Andy 'Scarfman' Lloyd's Blog

RIDICULOUS REFEREEING, DIABOLICAL DEFENDING……AND INFURIATING SEXISM!

Posted on September 23, 2014 by SCARFMAN

A LOOK BACK AT MY SUNDAY, RUINED BY UNITED’S POOR SHOW AND THEN CROWD SEXISM AT CITY!

As a massive Manchester United fan since being a small boy, I had been looking forward all week to watching them play on the telly on Sunday afternoon, away at newly promoted Leicester City. I woke up on Sunday morning feeling all excited like a big kid, full of nervous anticipation at the prospect of seeing all our new galaticos signings play again. Afterall, we beat QPR 4-0 at home last game and it seemed the good old days were finally back again. Under Moyes we never once played with the swagger that we did against QPR under Louis Van Gaal. Granted we’d had a bad first three games this season but now he had dispensed with the unsuited 3-5-2 formation, then things definitely seemed on the up. By nature though I’m a rather cautious person and so very rarely do I boastfully declare beforehand that I think United will win comfortably. I suppose I’m wary if I do indeed exude utter confidence in United before they play, then this might jinx it or put the mockers on it so to speak. Nevertheless, with the the glorious win from last week still shinning brightly in the back of my mind, I did what I don’t do much……..namely I boldly predicted an easy win for us when replying to fellow red on twitter. After what the result was(we got hammered), lets just say I’m going back to being ‘overtly cautious Andy’ for the time being.

United started the game like the Harlem Globetrotters, it seemed like ‘sexy football’ to coin a well known football phrase. They were superb with Falcao majestically setting up Van Persie’s first goal and D Maria scoring an outstanding second. There was the blip of Leceister then going down the other end straight after and scoring their first goal(bad marking by Rafael), but as we went 3-1 up the game seemed dead and we looked in total control.

Disaster then struck which led to the game completely turning on its head. The infamous some might say, Referee Mark Clattenburg, failed to give a free kick to United after Jamie Vardy blatantly fouled Rafael. To not blow his whistle and give this as a foul is truly one of the worst bits of football refereeing I think I’ve ever seen. Vardy nearly shoulder charged Rafael all the way to bloody Greenland it was that strong a push, it was outrageous. To make matters worse then, Rafael gets up and makes the slightest of contacts with Varney to give away a penalty. It was a very soft penalty, very harsh, and I reckon nine times out of ten it wouldn’t have been given. Varney went down like he’d been hit by a car however and this overreacting worked unbelievably. I felt for Rafael but at the same time he should not have got so close to Varney and given him the opportunity to do his dying swan act. In my opinion Rafael is great going forward but is very poor defensively. He’s too rash, too impetuous, and does not seem to be learning from past mistakes. For me, he isn’t improving as a player. I can still remember that European game where he cost us the game by again acting too rashly. He is not good enough in my opinion and we should buy another right-back in the next few transfer windows.

After Leicester scored the penalty the crowd was up again, the home team were rejuvenated, and quite simply United crumbled. We looked a complete mess defensively and I felt sorry for Tyler Blackett(19yrs old) because clearly he is being exposed at this level far too much and soon in my opinion. This climaxed in Blackett giving a penalty away and deservedly being sent-off. Again all this started with Clattenburg turning the game on it’s head by not penalising Varney for his foul on Rafael. That said, we should never have capitulated so easily like we did. We had no Keane there calming things down and more importantly we had no commanding centre-half there refusing to be bullied. That game was crying out for a Vidic type figure, we lacked a strong physical presence and leader at the heart of our defence. I’m a chuffed we bought the likes of Di Maria and Falcao in the transfer window, we lacked having truly world class players in our team last season and these two are certainly world class talents. Nevertheless, I agree with the point that Jamie Carragher made on Sky Sports post-match. How can we/United have spent all that money over the Summer yet not have bought any central defenders in to replace the departed Vidic and Ferdinand? This is especially staggering given how injury prone Jonny Evans and Phil Jones are. It is a major flaw of Van Gaal and the rest of United’s coaching staff not to have seen we are short in this department. Our great attacking play is being completely undermined by our weak defence. The most frustrating part of this is that we cannot remedy this either until the January window opens again, so somehow we’re just going to have to soldier on until then. Pray that Jones recovers from his injury asap and that we don’t suffer many more major injuries to our defenders. The fact that Evans limped off injured in this game adds further to my worries about how many central defenders we’ll have fit for our next game. I also thought new signing Rojo was pretty poor against Leicester. Again, seems great going forward but bit suspect defensively. I really hope Van Gaal starts Luke Shaw at left back in next game.

As you’ll have gathered by now after I’d just watched United get beat 5-3, I wasn’t having a brilliant day. I then decide my lazy Sunday would continue a bit more by watching the first thirty minutes of the Man City vs Chelsea FC game. I was watching it but my mind had gone elsewhere, that was until I heard something that truly disgusted me…..namely SEXISM BEING CHANTED BY THE CROWD. There had been an injury to a Chelsea player and so as is the norm a Doctor and Physiotherapist ran on to the field of play to attend to the player in question. Now I’m not going to lie here and try to appear all holier-than-thou, in the past I have noticed Chelsea have a female physio who is extremely pretty. I have seen this physio before on the TV in matches and thought to myself, “phwoar, she’s fit”……..but that is where it has ended. What truly appalled and angered me was when after she’d attended to the player and was running back to the bench to sit down, it was clear to hear what sexist stuff was being chanted at her by some of the crowd. “GET YOUR TITS OUT, GET YOUR TITS OUT, GET OUR TITS OUT FOR THE LADS, GET TITS OUT FOR THE LADS“. I felt sick to my stomach upon hearing this, I could not believe that in this day and age such stuff would be sung. I felt of how that female physio must have heard that and how she shouldn’t have to put up with such sexist behaviour in this day and age. Yet I’ve heard nothing of this chant aimed at her being reported in the media? No reports of any Football Association investigation into this sexist crowd chanting. Sexism is a bad as racism in my opinion yet can you imagine the media reaction if they’d have been chanting racist songs to this physio. I have no doubts the media, FA and whole of our society would have quite rightly thrown the book at City if that had been the case. Therefore, why is this awful, archaic, downright disgusting chanting just being allowed to continue? At what point do you come to in your own mind where you think, I know, lets have a laugh by shouting “GET YOUR TITS OUT” to this woman? You wouldn’t dare shout it, let alone get away with it by shouting it to a woman in the street, so why should it be OK to do this at a football match? I’m heterosexual and get turned on when I see attractive women, but I then don’t feel the necessity to behave like a dog-on-heat. I have more manners and more respect for not only women, but also myself than that. I hate this laddish vulgar element of football crowds. Can you imagine the reaction if at the Male Wimbledon Tennis Final suddenly all the females in the crowd together started chanting, “GET YOUR COCK OUT” to the male umpire, or Line Judge, or worse still, a ball boy? There again quite rightly would be outrage but yet such stuff is just ignored in football. I just hate women being referred to in such a manner and it’s about time the football authorities did too. That chant on Sunday wasn’t ‘just banter’, it was idiotic uneducated nonsense that belongs to a bygone age!

Posted in ANXIETY, COMEDY, EMOTION, POPULAR CULTURE, RANT, SPORT, TELEVISION, TV, TV REVIEW, Uncategorized | Tagged banter, Chelsea, enterainment, FA, football, Football Association, football match review, Leicester city, Man City, MAN UNITED, MAN UTD, Manchester United, media, mufc, press, rant, rascism, SEXISM, soccer, SPORT | Leave a comment

LARRY LYMPHOEDEMA IS STILL GIVING ME A GOOD KICKING AT THE MO!

