financially, leaving Owen broke. Anna in a bid solve the crisis then sleeps with Phelan…think of it as a more uglier version of that Hollywood film, Indecent Proposal ha ha. In the aftermath, we saw the financial and emotional strain this took on Owen and Anna’s realtionship. As a character who has always been dead tough and took no messing, it was great to see this more vulnerable side of the actor Ian Puleston-Davies. I thought he was the stand out performer in this storyline, though many will no doubt see this as Debbie Rush.

A major storyline just about nearing it’s conclusion now is the one that started with Tina McIntyre(played by Michelle Keegan) having it off with Peter Barlow(played by Chris Gascoyne), only then for somebody to murder her, and then for this attacker to finally get caught…namely Rob Donovan(played by Marc Baylis). You could argue this storyline went on forever but it did make for some compulsive viewing along the way. Chris Gascoyne in particular needs a mention here for his great acting as Peter.

The best storyline featured in Corrie this year though was the suicide of terminally ill cancer sufferer Hayley Cropper(played by Juile Hesmondhalgh). Some of the performances that Julie and David Neilsen(who played her husband Roy) gave, were some of the finest and most moving I think I’ve ever witnessed in a Soap Opera. The writing was was also magnificent, especially the episodes that showed and dealt her passing away. Ben Lawrence writing in The Telegraph described how these final episodes were, “something special”. Likewise Lucy Mangan in The Guardian said the two episodes were “finely scripted” and featured “some of the best performances the cobbles have ever seen”. The subject which is still a rather taboo subject in society was handled superbly by the writers. It didn’t seek to glamorise assisted dying which would have been wrong, rather the show allowed for debate in the mainstream media. We had Hayley on the one hand who wanted to die on her own terms, no longer wanting to be the victim to this cruel illness. Roy offered the other perspective, desperate for his dearly loved wife to live for as long as she could.  It displayed just what an important function Soap Operas can have in our society.

I remain a big Corrie fan and look forward to many more nights watching it in 2015.4/5.

TRYING AGAIN(SKY LIVING).

‘RATHER TRYING TO WATCH IN PLACES’!

Nic Wright on the GIGGLE BEATS website gives a rather damning review of this series, and says the best thing you can say about it is that it was ‘nice’. Wright refers to it being unoriginal, having dull characters, and it ultimately it just not being funny enough. I agree with all this and was happy when I read such a review. It was created and written by Chris Addison(IIn The Thick of It, Direct Line ads)and In The Thick of It writer Simon Blackwell. Staring Chris Addison(as Matt) and Jo Joyner(as Meg), it follows the lives of a couple who are trying to mend their relationship after Meg slept with her boss at work. I must admit I did find the first episode OK, however by the end of episode three I was getting a bit bored by it. It was perfectly watchable, I just expected bigger things from it given all the trailers there had been for it on SKY.  I thought the Relationship Counselling sessions were funnyish (the Counsellor played by Katherine Jakeways), but Matt’s ‘funny’ mate at work Sam (played Alun Cochrane) , wasn’t funny and really got on my nerves. I got to episode three or four and then gave up, also partly due to Virgin Media delaying putting the next episode up on SKY ON DEMAND for ages. I somehow got behind with it and never got round to watching the rest of it….I ended up just losing interest. Jo Joyner was by far the best thing in it and remains a brilliant telly actress. I found out yesterday that in October of this year Sky released a statement saying that this programme WILL NOT be coming back for a second series. By the end of the series it’s audience had halved to only 137,000, so not surprising really.

Failed to live up to my high expectations 2.5/5.

TOMMY COOPER : NOT LIKE THAT, LIKE THIS(ITV1).

‘A FLAWED COMEDIC GENIUS!

Being born in 1976 I can just about remember legendary comedian Tommy Copper.   I can just about remember hearing about his shocking death in 1984, shocking because he had a massive heart attack whilst performing live at the London Palladium in front of millions watching on TV.  Alongside Eric Morecambe, Cooper is up there with the best comedians to have ever lived in my view. Not everybody’s cup of tea with his daft slapstick jokes I grant you but a comedic genius nonetheless to me.

This biopic depicted his life when he was in his late 40s, when his showbiz career is booming yet he is a tortured soul with many personal problems. For example, he’s racked with stage fright, begins to drink heavily, and starts an seventeen year affair with a TV girl called Mary Kay(played by Helen McCrory). Actor David Threlfall is magnificent in the role as Tommy Cooper, the comedy he impersonates is very close to the real thing. Amanda Redman also gives a strong performance as his strong battle hardened wife Gwen ‘Dove’ Cooper. It’s strange because as you watch Tommy have this affair, not once did  become disapproving of him. I also find domestic abuse disgraceful yet when the drama alluded to Cooper hitting Mary, I felt sadness rather than anger towards him. This also applies to us seeing him seemingly drink and smoke himself to death, he was a heart attack waiting to happen. The fatal scene where he did indeed have a heart attack was very movingly portrayed by Threlfall. It left me with this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.  I didn’t want this scene to ever take place though even though I knew it was  coming. Instead of this happening I wanted this the big lovable buffoon to have been able to buffoon about for many more years. Up to this point the script wasn’t very hard hitting or profound in any way but his death indeed was.

On the negative side not everybody liked this bio-opic and I refer in particular to Cooper’s daughter Vicky.  She blasted the filmmakers for inaccuracies saying her father “would turn in his grave”. The writer Simon Nye defended this however by quoting Mary and her son saying, “the violence was on record”. From my perspective, I would have liked to seen a bit more about the younger Tommy Cooper. Why did he become a comedian, why was the Fez hat his famous prop, why did this larger than life character suffer so badly with stage fright? For any fan of his though it was a entertaining watch, albeit very sad one at the end. The script like I say could have been a bit more meaty but it was definitely worth watching. David Threlfall’s great performance alone was reason enough to have watched it. Unlike today with many performers, it harked back to a pleasanter time when comedy wasn’t all about vulgarity. Tommy Cooper was funny because he just simply had ‘FUNNY BONES’ AND I FOR ONE SALUTE YOU SIR! 3.5/5.

TUMBLE(BBC1) .

‘WATCHING THE TUMBLE DRYER SEEMS MORE APPEALING THAN WATCHING A SECOND SERIES OF THIS’.

OK then lets cut to chase here regarding what I thought of this new programme on the Beeb this Summer. I found the presenter Alex Jones irritating, the judges which included Team GB gymnast Louis Smith very over-the-top, and the celebrities annoyingly acting like overly cheerful kids TV presenters. Have you guessed by now that I wasn’t that big a fan of it ha ha? This seemingly was the BBC’s  gymnastics version of ITV’s Splash(where C-list celebrities have a diving contest). Over the course of a few weeks ten ‘so called’ celebrities were given gymnastic and acrobatic challenges and in true Reality TV fashion, a winner was declared at the end of it.  Now to be honest I only tuned into this because I’d heard the boxer Carl Froch was being in it. I found his bits quite interesting to watch but until he was on I had my finger hard pressed on the fast-forward button. Now if I was a hormonal twelve year old girl then I may have loved this show, but I’m not, I’m a thirty-seven year old bloke who felt it was being aimed at a much younger audience. My knees didn’t wobble at watching young heartthrob Bobby Lockwood doing a handstand,  H from Steps doing the splits still with that silly childlike grin on his face didn’t float my boat either, and Oh God bless her but Sarah Harding from Girls Aloud looked to be a few short of a full deck. If Carl Froch had deservedly won like he should have done then I could have been tempted to overlook the failings of this show. As it was and as I feared from very early on, the bloody pubescent audience voted Bobby Lockwood as the winner ARGH ARGH ARGH! Happy knockabout Saturday night kids TV I guess but at this precise moment doing the TUMBLE drying seems more appealing than watching series two! 2/5. 

RYAN GIGGS : A UNITED LIFE(SKY SPORTS ORIGINALS).

‘I WANT A HAIRY CHEST LIKE RYAN GIGGS’!

I think it’s safe to say that if you’re a Man City or Liverpool FC fan then this documentary probably isn’t for you. However, if you’re a big Manchester United fan like me then you’ll happily lap this up with apparent ease. Yes, I strongly disapprove of his past ‘extra curricular’ activities should we say, but there is no doubting he is one of the finest players to have ever graced the playing turf  at ‘The Theatre of Dreams’. As sporting documentaries go though, I have seen better. I just remember it being a highlights package of all his goals for United, not many insightful interviews from past players……in fact I don’t think there was any. Therefore, the constant goal highlights did get a touch monotonous to watch after awhile. For this reason alone I found the ITV documentary on him entitled The Life of Ryan : Caretaker Manager, where it focused more on the present day a lot more interesting. That said it was enjoyable to look back at some of the greatest goals he scored throughout his United career. The greatest being that unbelievable goal he scored in the 1999 FA Cup semi-final against Arsenal, very late in extra-time. He’s been much mocked for his wild celebrations after the goal due to him taking his shirt off and revealing a mass of chest hair. I’d say to him, ‘don’t be embarrassed Giggsy my old mate…..if only I had such a hairy chest like that, well then I’d be able to cut some of it off and put it on my bald head(always very resourceful me) ha ha. 3/5. 

THE ANTIQUES ROADSHOW(BBC1).

‘I’M COMING OUT, TIME TO FINALLY REVEAL I’M…………….A FAN OF THE ANTIQUES ROADSHOW’!

Now for the fit women amongst you reading this, please don’t cross me off the list after I somewhat meekly reveal I rather like this programme. Please first give me the chance ladies to explain why I like it, then you can cross me off if you still have too ha ha. Years ago I had absolute no interest in this programme. This show bored the living daylights out of me and this is how I viewed it this year when it happened to come once after the Strictly Results Show. Then something very strange happened everybody. As this edition of The Antiques Roadshow was playing I started not to mind it, enjoy it even dare I say. I thought afterwards maybe the reason I enjoyed it could have been due to some strange behaviour with the planets, BUT NO, THE WEEK AFTERWARDS I ENJOYED IT AGAIN!! The third week I enjoyed I then knew had to admit it to myself that I did like this programme afterall. They say ‘COMING OUT’ is never easy but finally I did pluck up enough courage to admit this to my Mum……..that I like THE ANTIQUES ROADSHOW. Even now just writing it still feels a bit weird, I used to be such a hip trendsetter too ha ha. Now instead of listening to Radio One, going out boozing and not wearing slippers, I’ve started listening to Radio Four, would rather drink a cup of dandelion coffee, and LOVE WEARING SLIPPERS A COMFY PAIR OF SLIPPERS AS I WATCH THE BLOODY ANTIQUES ROADSHOW……………….WHATZ HAPPENING TO ME???? Growing older is the answer, ARGH!

Being serious now, I think many of the reasons I enjoy it are linked to the ones I listed about The Great British Bake Off. It’s a very nostalgic show, very English(the settings partly), it’s got cultural history at its roots. I do find the valuing of the antiques fun to watch, especially if the person who brought it wasn’t expecting it to be so high. Conversely, I also love it when they’re told a lower figure than they expected, they try to mask their disappointments but you can still tell. What I find most interesting however, is when the history of the antiques are dicussed. For example, what era and nations they are from, as well as information about the person who made it. I also think Fiona Bruce does a great job presenting it.

Never in my wildest dreams did I think one day I would write in a blog how I like The Antiques Roadshow. Nevertheless I do, BUT I’M DRAWING THE LINE AT THE SOUTH BANK SHOW……..trust me, I hope! 3.5/5.

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?(BBC1).

‘I’LL TELL YOU WHO YOU ARE, A BLOODY BORING TV PROGRAMME THAT’S WHO’!