Posted on September 16, 2014 by SCARFMAN

A FOLLOW-UP BLOG TO ME RECENTLY BEING DIAGNOSED WITH LYMPHOEDEMA!

Bit bored and haven’t blogged for a few weeks so thought I would give an update to how things are. Nothing major has happened since my last blog and learning I could now be a sufferer of lymphoedema, apart from this sick feeling in the pit in my stomach abating somewhat. I guess I’ve started to come to terms with it a little. I’ve no choice I guess have I, it’s either that or quit on life and I don’t want to do that. The first week my head was spinning, I was fed up and depressed at seemingly having to put up with yet ANOTHER health condition for the rest of my life. This goes along with the type one diabetes, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Spondylolisthesis(back), irritable bladder, sore ribs, and pelvic girdle pain…….oh and mild eczema but I only include that if I’m in a bad health boasting competition with somebody ha ha. The issue regarding Lympthoedema is that I’m still at the very early stages at hopefully trying to get some help for it. Oh and I should have said, I have this condition in both of my lower legs, left leg is worse though. It makes them swell up with water, not terrible but it’s there and definitely shouldn’t be. I’m not fully sure who to go and seek help from though however. It appears a poorly known/understood condition(heard that one before argh).

I saw a General Practitioner last week to discuss all this with him and to tell him what the hospital findings had been. They found no blood clots in my legs, needed more antibiotics for the celulitis and thought I had suspected Lypthoedema. The biggest concern was and still today is, whether or not the cellulitis infection and rash has fully gone yet. I’ve read for example that one way to help manage lympthoedema is having the area/s massaged, namely called Lymphatic Drainage. I’ve googled and found a few soft tissue therapists who do this so want to get going to seem them asap. Problem is however, I need to be completely sure that the infection/cellulitis has gone first. This is because if you still have the infection and get massaged then this alarmingly can spread the infection further around your body. My legs are not as red or burning as they were a few weeks ago, but nevertheless they are still red and burning a bit. I don’t know if this is the infection still or rather the reaction on my skin post cellulitis infection? It might just be the water build up in my lower legs affecting the skin colour. This is really frustrating not knowing and the GP wasn’t fully sure either. He said the fact my leg marked up a pale colour when he touched it, makes him think the infection has now passed. Nevertheless, as the hospital Consultant asked for me to have another week on the Clindamycin antibiotic, then I was given another week’s course of these. I told him about the hospital doc suggesting Gabapentin to me to help the leg burning, but he said this is a drug with many nasty side effects and we should weigh everything up after finishing the Clindamycin.

Regarding me getting help with the lymphoedema, he agreed to refer me to Lymphoedema Clinic at The Royal Oldham Hospital. He did however cast great doubt as to how helpful and cooperative the reply might be. For instance, he said there was only one nurse for this condition in the whole of Oldham and she mainly saw just women who had it as a side effect of having breast cancer treatment. He wasn’t sure they/she would agree to even see me given this, but he would try. I was staggered at this because on route for my leg scan I came across a Lymphoedema Clinic signpost at the hospital. Surely the Lympthoedema Clinic at the hospital must have more than one single nurse/health care professional under it’s wing……….musn’t it, time will tell I guess?

So, what is the plan of action then?Like I’ve said, first I need to get fully rid of this cellulitis. Only then can I start having leg massaging and hopefully get rid of this built-up fluid. It’s so frustrating not knowing if the cellulitis has gone or not. A few days ago my legs looked the best they ever have been since first starting with it. I woke up today a bit depressed though because the legs were stinging a bit and they were redder than they had been a few days ago. I have an appointment with a GP tomorrow to discuss this with him. My head says I just want one more course of the Clindamycin to be absolutely sure that the infection/cellulitis has gone. If I get them massaged and it hasn’t gone then this will lead to dire consequences as I’ve already said. I’m still at the very early stages about finding information about Lympthoedema. The GP and bits that I’ve read, both indicate it can not be cured but can be managed effectively(I pray). I have read such treatment options include massaging(drainage), wearing compression socks, exercising and keeping the affected skin areas nice and moisturised. I’ve googled and found a few local places that do this lymphatic drainage. I found the LYMPTHOEDEMA SUPPORT NETWORK and they have sent me an introductory information pack in the post. I have also found a helpline to ring up, so fingers crossed speaking to a knowledgeable person about it soon will help reassure me that all is not as bad as I greatly feared it was this time last week. I then have another appointment with different GP booked in two weeks time just in case this appointment tomorrow doesn’t go satisfactory, and also in case the cellulitis comes back. I just need to be able to start tackling the lympthoedema more head-on to then start feeling better about it all psychologically. Buying the compression socks, seeing somebody for lymphatic drainage, only then will I stop feeling like the victim and that LARRY LYMPHODEMA IS NO LONGER GIVING ME A BLOODY GOOD KICKING!!!!!

Posted in ANXIETY, cellulitis, COMEDY, DEPRESSION, EMOTION, HEALTH, LYMPH GLANDS, LYMPHOEDEMA, mens health, MENTAL HEALTH, NHS, OCD, RANT, skin infection, TRUE STORIES, Uncategorized | Tagged ANTIBIOTICS, anxiety, CELLULITIS, CLINDAMYCIN, GPS, Health, health and beauty, LYMPH GLANDS, lymphatic drainage, LYMPHOEDEMA, MALE HEALTH, MENS HEALTH, mental health, NHS, OCD, SKIN INFECTION, SWOLLEN ANKLES, SWOLLEN FEET, SWOLLEN LEGS, water overload | Leave a comment

FED UP, FED UP, FED UP AND FED UP AGAIN!

Posted on August 31, 2014 by SCARFMAN

My ongoing battle with cellulitis has seemingly taken a turn for the worst!

Readers of my last blog will have seen me try to do an attempted funny take on me then suffering with a nasty health condition called cellulitis. I was mindful how me just listing my health issues and worries can’t be the most entertaining of reads. That said, forgive me if I do just this in the following blog. I’m not in the mood to try and be very funny at the moment, developments have taken place and I’m really worried about them.

Since my last ‘funny’ blog about the cellulitis, things didn’t go as well as I thought they would. The Clindamycin had shifted most of this nasty, painful, burning hot red rash on my lower legs so imagined it was just a matter of time before it went completely. I started feeling positive about the future again, imagined me soon re-starting physio for my back and pelvis. Problem was however, every time I neared the end of my course of Clindamycin antibiotics, the rash would just slightly flare up again, this happened on two separate occasions. I saw a GP who I previously didn’t like but now do(I shouldn’t be so quick to judge people, one of my flaws) about ten days ago and he said he would give me one last try on the Clindamycin. He added, if this didn’t fully shift it then he was afraid that he’d have to send me into to hospital to get some antibiotics via a intravenous drip.