To my great misfortune I happened to be in the room when this was on three times this year, the celebrities being Julie Walters, Brendan O’Carroll and Sheridan Smith. For those who have been on planet Mars for the last ten years since this has been on TV and don’t know what it’s about, it’s a genealogy documentary series where celebrities go on a journey to trace his or her family tree.

The main issue I have with this show is that I don’t care about my own family tree, therefore watching somebody else who I don’t know go on about theirs is MIND NUMBINGLY BORING. I was watching one of them this series and a very distant relative had been sent to jail. The celebrity in question was getting into a state about this and I’m sat there thinking, I DON’T GIVE A RAT’S TIT IF THEY’VE BEEN TO JAIL OR NOT FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. Then you get these historians nearly frothing at the mouth at some exciting news they have to enlighten the celebrity with..trust me the news is NEVER EXCITING. The celebrities can’t thank then them enough though, and all the time I’m still sat there thinking why I should I care? It doesn’t relate history of the past to the here and now that Long Lost Family draws you in with.

Sorry to people who like it but I just don’t get this programme.1/5.

FROM THERE TO HERE(BBC1).

‘A MANCHESTER BASED DRAMA THAT WAS A LET DOWN……..BUT MAYBE I DID GIVE UP ON IT TOO EARLY’!

If you’re a Mancunian of a certain age like I am, then the IRA Manchester bomb in 1996 will stick in the memory banks forever.  It was a huge event with a dramatic impact and with the Manchester Commonwealth Games, changed the face of the City. It sounds strange to say it but the bomb helped change Manchester for the better. The City was kind of reborn due to the large amounts of money that was spent rebuilding it. Therefore, when I heard a drama was coming up that focused on the Manchester bomb I was really interested and excited about it.  After watching this first episode of this ‘Manchester Bomb’ drama, I was left feeling disappointed however.

Rather than focusing and dealing directly about the Manchester Bomb, the bomb was more the thing that started the proceeding story…..unrelated to it. This is why I think I was left feeling unsatisfied by the end. I viewed it believing this was going to be more about Manchester than it was. Episode one starts(more or less) with Philip Glenister(as Daniel Cotton) in a hotel/pub with his brother Robbo(played by Steven Mckintosh) and Dad(played by Bernard Hill) ,when the bomb goes off and Daniel comes to the aid of cleaner Joanne(played by Liz White). The rest of the episode focused on a daft football bet Robbo had put on due to being in debt, and the relationship between Daniel and Joanne. The bomb seemed to propel Daniel to want a break from his boring life. For example, his Dad does his head in at work and the happy home life with his grown up kids and doting wife, seem a to bore him. It ended where he goes round to his brother’s nightclub, not realising Robbo had set up the club to explode in an attempted insurance scam…..that was the cliffhanger.

I had planned on seeing episode two to see what had happened, but for some reason I just never got round to it. I guess I should have given it another try because it might have grown into something good. That said, the first episode was a let down to me though. I didn’t want to watch another drama about a middle aged man having a mid-life crisis, and thus having an affair with a much younger, prettier model. As I thought it was billed, I wanted a drama more about Manchester, more about this fantastic City that I will love to my dying day! 2/5. 

THE DRIVER(BBC1).

‘A TAXI DRIVER ON THE VERGE OF A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN, WHO KEPT ME GRIPPED RIGHT TIL THE END’!

I really enjoyed this murky British crime drama set in present day Manchester.  Whilst I agree with some critics that it started better than it ended, I nevertheless still found the somewhat questionable ending OK. Some reviewers said the ending was convoluted and fell flat but I would not go that far.

Vince McKee(played by David Morrissey) is a taxi driver going through a big personal crises. He’s majorly suffering from depression due to a dead end job, a dead marriage and a son who has cut off all family ties due to getting involved with a cult.  He goes to his local doctors for help yet she doesn’t think he’s bad enough for medication(he is). A bit like Michael Douglas in Falling Down he’s a man right on the edge. A chance meeting with an old mate called Colin Vince(played by Ian Hart) who has just got out from prison changes things. Colin introduces Vince to his old gangster friends and soon afterwards Vince is being employed as the driver to the gang boss, namely The Horse(played by Colin Meaney). This then shapes the rest of the drama. Kidnappings, brutal beatings and paranoia ensue and so I for one was totally absorbed. Yes OK, maybe the ‘man living a dreary life who then gets into something way over his head as a source of release’, isn’t the most original of scenarios but I enjoyed watching it nevertheless. It ends with Vince(now under Police instructions and Surveillance) taking part in a robbery with the gang but one where he stitches them up and they get arrested. The unsatisfactory ending for some was due to his son ringing Vince up just at the time of the robbery, asking him can he come and take him home. Vince duly does and goes off to save his son(who is at a nearby motorway service station). I lapped this up when the two of them finally embraced each other because I love a happy ending but I know from via press reviews and social media, people thought this ‘son storyline’ wasn’t that convincing. The only slight issue I had with it was the believability of it, that his whole family would now have to go on the witness protection programme. I mean, would a sensible man like Vince act so daftly as to then caught up with something like that(very criminal), thus then ruining all his family members lives forever?

The two stand out performances for me were those of Vince(David Morrissey) and The Horse(Colm Meaney). There is a scene where Vince goes to try and rescue his son away from this cult, but ultimately his pleads fail and he comes away both empty handed and broken hearted. Vince breaks down into floods of tears during this attempt and it was one of the most moving bits of acting on television I’ve seen in a long time. Vince’s desperation was that convincingly acted by Morrissey that the scene still gets me emotional whenever I think about  now. The Horse scared the living daylights out of me, granted it doesn’t take much though ha ha. Colm Meaney was brilliant in this role. He held this menacing air of authority that made him utterly convincing.