Fast forward a week and instead of getting better, alarmingly my legs were going worse. The red rash was all over my left shin, up my left calf, my right shin was getting worse and the stinging was increasingly going worse. I was trying to hold on going to seeing the GP I really liked in a booked appointment that I had with her in six days time. It was no good however, I woke up last Friday morning with my legs and feet red all over, burning like mad and terribly swollen. Something definitely wasn’t right and as much as I didn’t want to have ring up the doctors for an emergency appointment, I knew I had to act before the weekend came round. I was really worried because I had convinced myself once I got to see the doc, he would say you need to go into hospital straight away and I really didn’t fancy that. From a silly point of view perhaps, I also knew this would mean missing the climax of transfer deadline day(football). Up to this point, I had visions of me sitting in front of the box 24/7 praying United will sign some more good players ha.eg Vidal etc.

What a day last Friday was, I got back home absolutely shattered(both mentally and physically). Like I just said, I was dreading ringing up my GPs for numerous reasons, one I forgot to mention was also my OCD. With my vomit phobia, a hospital visit is one of the worse places where I could be stepping into. However, if needs must then needs must I guess, I knew I had no choice but to just try and cope somehow if I was indeed sent there. By great luck I managed to get an 11.10am appointment that morning with this male GP who I was now starting to warm too, and who more importantly had seen me last time regarding the cellulitis. After him looking at my legs and me jokingly asking him to NOT send me into hospital until after Monday when the transfer deadline had finished, he confirmed that I really did need some IV antibiotics via a trip or stay in hospital. He was convinced the oral Clindamycin antibiotics that I’d had the initial success with were now not penetrating the cellulitis enough. He rang up the hospital and I was told the Medical Assessment Unit would be expecting me sometime in the early afternoon.

I got into the right hospital department at 2.45pm ish and didn’t get home til 9pm. Yes, I fully expected them to keep me in, especially after what was said at one point but to my relief and somewhat surprise, I was allowed to go home….for now anyway. After two hours of waiting and several OCD mini alarms that I coped with, I finally saw a doctor. Her looked at my feet and legs and I noticed then he seemed more bothered about how swollen they were, rather than the redness. He did say something about my lymph glands but I didn’t properly catch it. He said he’d have a word with the Senior Doc and then they’d get back to me, probably with some new antibiotics for the cellulitis…..at his stage I was quite calm(although very sore). About another two hours afterwards I then go into a Consulting Room with this youngish first doctor and the senior one. After me showing my feet and legs to this senior doc, to my great surprise he said he didn’t think I still had cellulitis anymore. He thought the redness and all the leg and feet swelling were due a water/fluid build up. The redness is there because the water can’t get out anywhere. I asked if so, then why did the antibiotics help the nasty rash for a time then? He answered that I probably did have cellulitis for a time but with the blood tests showing no signs of an infection, it’s now gone. I was gobsmacked at this, pleased that my swollen legs were finally being addressed, but worried what lie ahead. I looked at this piece of paper I am to give my GP and it said, “suspected LYMPTHOEDEMA”….I’d never heard of it. I assume they thought this is what is causing me the fluid build up, something being wrong with my leg lymph glands. He said he also wanted me to come in on Monday for a full length doppler leg scan. This apart from the lympthoedema was to rule out that I didn’t have any blood clots or DVT. I’ve never had a heart Echo Scan so this is being organised too, but not on Monday. They also wantied me to self inject a blood thinning medication for 3 days, just in case my blood was too thick.

I got home shattered, relieved they hadn’t kept me in, was worrying about an OCD contamination issue, and was furious nobody who I’d seen up to that point had mentioned lymphoedema to me. I have seen four GP’s about my swollen legs and feet, worrying about them, and not once did this come up………FUCKING USELESS! I’ve had a million blood tests and when nothing came back they just came up witth, ‘oh it must just be because you have pelvic issues’. I’ve been deluding myself thinking all I needed was the right antibiotics for this cellulitis and once I start having physio on my pelvis, the swelling will thus duly go in my legs and feet………feel like such an idiot now(although how was I supposed to know)? At home the following day I did the worst thing I could have done….guess? Yep, I googled lymphoedema and gave myself the rights shits. Things like it’s INCURABLE spring out to me….it was just all too overwhelming and upsetting, still is a bit. I’ve got enough on my plate with the OCD and try to get my back and pelvis better, which re the latter won’t be an easy quick task. It does make perfect sense though if I do indeed have lympthoedema. I’ve been feeling overly acidic throughout my body for the last 4-5 yrs at least. I’ve had hardly any energy at times, even went to the docs years ago convinced myself I had M.E due worrying this could be the reason. Since I had my gallbladder taken out a year and a half ago, my urine is v dark, it stings when I go and I hardly feel the urge to go during the day. Only at night when my feet are raised do I have the sudden urges to pee about five gallons. Since having my gallbladder out my libido has been greatly reduced, been worrying why and not getting anywhere. I bet you all this is because with the water not escaping or not being removed properly, my body is being poisoned and thus is over acidic. I’ve read that massaging the affected areas and wearing tight fitting socks are two ways to help manage it……only time will tell I guess. I just need it to be manageable because got so many things I want to do yet with my life….dream of doing even. Like meeting that special somebody, maybe having kids, good job that I’ve dreamed of(Careers Counselling), travelling etc etc.

So tomorrow I’m to report at the hospital at 2.30pm to go for this doppler full length leg scan to check for this lympthoedema I assume(I’ll be in a right state). I remember them saying they want to check I’ve no blood clots in my legs for a fear my blood could be too thick. Funnily enough I did say to Mum that this tightness in my lower legs and calves made me think I could have DVT, but I’d be very shocked and surprised if I have that. I’ll therefore blog next about what happened tomorrow and in the proceeding week, I also have a GP appointment booked Wednesday. Hopefully nothing awful or drastic is found tomorrow and I’m less FED UP, FED UP, FED UP AND FED UP, next time I blog. Bye for now, Andy x.

Posted in ANXIETY, DEPRESSION, EMOTION, HEALTH, LYMPH GLANDS, LYMPHOEDEMA, mens health, MENTAL HEALTH, NHS, OCD, RANT, skin infection, TRUE STORIES, Uncategorized | Tagged ACUTE MEDICAL UNIT, anxiety, CELLULITIS, DOCTORS, DOPPLER SCAN, DVT, FLUID RETENTION, GPS, Health, HEART SCAN, HOSPITALS, LEG RASH, LYMPH GLANDS, LYMPHOEDEMA, MENS HEALTH, NHS, OCD, POISONING, SWOLLEN ANKLES, SWOLLEN FEET, SWOLLEN LEGS, WATER BUILD UP, WORRIES | Leave a comment

Super Sexy Scarfman vs Mr Crafty Crappy Cellulitis…………….ROUND 4, LETS GET IT ON!

Posted on August 11, 2014 by SCARFMAN

An unique boxing take on my battle with cellulitis!

Harry H :

Welcome fight fans here on MEDICAL CONDITION FIGHT NIGHT TV, this is your host Harry Hay fever here alongside Vernon Vasectomy, in deepest rainiest North Manchester, England, at an unique packed venue tonight called SCARFY TOWERS. You join us in the middle of a Cruiserweight contest between two outstanding up and coming prospects. In the red corner and PINK frilly shorts, we have ‘SUPER SEXY SCARFMAN’ who comes to the ring with an unblemished unbeaten record, he’s a real fan favourite. He’s a former TYPE ONE DIABETIC Welterweight Champion(I was like a rake when diagnosed) and also a former Light-Heavyweight PROSTATITIS Champion. Trust me fight fans when I tell you this guy is going places. Oh and for our lady viewers tonight, let me just say from your perspective this guy is that hot that if you snogged him right now……YOU’D END UP BEING FRIED ALIVE. This is a message from our sponsors tonight, SCARFWORLD-‘the number ones in SCARVES’ and we thank them for your support……NOW GO AND GET KNOTTED. His opponent from the dark evil side is called ‘MR CRAFTY CRAPPY CELLULITIS’ and I know I should stay impartial Vern, but what a nasty piece of work this CELLULITIS chap really is. He’s a dirty, nasty fighter, he’s known for sneaking up opponents when their guard’s are often down…..if I’m wrong Vern tell me if I’m wrong?