To sum up then. Even though it did tail off a bit towards the end in terms of script quality, I still thought this was a good enough watch. Would I fancy being a taxi driver after watching this though…………..NOT ON YOUR LIFE!! 4/5.

STRICTLY COME DANCING(BBC1).

‘KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP DANCING…………………..BUT I DO MISS OUR BRUCIE’!

It’s currently Strictly time at the moment and if you know me, then you’ll know how much I love this show. As I stated in my earlier review of The Voice, I hate X-Factor and so Strictly always wins hands down for me whenever the two of them ever clash on the box. Strictly is more classy, humorous, and an all together more enjoyable show to watch in my opinion. It doesn’t seek to humiliate it’s contestants unlike its ITV rival. The format to X-Factor seems to have really bored itself to death. I’ve grown tired of watching the same desperate teenage singing wannabies year after year beg Louis Walsh and Co, to stay at least one more week on the show…NAFF OFF! I don’t seem to be alone holding such views because The Guardian reported that on the weekend of Nov 1st, Strictly was watched by TWO MILLION people more than X-Factor………….HOORAY I say! Oh and for anybody who has never seen Strictly(seems unlikely I know but still), this show consists of celebrities being paired with a professional ballroom dancer at the start….then us thus witnessing a ballroom dancing competition in the proceeding weeks.

This year marked a big change for Strictly due to one of it original presenters retiring, namely Mr Light Entertainment himself, Sir Bruce Forsyth.  Claudia Winkleman replaced him meaning an all female presenting team, a refreshing change I thought I first. On reflection, having now seen Tess Daley and Claudia front it for a number of weeks(and now Zoe Ball), I think it misses a male person presenting it too. I also think that it misses a comedian of sorts presenting the couples with a joke or two as we were accustomed to with Sir Brucie. I must admit Bruce Forsyth was getting on my nerves by the end of the last series, some of his jokes were cringe worthily unfunny. Nevertheless, I still preferred him doing that compared to a now somewhat uncomfortably looking Tess Daley doing the jokes. For me, instead of Claudia Winkleman, a better replacement for Brucie would have been a ‘funny man’ in the shape of either Graham Norton, Paul O’Grady or even Vernon Kay.

Another negative thing this year is a new ending segment they show each week when the ending credits are rolling. They show some of the remaining celebrities saying to camera just how much they will miss the person just voted off. This is cheesy beyond belief and they talk like the person they are talking about has just died, not just simply been voted off a dancing show on the telly for crying out loud! I’m also not a fan of the new way the judges are announced each week, it’s all a bit too X-Factory for me.ie OTT. I much preferred it when Brucie did it via taking the pee out of one of them.

All that said however I still do think it is a great programme, suitable for all the family to enjoy too.  The judges make me laugh with some of their comments, the set and costumes look amazing, and it is great to observe the art form that is ballroom dancing when done well. Like listening to a moving song that brings you to tears, I love it when watching a couple dance does this emotion to me too. It is also great to see how the celebrities improve week after week. I don’t think trained dancers like singers Pixie Lott and Frankie Bridge should be allowed on it due to it being unfair on the rest of other celebrities, but I have really enjoyed this year watching the likes of Thom Evans, Jake Wood and Caroline Flack take part. The show is a great spectacle and I hope it will be on our television sets for many more years to come

Even with the questionable changes that I outlined, I’M STILL DEFINITELY  A FULLY PAID UP MEMBER OF THE STRICTLY COME DANCING FAN CLUB! 4/5.

MOUNT PLEASANT(SKY LIVING).

‘A WEAKER VERSION OF COLD FEET………………BUT IT’S STILL A GOOD WATCH’!

Firstly, a rant if I may at SKY TV. BLOODY GIVE VIRGIN CUSTOMERS EPISODE 8 OF MOUNT PLEASANT ON THE ‘SKY ON DEMAND’ FUNCTION, COS AT THE MOMENT I CAN’T GET TO SEE THE SERIES FINALE…………….SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ANNOYING!

Right then, now for the review of the seven out of eight episodes I’ve seen this year. If you’ve never seen this show then my comparison with Cold Feet of yesteryear is a fair one.  It’s not as good as Cold Feet but is similar and enjoyable in many ways which that was too. Mount Pleasant is a Manchester based comedy drama featuring the lives of an array of characters, with Dan(played by Daniel Ryan) and Lisa(played by Sally Lindsay) being the main protagonists(or the glue that holds it all together). I must admit I thought series three was a bit of a let down. The story of Dan straying away wasn’t original and I just thought maybe the show had run its course. Although I was disappointed to see the fantastic Pauline Collins(as Sue) killed off at the start of series four this year, I shouldn’t have worried because it was back on form this time. Yes, not that much happens but it’s easy light hearted viewing(mainly), and just a good programme to help you unwind after a hard day.

This series focused on a few things. Firstly, as Lisa and Dan are now new parents we see how they try and manage parenthood with their daily working lives. Bobby Ball( asLisa’s Dad, Barry) is again brilliant throughout and his new role as new Granddad was both amusing and endearing to watch in places. Dan’s  troublesome younger brother Robbie(played by Daniel Ings) turns up out of the blue and his unexpected appearance sets up a lot of the proceeding narrative that we then see. I thought Robbie as a character was really going bug me but I wrong. His introduction with a few shocking revelations along the way, seemed to breathe new life into the show. Other storylines included Denise(Ainsley Howard) and Fergus(Neil Fitzmaurice)having relationship struggles , as well as Greg(Adrian Bower) becoming entangled in thriller type plot with Tanya(Samantha Womack) and Bradley(Nigel Harman). Therefore, rather than feeling like I did this time last year where I wouldn’t have been bothered if they had made another series or not, this time I really do hope we see a another series made. I enjoyed tuning in to series four of Mount Pleasant, it was another TV show that made me very proud to be a northerner.3.5/5. 

OUR ZOO(BBC1).

‘I MISS NOT GOING TO THE ZOO ANY MORE ON WEDNESDAY NIGHTS……..AND I’M FEARFUL WE’RE NOT GOING TO GET A SECOND SERIES EITHER’

Set in the 1930s this is the story of how Chester Zoo came into fruition. George Mottershead(played by Lee Ingleby) is traumatized by his experiences of World War One and seeks refuge in a pioneering vision he has to build a Zoo without cages. With the financial help of his parents(played by Anne Reid and Peter Wright) they move into a run down Country Estate called Oakfield Manor. Once there the story details how George with the help of his parents, wife(played by Liz White) and two girls(played by Amelia Clarkson and Honor Kneafsey), then go about trying to convert the estate into a Zoo without bars. Sounds quite straight forward so far but the Mottershead’s receive great hostility from the local residents about their idea of building a Zoo. We see petitions set up and the fears and prejudices of the people are whipped up into a frenzy by condescending Reverend Aaron Webb(played by Stephen Campbell Moore), who has ulterior motives. George also has to fight Chester Council because they are extremely reluctant to give him planning permission.  The series reaches a brilliant climax when in episode six we witness the final hearing as to whether the Ministry of Health will approve the opening of Chester Zoo.

I loved this series which came as a bit of a surprise to me because the trailers for it beforehand really irritated me. I didn’t have plans to watch it but stumbled upon on it somehow. As a general rule I don’t really do period dramas/pieces but I was hooked on this right away. It had a lovely warm feel to it, basking in the brilliant light of the Northern English nostalgia. With the set looking amazing together with a great script and acting, I started to really look forward to my weekly Wednesday night Zoo escapism with the Mottersheads. Regarding the cast, I thought the two stand out performances were that of Lee Ingleby(as George Mottershead) and Honor Kneafsey(as ten year old June Mottershead). Ingleby gives a great robust performance and you’re on his side instantly. Honor Kneafsey is magnificent for one so young, and many ways both her naivety and passion reflect a younger version of George.

I am desperate to hear soon that the BBC has decided to recommission a second series of Our Zoo but I fear they will not. Although the viewing figures seemed good I have been told by two TV Critics on Twitter than the show has been deemed a flop, therefore making a second series seem somewhat unlikely. I just hope they’re wrong but as no decision has yet been taken by the BBC about this then it does concern me. If they decide to make another series of the awful Our Girl and yet not this, then I will send the Head of BBC Drama a stinking soggy kipper in the post(I don’t do violence ha ha ha). I suppose Our Zoo could have been a bit too child friendly for some, but I didn’t mind that. There was no fighting, no swearing,  just a great true story brilliantly retold and celebrated like it deserved to be! 4.5/5.

 

Conclusion. 

This is the end of my 2014 TV review then, thought I’d do a short blog for you all this time…….oops ha ha ha. My favourite programme so far this year has been without doubt the utterly amazing Happy Valley by writer/creator Sally Wainwright. I can not wait to see the second series of this in 2015. I was also massively impressed with The Americans on ITV1 and I eagerly look forward to seeing the next series of this sometime next year. On the dire TV front, the MOST BORING TV SHOW AWARD has go to Who Do You Think You Are, a brilliant remedy for insomnia I believe Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ha. The MOST UNCONVINCING TV SHOW AWARD goes to I’m afraid Bradley Walsh’s LAW AND ORDER UK , and OUR GIRL wins the MOST CORNY TV PROGRAMME AWARD hands down……sorry Lacey Turner. I’m loving a BBC 1 drama at the moment called The Missing, so I look forward to blogging about this when it has finished. I also look forward to the return of the Last Tango in Halifax before Christmas. This will be the third series of this great comedy drama about an older couple who have found love later on in life, also by writer Sally Wainwright I should add. Back to this 2014 TV blog and I want to say how much I really enjoyed writing this…………yes it did take me ages. I love the emotions that watching a television programme can bring out of you, whether that be tears of joy, sadness or even tears of frustration.  Maybe books make you use your imagination more but the power of television can be extremely strong, just read my glowing review of Happy Valley for instance!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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HAVING DIABETES DOESN’T USUALLY BOTHER ME, BUT RIGHT NOW IF IT WAS A MAN……I’D KICK HIS BLOODY HEAD IN!

*Before I start I feel compelled to point out that in regards to the headline, I’ve never kicked in anybody’s head in so relax……but at the moment if my type 1 diabetes was a living human being then I’d be severely tempted ha ha. Furthermore, always best to try and do a dramatic headline I find ;D

A BLOG ABOUT MY CURRENT FRUSTRATIONS OF BEING A TYPE ONE DIABETIC…AND A BIT ABOUT MY MENTAL HEALTH STATE AWAY FROM THE DIABETES.

Never done a post up to this point primarily about my diabetes because I don’t really think of it as that big a thing. I’ve had it since I was 17, now 37, so I can’t really remember what it was like before being one. There are much worse things to suffer from in my view(I’ve got three or four I could name you) and these people who blog about it like it is this horrific thing, in the past have really wound me up. Take Tiger Lily or whatever her name was from X-Factor(think her name was Amelia Lliy) for example. The way she did this sob story in true X-Factor style really infuriated me. I hated the way she depicted it being this God awful thing and oh what a survivor she was….(get the sarcasm)ARGH. It’s never really got me down until recently. The not eating lots of chocolate or beer thing is a bind but I can live with it, not the end of the world after all. No, what is really winding me up at the moment is trying to control my blood sugars whilst taking medication. This means I’m going ‘hypoglycaemic’ quite a lot and so it’s DRIVING ME AROUND THE F-ING BEND!