Vernon V:

No you’re right Harry Hay fever, this Cellulitis dude is SCUM, pure a simple….but we’re paid to just call the fights Harry, not to give opinions remember. I’ve seen this Mr Crafty Crappy Cellulitis commit truly horrific damage to some opponents. You did see his last fight where he KNOCKED OUT Umberto Umbrella inside the first round? This fight fans is a real monster we have before us, he’s as cold as ice but burns like hell when he lands a blow or two to the skin……make no danger Scarfman is in one hell of fight here.

Harry H :

Yeah I know what you’re saying Vernon Vasectomy, but this Scarfman is no ordinary fighter, if you chopped him in half you’d see the word FIGHTER imprinted in his soul. No you mark my words Vern, if any human force can defeat the evil forces of Mr Cellulitis here then this SCARF SOLDIER ‘SCARFMAN’ can…….C’MON SCARFY, I’m sure the viewers won’t mind me being a tad biased. OK then fight fans just before the fighters come out for Round 4, let me tell how this battle has gone up to this point. In Round One and this came as no surprise because Mr Cellulitis is famous for making a fast start, he pounced on a somewhat nonplussed Sexy Super Scarfman like a nasty RASH and was all over him, almost literally. I’ve never seen Scarfman so unprepared for such a vicious assault have you Vern?

Vernon V :

No me neither Harry. This kid Scarfy has taken some knocks in the past but I just don’t think he took Mr Cellulitis seriously enough at first, he seemed unaware of what damage could be done to him here. He threw a few token half hearted jabs out in the form of Sudocrem and Aqueous cream, but Mr Cellulitis just walked straight through them. Believe me when I say this Harry but near the end of the first round ‘Super Sexy Scarfman’ was in a real bad way. I thought at one point the ref might come in and stop this contest but Scarfy just held on and boy was he relieved to hear the sound of that bell to mark the end of the first round.

Harry H :

You sooooooooo right Vernon Vasectomy, truly astonishing scenes here at SCARFY TOWERS. In Scarfman’s corner his trainer was heard shouting the words at him, “use you left hook of ciprofloxacin antibiotics on him, he’s nowhere to run after you land this on him Scarfy”. He came out for the Round Two and can you believe his left hook of ciprofloxacin didn’t have any effect on Mr Crafty Crappy Cellulitis, Cellulitis just walked straight through it.

Vernon V :

I know Harry, with each blow of ciprofloxacin having no effect on Mr Cellulitis, you could see Scarfman’s face grow more and more anxious. He simply did not have any answers for Cellulitis at this stage, this looked the night where sadly evil was going triumph over good. We then hear his trainer Dr Hohhmann shout, “use your right hook of clarithromycin at him”. Even in this packed arena we heard him shout this, Scarfy just look pleased to have been given some more help.

Harry H :

Yes but can you believe it that Scarfman didn’t seem able to throw this shot correctly(in reality they made me ill) ,so the clarithromycin right hooks did not land properly and so didn’t have a chance to hurt Mr Cellulitis.

Vernon V:

I know but I wasn’t that surprised Harry, after all Scarfman is only a novice in boxing terms. This kid has real potential though to grow up one day to become one of the world’s finest fighters….EVER. I was more shocked at what happened next if I am honest. Obviously flustered that this right hook wasn’t working correctly, he then tried what can only be described as a MONSTER LEFT UPPERCUT………..AND ENDED UP MISSING MR CELLULITIS COMPLETELY AND ENDED UP HITTING HIMSELF(In reality I took some antibiotic via an intravenous drip and had an allergic reaction reaction to it, gave me a skin rash all over) . I tell you last time I saw something like that was in the 60s when a hapless Mr Herman Hemorrhoids, hit himself up the bottom after taking a wild misplaced swing at Mrs Tina Tongue Thrush.

Harry H : At this stage at the end of Round Two it was definitely two rounds to nil to Mr Cellulitis. The sight of their Scarf heartthrob taking such a pasting was almost too much to bear for some of his female stalkers in the audience. I heard one woman shout, “PLEASE DON’T PUNISH SCARFMAN ANYMORE MR CELLULITIS, WE JUST WANT TO BE ABLE TO STOKE HIS ……SCARF/SCARVES AGAIN”. Then I looked over to his corner and witnessed a remarkable scene fight fans, his trainer was replaced mid fight and now in his corner was trainer GP Dr Evans(female) and this very young Chinese looking guy who hailed from the gym of A & E at the Royal Oldham Hospital.

Vernon V :

I know Harry, never have I seen such an occurrence happen in the ring, well OK it was outside it but you get my point.

Harry H :

I do Versectomy, I sure do, quite incredible.

Vernon V :

Thing you have to remember though viewers though, is that this Scarf kid is a true innovator, he really is. He likes pushing the boundaries, being original and not following the crowd. Look at all the abuse he got over a decade ago when he wore scarves as a fashion accessory, no other straight man barring David Beckham would have had such a nerve. He got dogs of abuse in the street from ugly fat jealous men, but did Scarfy care, like hell he did. No Harry, what we see here before us in Scarfy is a true pioneer in the sport of boxing…… and in life in general I guess, him changing trainers after two rounds of a fight is just typical of this great guy.

Harry H :

At the end of Round 2 we distinctly heard his now two new trainers barking the orders at him, “USE A STIFF RIGHT JAB FULL OF THE ANTIBIOTIC CLINDAMYCIN AT HIM”. At first Scarfman looked somewhat concerned, given his record with being able cope with antibiotics, but he just put a brave face on it and came out firing like the true warrior he is.

Vernon V :

Yes Harry and finally this saw Scarfman getting a foothold in this fight. The red burning skin strikes from Mr Cellulitis were beginning to fade and Scarfy started parading around the ring once more in those pink frilly shorts……….LIKE A PEACOCK IN THE MATING SEASON.

Harry H :

And who best to give us that description than you Vernon Versectomy…..this is in your BALL park so to speak afterall.

Vernon V :

Indeed Harry, indeed my man.

Harry H :

Anyway back to the action of Round Three. ‘Super Sexy Scarfman’ is well on top in this round right until nearly the end of the round, when he momentarily gets distracted by a fine looking filly wearing walking past the ring apron wearing a SPARKLY GOLD SCARF(in reality I scratched my leg and drew blood, so this aggravated the cellulitis I think). As a result and typical of such a nasty chep opportunist that Mr Crafty Crappy Cellulitis is, he jumped all over Scarfy like a rash once again, ending the round by giving him some more red fleshy marks to worry about.

Vernon V :

Then Scarfy pulls another rabbit out of the hatch once again and CHANGES TRAINERS AGAIN(had to see another GP, ones I liked weren’t there argh). This time Dr Hassan was the chosen one, if he looked like a boxing trainer then than my Aunt Sally is called Uncle Bertie….if you get me Harry(I wasn’t overly impressed, especially when he said you got what, psoriasis….pillock)? Scarfy at first looked very disregarding to his new training recruit, at one point I thought he was going to spit out his gum shield at him……..nothing would surprise me when Scarfman is around Harry.

Harry H :

I heard his new new trainer Dr Hassan say very quietly to him, “SCARFMAN, MORE STIFF RIGHT JABS OF CLINDAMYCIN BUT YOU NEED TO HIT HIM HARDER WITH IT”(in reality this meant I’ve been told to take 300mg of Clindamycin four times a day now, upping it from three times a day). So this where you join now fight fans, we’re almost ready to go for the 4th Round action.

Vernon V :

The action is underway once more and this new tactic really seems to be working for Scarfman, Harry. After suffering that setback late in Round 3, he definitely seems to be on top once again.

Harry H :

C’MON ‘SUPER SEXY SCARFMAN’…..I’M A BELIEVER, YOU CAN DO THIS BUDY , I’M A BELIEVER GIRLS……….ARE YOU???????

TO BE CONTINUED

NB Back to the real world, hope you enjoyed reading my attempted funny take with my battle at trying to get rid of this cellulitis? So I’m now taking a higher dose of clindamycin.Only had this new higher dose once and oh my goodness, I felt like an alien by bedtime so fingers crossed I can cope on them. If not it’ll be back to doctors argh. WATCH OUT FOR THE CONCLUDING REPORT/BLOG OF THIS FIGHT, MR CRAFTY CRAPPY CELLULITIS WILL BE DEFEATED AND SUPER SEXY SCARFMAN WILL REIGN SUPREME!! ;D

Posted in cellulitis, COMEDY, EMOTION, HEALTH, LYMPH GLANDS, LYMPHOEDEMA, mens health, MENTAL HEALTH, NHS, POPULAR CULTURE, RANT, screenplay, skin infection, SPORT, TELEVISION, Uncategorized | Tagged allergies, ANTIBIOTICS, BOXING, CELLULITIS, ciprofloxacin, clarithromycin, COMEDY, comedy writing, Health, humour, mental health, OCD, screenplay, script, script writing, skin, SKIN INFECTION, SPORT | Leave a comment

GOODNESS, GRACIOUS, GREAT BURNING LEGS OF FIRE…………AND THE RETURN OF ‘THE SINGING DECTECTIVE’!

Posted on August 3, 2014 by SCARFMAN

For my next blog I had planned in detailing how my first trip to the physiotherapists had gone. I mean, saying how I coped O.C.D wise and also if I thought they were any good. When I came back I even had the title in my head for this next planned blog, ‘THE FAWLTY TOWERS OF PHYSIOTHERAPISTS…….OR SHOULD THAT BE FLOWERY TWATTS’ ha ha ha, fans of the sit-com will get this joke. Then as events turned for the worst here, dealing with them seemed more pressing than doing this physio blog. Therefore, I shall quickly sum up how the physios went now in the next paragraph, then get well and truly into the nitty gritty of the nightmare I’m going through right now(‘THE RETURN OF THE SINGING DETECTIVE’, a reference to a famous TV Drama character, being the clue here).

I’d sum up the first trip to these new Physiotherapist’s by saying it was alright, but no better that. I’m definitely going to go a few more times yet, but at the same time I wasn’t bowled over by his personal or professional skills. When I got there he examined my thoracic spine and stated how it wasn’t in great shape, this I was happy with because I didn’t want him to say I was fine when clearly I’m not. He stated how soreness in your thoracic spine can lead to pains in the shoulder(which I am getting), and even could possibly explain my rib pain. The bit that pissed me off however was that he then waltzed off for 20-25mins whilst I had ultrasound pain relief applied to me via a machine. After about 20mins and I’m still lay there prostrate on the treatment couch, I hear the door open and this strange guy around mid 20s comes in and says hello and awkwardly shakes my hand. He never said who he was and maybe I’ve been seeing too much CRIMEWATCH, but all I could think of was, ‘my wallet and phone are over there which he could easily pick up and run off with……..I could easily be the victim of a robbery here ha ha ha, I do have an over active imagination I grant you. Eventually I asked him did he work here and he said he was a physio yes, he was just going to apply ultrasound whilst the Organ Grinder comes back in a minute. I also kept thinking to myself at this point, ‘I’VE PAID 30 odd quid for this so far and all he’s done so far is shove me under a ruddy machine, can’t see me coming again. Then finally he came back and salvaged the appointment somewhat. He manipulated my thoracic spine and seemed very exuberant upon hearing a loud crack after doing so. He claimed a healthy thoracic spine wouldn’t or shouldn’t make such a sound after doing what he had just done to me. He said I’ll have about six appointments concentrating just on this area and I may find it helps the rib issues also, but at the same time it might not. If not, then he said he’ll work on me lower down(at the ribs level). I took this cracking noise to be a good sign. It showed things aren’t right like I’m telling everybody constantly and maybe my spine not being right could be the underlying explanation to this continued rib pain? There was enough sense and plausibility in what he said for me to think I can not stop going here just yet, need to keep an open mind and give this bloke/physio a chance. He definitely needs to work on his personal skills though and he better not swan off elsewhere in the middle of another appointment, otherwise one will get very annoyed will one ha. Oh and as soon as he came back into the treatment room with this weird lad/physio who didn’t introduce himself, and started going all school teachery, so I quickly worked out this odd ball was a Trainee Physiotherapist. Think Benny from Crossroads, or the type of geek whose life evolves around computer games rather than girls……..harsh but fair ha ha ha.

Oh and nearly forgot, OCD wise, going to the physios was very anxiety provoking for me. Even though I’d gone to the extreme(and embarrassment) beforehand of asking the owner had anyone ever been sick there, and him saying they hadn’t, I was still really worried I might see or smell sick. I was also in a bit of a state getting the taxi there too, due to having an issue with that last time too. All in all I coped really well in the taxi and in the physio place. I didn’t smell anything dodgy so this gives me confidence. I did have a two wobbles coming out though however, the first being two dodgy looking marks on the treatyment room door. Mr Irrational was playing up, especially after just being pulled to pieces back and forth. However, Mr Rational won on this rare occasion as I concluded by fighting it, saying to myself that they were just old dirty marks you get on wood, in time. The second wobble was harder to cope with and am still a bit anxious about it now to be honest. Going from the toilets once I’d arrived there, I made a point of not looking at the Dentist’s waiting room chairs(it’s also a Dentists) so as I didn’t see any stains that would give me the chance to worry sick might be on them. I did this but as I went to the toilets before going home I forgot this ‘avoidance’ tactic due to him nearly bending me in half, and so accidentally duly laid my eyes on a dodgy looking stained waiting room chair argh. Yes it could have been anything, doesnt mean it was sick on it, chances are it was no, but this nevertheless has not stopped me worrying about it at home since this appointment. I had expected to have gone again by now and had to face these OCD demons, but events at home took a rather dramatic turn for the worst. This is where I tell you about me actually living the words of that famous Jerry Lee Lewis song, ‘GOODNESS, GRACIOUS, GREAT BURNING LEGS OF FIRE’…..(I’ve adapted the title) ha.