As some of you will be aware from reading some of my earlier blogs I currently suffer with pelvic, rib and lower back pains. I hope these will be made lots better with forthcoming physiotherapy that is planned, but whilst the priority is getting my lower leg lymphoedema helped then I just have to put up with the other stuff for the time being. The main way I help control the back, rib and pelvic pain is by taking a strong painkiller called Tramadol. I take 100mg a day but break into four small pieces and have one bit with every meal. I’m unable to take say a whole tablet or even half at a time at the moment due to this making my ribs sting too much, thus making the nausea worse. Taking a 100mg tablet of tramadol during the day doesn’t seem to give me any problems or nasty side effects.  Everything is fine until I forget this golden ‘NO MORE THAN 100MG OF TRAMADOL A DAY RULE’,  take last Saturday for example. As I sat down for an evenings viewing, my back was killing me. I was struggling but all I had left to do before bed was to watch the Anthony Joshua fight so had two extra pieces(50mg) of Tramadol to see me through. I go upstairs to do my blood sugars before bed and whereas it would usually be anything around 9.0 to 15.0…….IT WAS BLOODY 23.0……THAT’S 2,3, 23. Then it dawned on me what I’d done regarding taking too much Tramadol, I was soooo cross with myself. I had insulin to bring it down but when I did it again it was EVEN A FRACTION HIGHER. To cut a long story short, it took my three hours and not til 4am that night until I got to bed. Your bloods being that high makes you feel bloody awful too. Cramping, nausea, exhausted, I was sooooooo pissed off that just having an small bit more of Tramadol can make my blood sugars go so erratic. I then had too much insulin to bring it down and so must have eaten twenty-five biscuits to level it off. It wasn’t really twenty-five but it felt like it. This happened two weeks previously and so I was soooooo angry at myself for not remembering to limit the Tramadol intake.

With this in mind I made balls of my diabetes two nights ago before bed, due to being traumatised from this too much Tramadol experience the night before. Usually I have great control but for some reason it being 23.0 before bed the night before was still in my head, so for this reason I had more night time insulin than usual Sunday night. Subsequently, it was too low now just before getting into bed and so I’m there eating another ten biscuits before bed……….FFS! I then had a disaster Monday morning. I wake up from this nightmare of a dream to notice I’m going very hypo……due me to having too much bloody insulin the night before. I stumble and end up having an OCD contamination disaster. So, I’m there at 6.45am Monday morning shivering because I’m freezing, shivering because I’m going hypo and going hysterical because I’ve contaminated myself by touching somewhere I shouldn’t have done……which was caused by me going hypo and being all unsteady. Also I’ve noticed, whenever I go hypo it sends my OCD phobias through the roof. It makes me be so irrational about things it’s untrue. Oh and also the effects of having too much tramadol was also now making me feel bonkers. Usually in daily life I don’t feel suicidal or on the verge of tears any minute. Take this amount of Tramadol however and this is exactly how I was feeling yesterday. I’ve been feeling so worthless and depressed about things, courtesy of having too much tramadol. I’m just soooooooo angry at having too much and also how it effects my blood sugars. I swear even just taking half a paracetamol alters my blood sugars in an unsuspecting way and it’s just really getting me down. I can’t stop taking Tramadol at the mo though, because until I restart physio or am able to take NSAIDS again, then that and a hot water bottle are the only things that help my back and pelvic pains when very bad. Monday night pissed me off too. Due to feeling very depressed that day courtesy of the nasty Tramadol, I decided to try and have less so the side effects wouldn’t be as bad the following day. I go and do my blood sugars before bed Monday night and because I’d had less Tramadol than usual……THEY WERE TOO BLOODY LOW NOW. I must have eaten about twelve digestives and rich tea biscuits combined, and they just wouldn’t raise my blood sugars. This all because I’d altered my Tramadol intake…..FELT LIKE SCREAMING IN FRUSTRATION. I’ll go back to having just 100mg of it a day and things should go back to normal but gee whizz it is a side of having diabetes that really annoys.

On a slightly different note and might do a seperate blog about this in the coming days, but at the moment I’m struggling with depression I think. I’m off to my GPs at 3.30pm today to discuss my mental health. It’s being diagnosed with Lymphoedema that is really getting to me. I don’t want another life long health problem to have to put up with, I’ve already got enough thank you. I need to have lymphatic drainage done and we’ve found therapists who do this but we’ve been told I’d be best having a Vascular Assessment at the hospital first before doing so. After initially being reluctant to do so, my GP finally agreed to do a referral for me to see a Vascular Consultant after speaking to a Lymphoedema Specialist Nurse about me. Thing is though, this referral is still in the process of getting sent and I’ll then probably have to wait a further four to six weeks to be seen by this Vascular Doc. It’s all time and waiting when I’m desperate to get the drainage stuff on the go, which then brings me nearer being able to have physio for my ribs, back and pelvis. Had enough just waiting around to get better, want a career, girlfriend, my own house etc. It feels a bit like when my Dad died. At first you’re that much of a haze at the distressing news, you’re not really taking it all in. Then when the dust settles and the realisation of it starts to sink in, that is  when I got really upset about it. For eight weeks I’ve been that busy trying to conquer this cellulitis infection(caused through the lymphoedema) that now I’m over that, the life long sentence of having to put up with lymphoedema for life is causing me great distress.  I need to see progression soon to remain positive and strong willed about the future.

Back to my diabetes, maybe after my rant about my erratic blood sugars I should show this Amelia Lliy from X-Factor more compassion? I think suffering from diabetes is somewhere in the middle from my intial ‘oh it’s nothing’ stance, and her ‘it’s a major traumatic thing to suffer from'(I paraphrase her ha ha). Thing is I’m a black or white(or PINK haha) kind of person, there are rarely any grey areas or aspects to my life. I just wanted to vent my frustrations out loud and hope my thoughts resonate with other sufferers out there too!

Speak again soon, Andy.

 

Posted in ANXIETY, COMEDY, DEPRESSION, DIABETES, EMOTION, FOOD, FOOD, grief, HEALTH, LYMPH GLANDS, LYMPHOEDEMA, mens health, MENTAL HEALTH, NHS, OCD, RANT, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

CLOWNS TO THE LEFT OF ME, JOKERS TO THE RIGHT, HERE I AM STUCK IN THE MIDDLE WITH………….LYMPHOEDEMA!

A further update of me being recently diagnosed with Lymphoedema.

Not got that much to say really although as the Waffle King whenever I say that, I then go on and write a mini book ha ha. No, just thought I’d give a brief update about how things have been progressing since my recent diagnosis with the condition Lymphoedema.

On the positive side of things, I’m pleased to say I’m almost 99% positive that finally the cellulitis has gone. For people who don’t know, this is a nasty burning bacterial infection you often get on your legs and is often caused by having lymphoedema. You can not even contemplate having manual lymphatic drainage/massage done on the effected areas until the infection has gone, so I feel a bit calmer now that I should be OK having the drainage done.  The only slight concerning thing here is that when trying a moisturiser on my legs last week, it made my legs burn terribly. Therefore, the only thing which seems to soothe the redness and stinging  is using Fuscidic Cream on prescription. I would have thought I should be able to use moisturiser like the one I have without it causing such a bad reaction, so wondering if the massaging will  be the key to enabling me to do this sting free soon.  I ordered a book on Amazon to inform me further about lymphodema and also ordered two types of compression socks which I shall try in the coming days.  Last week I also rang up and found about three suitable places who do this highly specialised MLD, Manual Lymphatic Drainage, so this is somewhat of a relief too.

The frustrating side of things is to do with a GP of mine doing me a NHS referral to be seen at a Lymphodema Clinic.  After a very kind lady off Twitter sent me the link of all the North West hospitals and clinics that have a Lymphodema service, I was thus fully expecting The Oldham Royal Hospital Lymphodema Clinic to be an option for me when my ‘Choose and Book’ form arrived. Instead, the form didn’t detail any local lymphoedema clinics, rather the only heading on the form was that of ‘General Surgery’. Now when you say General Surgery you think of hernia or gallbladder operations etc, you don’t think lymphoedema support/care……..or I don’t anyhow. I rang up the ‘Choose and Book’ thing and to my dismay I didn’t get told what lymphodema service I would be going too if any at all, I just got told that there was not any appointments available at the moment and so please try again in a bit. I decided to investigate this further and so rang up my doctors, then the Specialist Lymphoedema Nurse Helen Reddie at The Royal Oldham Hospital. She said my referral had got sent to the wrong bleeding place because it should have been addressed and sent directly to her. The BIGGEST BLOW however was when she then informed that unfortunately she is leaving very soon and at this moment in time, there has not been a replacement lined up to take her place…….ARGH! Nevertheless, trying to help she said before I let anybody touch my legs regarding the MLD(privately), I need to be referred for a Vascular Assessment and duly gave me the name of a Vascular Consultant who she recommended me seeing at The Royal Oldham Hospital. After then ringing up these private therapists who do MLD, all three of them concurred how they would feel much happier treating me if I’d had such a vascular assessment done prior to coming. I was then tasked with having to get this across to the GP who had done initial referral. I didn’t envisage any problems concerning me making this request to him, never again will assume such a simple thing regarding this GP in question.

I decided I’d try speaking to this GP on the phone and lets just say he was not very cooperative.  He said as my doppler leg scan came back fine(that checks for blood clots), he didn’t see the point in me being referred to a Vascular Consultant. He added, that had this Helen Reddie known about the OK leg scan, then she probably wouldn’t have then recommended I needed to see a Vascular Consultant.  I had no comeback to this because he was right, I had not told her about the leg scan. After a lot of cajoling from me, he said he would not refer me to this MR RIDINGS, but instead would write an enquiry to him about me. If Mr Ridings thought there was stuff he could then he would do a proper referral to him he said. I didn’t push it anymore after this, I’d given it my persuasive best effort and realised this was the best I was going to get out of him. The only thing that really annoyed me was when he disagreed with me that this Helen Reddie wasn’t going to be replaced very soon. I had just talked to this very lady the previous day who spoke about her regret about leaving and the fact that she was not being replaced straight away, if at all. He kept saying, “yeah that’s not right”, meaning she is going to be replaced and she is incorrect. I would have thought if anybody knew the correct state of things at the hospital then it would be her, as she works there, compared to him that doesn’t argh. Does annoy me when people argue with you when you categorically know that you are in the right or know more than them….argh.

Rang back Helen Reddie to tell her about my leg scan coming back fine and did she therefore agree I didn’t need to see the Vascular Doc anymore? She was really irritated by what my GP had said and said I still needed referring for a vascular assessment. There are other things they can do she said, for example a lymphogram. It’s a way to get me in at the hospital. She insisted she would happily chat to my GP or his secretary to help explain why in her opinion I required such a referral to a Vascular Consultant. I therefore rather nervously rang up my doctors the following day to give them this message by Helen and to pass on her phone number. I did feel a bit like piggy-in-the-middle and still do, getting it from both sides, being caught in the crossfire.

This is where I am currently up too then. I feel a bit stuck, unable to get things progressing as quickly as I would like. All this waiting for the lymphatic drainage is also is delaying the physio I need for my back, ribs and pelvic issues that I have. I don’t know if my GP spoke with this Lymphoedema Nurse Helen Reddie or not. I will give to the end of the week before I ring Helen up to see if she did indeed speak with him. I’m going to be sooooooo cross if he never had the courtesy to bother, even if he disagreed with her. This morning I rang up Choose and Book again regarding that first referral and they are going to refer me to a General Surgery clinic. Therefore, I’m thinking if this referral to a Vascular Consultant does not happen, then least I should have this as back up and it’s a way to speak to somebody at the hospital about my lymphodema.  Hopefully they then can also refer me to the appropriate department in the hospital.

I’ll end by quoting more lyrics from that song by Stealers Wheel which I adapted for my headline at the start. The words so easily describe and explain the way I’ve been feeling over the last eight weeks after being confirmed with this lymphoedema condition. It’s that tune out of Resevoir Dogs for those who love that film.