Those of you who have read ALL my blogs will remember me stating how my feet and ankles are swollen, particulatly the left one. Had numerous tests and scans to try and find out why this is, but everything thus far has comeback negative and fine. The latest is a GP wondering whether it’s a drainage or blood flow issue to do with my twisted pelvic issues. This is another reason why I’m trying to get going regularly to see a Physio once again. I also think it might have something to do with my sciatica in my left buttock too. Anyway, as my left foot is quite swollen and what with all this sunny hot weather we’ve been having lately, it has become very itchy at times. I remember itching it one night and then thought nothing of it after that. The next morning I woke up with these really nasty looking scratch marks on my foot, where I assumed I must have scratched the night before. Again, I thought nothing else more of it at this point. I’m an all or nothing kind of person so just assumed I must have just been a bit too rough when scratching my foot, I just admonished myself for going seemingly a bit over-the-top. As the next few days proceeded these scratch marks on my foot were starting to get really sore and seemed to be increasing rather than decreasing in size. I started putting on hydrocortisone ointment on which I have for my eczema but it seemed to make my foot worse worse rather than help it. Then to my alarm I noticed these scratch marks were getting much bigger and this rash was starting to develop up my right shin. Fast forward a few days and this rash on my left foot and shin was getting worse. It was really burning and incredibly itchy. I tried Sudocrem and Aqueous cream and on both occasions, applying such creams just made this rash sting more. Mum said Daktacourt Ointment had helped a bad rash of hers once so I tried this for a few days, but yet again my now really bad rash was getting worse. I had a GP appointment booked in 2wks time so was trying to cope with it until then……………..THEN I FOUND OUT WHAT IT WAS, THE WONDERS OF TWITTER.

The rash was absolutely killing me by now, the burning and itching were like I’ve never experienced before. My left leg around my calf and up my shin was burning red, and my foot was all red and now had bluey bits to it. I also was starting to get it on my right foot too, I was pretty certain it must be some kind of an infection. Sleeping was difficult due to the stinging and pain, and of course being in the middle of a bloody heatwave was making the itching ten times worse. I remember going on Twitter the following morning and tweeting how bad this rash looked on my foot and leg. I follower tweeted me how it sounded like CELLULITIS because her Gran had it, and said it can develop into something serious if not treated so I should get it checked out. Now at first I must admit I was a bit dismissive of this suggested diagnosis. Reason being, I used to follow this girl who used to endlessly make me worry around the time I developed gallstones. Every time she tweeted me it was something about when her Gran had gallstones and how they’d made her ill this way and that way, I used to come off reading those tweets worried sick. So with this in mind I thought at first, ‘oh hear we go again, somebody else trying to scaremonger’. That said, I thought I better check it out just in case this girl/woman was right, just on the off chance. BLOW ME OVER WITH A PINK SCARF PEOPLE, but when I did google cellulitis it took about five seconds for to me 100% believe this what I indeed did have. The photos of the rash/rashes looked the same and the fact that it mentioned people with swollen feet are prone to this, made me think even more I definitely has this. I rang up my Doctors that that day and managed to get an emergency appointment with a doctor. He duly comfirmed that I did indeed have cellulitis and precribed me with some antibiotics.

Fast forward to Friday and the rashes and burning was becoming horrific. The bloody antibiotics the Doc had given had not worked so I rang up on Friday to ask for some others. The only thing making me able to sleep at this point was applying Fusicidic Acid Cream to the affected areas, just died the burning down enough to enable me to dift off. The GP prescribed me some new antibiotics but warned I might have a bad reaction to them due to having a very bad reaction to some antibiotics years ago that are closely related to them. So, guessed what bloody happened. Yeap, only after 2 hours of taking this new antibiotic I started to feel really unwell. I started shivering, shaking, terrible nausea, just felt awful, no way could I carry on taking them. I was sooooooooooooo upset and pissed off. I felt soooooo ill and at this moment was still not on anything to get rid of this cellulitis. We contemplated going to A & E but really didn’t want to have to go there unless absolutely necessary, due to my O.C.D phobias. Last time I went to A & E I had norovirus, was honking up blood and really didn’t want to be confronted with people with sick bowls. The GP had said that if I have a bad reaction then they do a new Saturday morning Clinic now(at the local Practice) for urgent cases, so ring there if I needs be. I woke up early Saturday nearly in tears my leg was burning that much, I had no choice, I had to ring up the Docs at 8am on a Saturday morning.

I spoke to this nice lady GP and she asked me to come along to the surgery so she could see the rash for herself. She mentioned maybe IV antibiotics might be the way to go, via either hospital or a nearby medical place that offers an Ambulatory Service. I really didn’t want to have to go into hospital due to my OCD contamination fears, that said something had to be done because the rash was unbearable and rapidly getting worse. After showing my feet to this Doctor she managed to sort it that I could go to this nearbyAmbulatory medical place for intravenous antibiotics, which was a two minute walk from the GP’s Surgery. I was a bit apprehensive going to this medical place because years ago it used to be an old folks home where my late Gran with Alzheimer’s used to be. Towards the end she had become incontinent and I can still remember one distressing visit where after we got into her room, we were met by this horrific smell and her excrement all over the carpet. My OCD wasnt quite as bad then as it is now but it was still an ordeal for us all. It was also upsetting to see her like that even if thankfully she was oblivious to it all. I assumed this place now would look like a mini hospital however when I got there it looked exactly how it had when my Gran lived there, plus all I could see were the grey heads of elderly folk. This caused a bit of a panic and even more so when the treatment room I went in, can you believe, was my old Grandma’s bedroom. It took me a good fifteen minutes of trying to calm down before I could relax in there. I quickly looked at the carpet to check for poo stains but it was about fifteen years ago that incident so I came to the conclusion it probably was a new carpet now, hence the clean look of it. The nurse who dealt with me was such a nice guy, could not have been more suportive and understanding regarding me and my OCD issues. I sensed somehow even he or a close family member or friend of his suffered with it too because he was sooooooooo empathetic towards my anxieties. He gave me an antibiotic done via IV and I was told I would need to come for it again for two more days, then it’s ten days of oral antibiotics(which worried me again concerning if I’d be able to take them or not). I had lovely walk home on a sunny day and finally felt that things with this cellulitis were moving in the right direction……….little did I know then what was about to happen next.

When I got home and decided to shower I noticed this red blotchy rash all of a sudden all over my arms. I thought it must either be the sun or that the rash/cellulitis is getting that bad that it is now effecting my arms. I did feel better for about two hours after the IV antibiotics, but as I went to bed the cellulitis on my legs and feet was raging again, think I may even had tears in my eyes out of frustration with it all. I woke up and I was disappointed the cellulitis had’t showed more signs of improving since my first antibiotic go, plus this red blotchy rash was definitely getting worse and causing me some concern. When I got to this medical place again at 1.30pm Sunday afternoon for my second go at the IV antibiotics, I duly told this new nurse how I was feeling. ie rash not improved and seemed to have a new one on my arms. The latter set alarm bells ringing off for her. She was concerned that although the drug was supposed to be penicillin free(I’m allergic) it could be the case that I may have had some kind allergic reaction to it, hence this new rash on my arms. She therefore said what I was dreading all along, that she thought I better to go A & E. This was because if she gave me another dose of it and I am allergic, then the second time the allergic reaction is much worse. I didn’t have much of a choice, I had to go but God I was dreading it, I didn’t know what I’d find once I got there.

I chuffed to say on an OCD front, I coped really well at A & E. The fact it had been done up a bit helped and I guess I had to push my OCD to the corner of my mind as much as possible, for I had this ruddy cellulitis business to deal. I managed by not sitting down in the waiting room and as it was packed, this didn’t look odd to other people. This really annoying older woman help distract me too. She was there with her daughter and her dauughter’s fella(both fatties) who had three small kids, one of the babies being ill. This bloody woman was unbearable though. She moaning and moaning and moaning, being a cow with the staff, if everybody had behaved like that then there would have been chaos. I got talking to a nice family covering three generations and the girl with them, around twenty, said under her breath how annoying this bloody woman was. Later on I heard a nurse being stern with the daughter with the kids, who was pestering again at how long did they have to wait, so that made me feel better ha ha. Regarding her annoying Mother, I just kept doing my hard fake stare at her , if she had only known what a big wimp ha ha ha, but gees what a thick annoying cow. Eventually when I got to see a Doctor he suggested they give me a new kind of oral antibiotic. He wanted me to have it in the treatment room and then I’d have to stay seated for awhile to see if I had a bad reaction to it. He also confirmed that that on my arms WASN’T the cellulitis that was on my feet and legs, rather it was definitely an allergic reaction to the bloody antibiotic they’d given me at this medical place intravenously argh. After thirty minutes of feeling OK they said it was alright for me to go home. I didn’t feel unwell after taking this new antibiotic although couldn’t decide if it was making this rash on my arms worse, or was that still from yesterday.

When I got home I made a decision that rather than going for this antibiotic via an intravaneous drip/injection(which would be a pain), I’d have a go at having the same antibiotic in capsule form. The name of the antibioitic I would be taking and trying first of all to get of this cellulitis was called Clindamycin. On the arm rash front, it continued to get worse before it got better, I STARTED LOOKING LIKE THE SINGING DETECTIVE AGAIN. This was my joke to how I looked when I discovered at 15, that I was alleregic to penicillin. My skin got really blotchy and scaly. As a few days wore on I started getting this blotchy rash on my legs too, it was definitely an allergic reaction to the bloody intavaneous antibiotic. I rang them up about something else(the place where I’d been given it) and quizzed them about if they were sure it was penicillin free? They were adamant it is penicillin free but I’m equally adamant that they are wrong. The first nurse who treated me on the Saturday told me how once they given this IV antibiotic to this lady, and it was thought of as penicillin free as she also was allergic. After her having an allergic reaction, research was done and it was indeed found to have a small trace of it in. I truly believe this is what happened in my case too, utterly frustrating. As this allergic rash on me has more or less gone now but I’m still taking the clindamycin, then it had to be something not right with that.

On the cellulitis front it didn’t take long for the Clindymacin to start showing some improvements. The burning started to decrease more or less straight away after taking the first one. A week after starting them, I’d definitely say things are improving and my legs and feet are less red and stingy. That said, it definitely hasn’t gone yet either and it still itches and burns a bit, just nowhere bad as it was a week ago. I also find myself feeling itchy all over at points throughout the day. Not sure if this is the cellulitis in my blood stream or the remains of that bloody antibiotic allergic reaction. I can’t expect miracles though, it’s only been a week on the antibiotics and as it was sooooooooooo bad I know I just need to be patient. I have a week left taking the antibiotics and then I’ve booked an appointment with my GP to discuss whether she thinks I need one more course of the antibiotics. At the moment I think if I’d feel happier if I could have another ten day course, so worried of it coming back because couldn’t bear going through all that again. I’ll have more of idea of the state of play this time next week. I just can’t believe I’d never heard of the condition cellulitis before, seeing as I’ve had personal experience of most other illnesses and ailments under the sun ha ha. Given another week untreated I would not have been singing ‘GOODNESS GRACIOUS GREAT BURNING LEGS OF FIRE’, I’d have been left screaming the original title……AND THE SCARFY BALLS HAVE BEEN ENOUGH TRAUMA AS IT IS! ;D

Posted in ANXIETY, cellulitis, COMEDY, EMOTION, HEALTH, LYMPH GLANDS, LYMPHOEDEMA, mens health, MENTAL HEALTH, OCD, RANT, Uncategorized | Tagged A & E, ANTIBIOTICS, anxiety, BACK PAIN, CELLULITIS, CLINDAMYCIN, DOCTORS, Health, HOSPITALS, MENS HEALTH, mental health, NHS, OCD, SHOULDER PAIN, SKIN INFECTION, SPINE PROBLEMS, THORACIC SPINE | Leave a comment

A NIGHTMARE ON HAIRCUT STREET!

Posted on July 15, 2014 by SCARFMAN

Decided last week I needed a haircut so booked an appointment for one last Friday at 3.30pm. It was going to be a test with my vomit OCD and dog dirt phobias, because I had the taxi journey there to contend with and then the long walk home. However, my hair needed doing and also wanted it done before going to physio the week after. I hadn’t got a taxi for about 6wks so this further heightened my anxiety, I was out of exposure practice.

The taxi journey didn’t go well. Usually I aim to get into the front passenger seat in a taxis(cos I reason there should be less contaminated), but due to how he parked I ended up getting into the back. I’d not been in the taxi for longer than sixty seconds before seeing some funny looking, possibly sick looking marks. I didn’t know what to do at this point, I just kept cursing at myself for getting in the back…’WHEN ALL THIS BLOODY PANICKING COULD HAVE BEEN AVOIDED IF I’D HAVE GOT IN THE FRONT’. My mind was spinning, my anxiety levels through the roof, and all I could think of was that this will be last time I’ll be able to use this hairdresser’s because I’ll have contaminated it after going in. This annoyed and saddened me at the same time because I’ve started to really like going there and get on great with the girl that does my hair.

The haircut went well, although at the back of my mind throughout was this feeling of contamination from the taxi. I was dreading going back home and maybe smelling sick on my jeans. After getting out of the taxi I saw I’d been sitting on another dodgy looking stain. I got home and duly told Mum all about it(God knows where I’d be without her right now). I asked her could she ring up the taxi firm and find out if it was something else hopefully other than sick. I then walked around around the block several times…having already walked about a mile from the hairdressers. Given my lack of exercise due to the severe pelvic pain I currently have, this is such a long way for me. The walking helped calm me down though, and I guess I was using it to delay finding out the truth about those car seat stains(AVOIDANCE). Oh and ashamedly as I walked back from the hairdressers over a motorway bridge, for a mini second, I did contemplate jumping off it….really. Then I thought to myself, DON’T BE SILLY, what if I fell and paralysed myself and then find out it wasnt sick…..it would my life over. I therefore kept on strong and after hearing what the stains actually were, boy am I now glad I didn’t do anything silly in my state of despair. The taxi man that day had driven some unruly kids and their Mother somewhere, and all the way there they were blowing bubbles out of a bottle, hence the bubbles popping and leaving stains on his seats……….PHEW. Now you could say that could be lies but the women in charge of the taxi firm on the phone has been amazing with my me and my taxi OCD fears, I believe this explanation.

I loved walking back from the hairdressers because it was a lovely day and it was nice inhaling the summer fresh air into my lungs. I also enjoyed the exercise, felt good to have worked up a sweat by the time I was home. I also enjoyed the walks around the block afterwards, even managed to see some dog poo and avoid walking in it without getting into a state. The problem the day after however was my back and pelvic pain, the walking after a sleep had left me in absolute agony.

So I wake up Saturday all stiff………….IN MY LOWER BACK AND PELVIS, I can hardly walk. By the end of Sunday I suddenly realised that by the end of that day I’d had about 250mgs of Tramadol in little bits to help the back pain. I usually have 100mgs daily of Tramadol and this helps the pain without stinging my sore ribs badly, or making me feel like a right nutter.eg depressed, on edge etc. Now I’ve had too much before occasionally in the past but I’d kind of forgot to be careful not too again……..it hasn’t happened in ages. Monday therefore was an absolute disaster, I felt terrible, awful. I felt soooooo tired, confused, disorientated, my OCD WAS THROUGH THE ROOF, I felt so on edge it’s beyond belief. I felt on the verge of tears all day. I had four showers due to feeling contaminated, and that’s a lot even by my OCD standards. I just felt completely worn out, both mentally and physically. NEVER AM I TAKING THAT MUCH TRAMADOL AGAIN, I’d rather suffer with the sore pelvis and back. Just need the physio help to enable me to take anti-inflammatory drugs again, as this would mean I could lessen the Tramadol. At the moment, I cant take any anti-inflam drugs without them stinging my ribs and making me feel very nauseous and ill. Today is Tuesday and although I am feeling less depressed and on edge, I can definitely still feel the after effects of taking too much Tramadol. I feel really drowsy today, can’t stop yawning and just got no energy whatsoever. It is just so lucky that my new big physio appointment is tomorrow and wasn’t today or Monday. The effects of taking too much Tramadol should be wearing off, indeed I think it has already started slowly doing so, thus leaving me to be able to cope better.

Tomorrow is therefore a very big day for me. After months of having scans and blood tests done, it’s all come down to this physio appointment tomorrow. The scans and blood tests didn’t show anything to explain my rib, shoulder pain and intense continual nausea, so I’m praying it is to do with muscle tightness .ie my ribs being too tight. A physio ages ago said my ribs were stuck and locked, so this is why I am holding onto this theory. I’m dreading it OCD wise, it’s going to be such a tough test for me. For example, going to somewhere I’ve never been before, so I don’t know as I write this, if it’s going to be OK contamination wise. I’m just praying I manage to cope and this trip does not blow up in my face. I need to go though because I need to try and get better and so get my life back. The alternative is not going and in twelve months time things being exactly how they are now………..and that’s desperate. Fingers crossed the physio helps and it then enables me to take the OCD medication, which frustratingly, I can’t do at present. Then I will encouraged to get more CBT help for my OCD. I just need the day to go well. I need to have been able to cope OCD wise and that the physio guy who I see gives me hope, hope for the future. For lets face it if the person in question does not have any hope left, then what really is the point of life itself?

Let you know in my next blog how this trip to the physio’s went.

Posted in ANXIETY, COMEDY, DEPRESSION, EMOTION, HEALTH, mens health, MENTAL HEALTH, NHS, OCD, RANT, TRUE STORIES, Uncategorized | Tagged anxiety, BACK PAIN, Health, living with OCD, MALE HEALTH, nerves, OCD, PELVIC PAIN, PHOBIAS, physio, rib pain, SICK, TRAMADOL, TRAMADOL SIDE EFFECTS, VOMIT | Leave a comment

FACEBOOK MAKES ME FROWN BUT TWITTER MAKES ME TITTER..AND I’M DEFO A TIT MAN

Posted on July 10, 2014 by SCARFMAN

As a technophobe, years ago it took a far bit of friend nagging for me to finally set up a Facebook account. I must admit, at the time this latest social media product seemed all rather exciting at first. It seemed fun to link up with people(mainly through school) that I’d not seen or spoke to in ages. I even enjoyed the pop-up instant messaging thing, it was new and different and fun. This enjoyment of Facebook was pretty short lived however as it soon started to get on my nerves and still does. First, it annoyed me that although old school mates had accepted my ‘FRIEND REQUEST’, they weren’t interested in having a conversation…….SO WHAT WAS THE POINT IN ACCEPTING MY FRIEND REQUEST OR SENDING ME A FRIEND REQUEST THEN? I had one cheeky fucker who will remain nameless, that ignored my first ‘friendly hello message’, but then went on to send me this impersonal message about how would I like to sponsor him in a FUN RUN? I was astounded by his cheek, so I kindly ignored him like he did with me(now I’ve unfriended him). It then became clear that I couldn’t remember the surnames of my recent University classmates and so was left talking………..or not as the case maybe, largely to ex schoolmates that I had not spoken too in over 10yrs and had now got very little in common with(no offence if some of you are reading this now haha). Oh and also the pop instant messaging thing went from being fun to being a nightmare. I’d go onto facebook and people I wanted to avoid talking too would pop up suddenly. I started going on it more discreetly then, like a celebrity who goes outside with their hood up and shades on cos they don’t want to be recognised ha ha.

My second big pet hate of Facebook compared to Twitter, is that it seems all lot more showy offy. By this I mean, it’s like some people on there love showing off how great their life currently is. I swear there was this girl/woman on there who was an ex schoolmate of mine who was constantly posting photos of her now ‘wonderful life’, with her wonderful husband’. She’d post photos of their new car, their lavishing sitting room, and every other photo was of her and her hubby all loved up……….I duly unfriended her due to the nausea caused by looking at her photos doing my head in meeeeeeeeooooooowww ha ha ha. I know it sounds harsh and mean spirited but just being honest. Maybe it’s partly to do with my life being so shit at the moment but I don’t think it’s just that. Oh and then there is this girl on there who I fancied rotten years ago, who via Facebook I learned had got married and had a ruddy baby, gave me a right boost that one ha ha ha. Facebook can be too personal, and soooo as time has drifted on I’ve drawn back from Facebook a bit because I so much more enjoy using Twitter. I put funny updates on twitter and half of the time forget to post them on facebook too. Reason of this, is because twitter is more fun…….so now let me explain.

So, as a technophobe, how did I get into Twitter to the point where I’m almost now addicted to it? When I first opened an account I didn’t really get it or get bitten by the twitter bug. I didn’t know anybody on there and so wasn’t getting any tweets sent to me, so all in all I found it boring. Fast forward about 4-5 months and I decided to give it another go. Now don’t fall asleep when I tell you all this but after I finished Uni I became a member of the Labour Party. The election for a new Leader to replace Gordon Brown was in full swing and so I started following and chatting to other fellow Labour supporters on there. I wanted David Miliband to win and started talking to other people who wanted him to win too. I also had a massive passion for Mixed Martial Arts/UFC and in particular was and still am a big fan of the UK fighter from Clithroe(near me), called Michael ‘The Count’ Bisping. We’d spoken to each other a few times via his website and so we continued chatting on twitter and that together with me going to see him in a store signing once, means we’ve become good mates. I do have to question myself sometimes when I’m there taking the piss royalty out of this hard mixed fighter ha ha, but it’s a good fun and I love how we’ve become mates…..kind of ha ha. I even talk to his lovely wife and mother-in-law, the wonders of twitter hey ha ha. I follow and chat to fellow Manchester United fans, boxing fans, people suffering from the same health issues I am, the sense of community you get from twitter is a great feeling. I’ve even phoned up two people from twitter, one woman who was also having her gallbladder out soon like me. It was so nice for us to be there for one another.

With the Bisping thing, I love how twitter has brought me closer to people in the public eye. Granted not everybody replies to my tweets, but I’ve had conversations with sports journalists, political journalists and made a firm friend on there with an award winning current affairs journalist. I regularly direct message(twitter speak) chat to this female journalist and at times it does seem a tad surreal, seeing as I see her on the telly lots. I care more about some people who I’ve never met on Twitter to many on Facebook that I have indeed met in my life at some point, as harsh as this sounds. It sounds madness, but you start