I got a feeling that something ain’t right………………….And I’m wondering what it is I should do, It’s so hard to keep a smile on my face, Losing control, and I’m all over the place…………Trying to make some sense of it all, But I can see it makes no sense at all………..Cause I don’t think I can take anymore………CLOWNS TO THE LEFT OF ME, JOKERS TO THE RIGHT, HERE I AM STUCK IN THE MIDDLE WITH YOU, YES I’M STUCK IN THE MIDDLE WITH YOU, STUCK IN THE MIDDLE WITH YOU LYMPHOEDEMA, HERE I AM STUCK IN THE MIDDLE WITH FUCKING YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

Posted in ANXIETY, cellulitis, COMEDY, DEPRESSION, EMOTION, HEALTH, LYMPH GLANDS, LYMPHOEDEMA, mens health, MENTAL HEALTH, NHS, OCD, RANT, skin infection, TRUE STORIES, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

DON’T PEDAL ON THE PAVEMENTS, RIDE ON THE RUDDY ROADS!

A SHORT BLOG ABOUT HOW ADULTS CYCLING ON THE PAVEMENT REALLY GETS ON MY GOAT!

So what things in life annoy the hell out of me. People who don’t pick up their dog’s poo is a big one. That is such a selfish, dirty thing to do in my opinion. People who don’t say thank you if you hold a door open for them, or who you let past when you’re out somewhere and they don’t show any kind of appreciation afterwards. The other week for example I stood back to one side in a hospital corridor to let some healthcare professional past, and I felt like swearing LOUDLY  at them after they didn’t say thank you. Rude people get soooooooo much on my tits(pardon my language Ladies), especially the rude receptionists at my local doctors surgery ha ha. I was just brought up to believe manners are very important and cost nothing. Of course there are many more things that wind me up on a daily basis, but the one that really seems to bug me at the moment is to do with people who ride a bicycle on the pavement. Now when I say people I don’t men little kids. Of course little kids who are just off stabilizers can’t be cycling on a busy road, that would be crazy. I’m talking about older youths, say from 15yrs old above, and especially I mean adults. Adults who should know better, lazy adults who just can’t be arsed to do the right thing and cycle on the road for the sake of us pedestrians…………ooooooooooooooooooooooooooh they really wind me up ha ha.

I’m sick to death of walking somewhere, enjoying a nice walk, and then nearly pooping myself due to somebody making me jump by coming up from behind me and riding past me on a bike……………ARGH! “F-OFF THE BLOODY PAVEMENT AND GET ON THE ROAD WHO INCONSIDERATE TW*T”. This is what I feel like shouting at them but the wimp in me overrides this and so I stay quiet. I was walking back from my dentists the other week and I stop to cross over a road. Up from behind me comes a lad around fifteen riding his bike on the pavement, I look to my left and across the road is a guy in his late twenties who should know better pedalling away on the pavement….and then I see another adult straight away in front of me cycling on the pavement too, I FELT LIKE SCREAMING OUT LOUD AT THEM IN FRUSTRATION. A few days afterwards, I had just come up my drive after walking home from having my hair cut done and I see this middle aged pillock across the road in all the cycling gear(helmet, luminous clothing, trouser clips) BUT RIDING ON THE PAVEMENT. I know where I live is on a busy main road and I wouldn’t fancy riding a bicycle on it, so your choice is to get off your bike and walk on the pavement instead. If you want to go on the pavement then YOU WALK, you want to cycle, THEN YOU DO IT ON THE RUDDY ROAD! This isn’t a hard idea to grasp is it? Thing is, people just don’t show enough consideration for other people these days and gees it doesn’t half frustrate me.  I had one cheeky fucker behind me the other week ring his bloody bicycle bell at me so I could go to one side of the pavement in order to let him past…………ARGH ARGH ARGH!

To top it off I was walking home from a trip to my doctors yesterday and I go around this corner and see this pensioner on a bicycle ON THE PAVEMENT, in the distance coming towards me. The site of him not on the road pissed me off but I also knew both of us were not going to fit on the pavement going past each other, so like the gent I am, I waited for him to go through this stretch of pavement so there wasn’t a crash between us. Guess what happened next? There was I expecting him to shout thank you at me for letting him past, BUT INSTEAD THE OLD CODGER JUST CARRIED ON PEDALLING, NOT EVEN MAKING EYE CONTACT WITH ME, NO THANK YOU, NOTHING!! Again if this was a small kid then I wouldn’t have had a problem with it, I rode on pavements in my younger years. However, what is the excuse for this pensioner to be cycling on the pavement? I can think of a few, TOO LAZY, NOT INCONSIDERATE ENOUGH TO THINK OTHER PEOPLE, AND IT’S JUST EASIER TO RIDE ON THE PAVEMENT. Easier does not equate to being right however and I’m sick to death of cyclists not giving a shit. Don’t get me wrong, not everybody who cycles rides on the pavement. You see loads of people nowadays pedalling on the road. It’s just the uneducated, ‘can’t be bothered to do the right thing lot’ that are giving cyclists in general a bad name in my opinion. Think of elderly men and women who get a fright when somebody on a bicycle goes whizzing past them on the pavement.

I implore my fellow UK citizens to join me and make a stand here about not taking this anymore from these inconsiderable LAW BREAKING cyclists. I’d quadruple the current thirty pound fine they are currently in danger of getting at the moment. It would just make my day one time if I saw a copper go up to a law breaking pavement riding cyclist and go, ” HERE’S YOUR £120 FINE MISTER, OH AND BY THE WAY AS ANDY LLOYD SAYS, DON’T PEDAL ON THE PAVEMENTS, RIDE ON THE RUDDY ROADS” !!!!! ;D

Posted in COMEDY, EMOTION, RANT, TRUE STORIES, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment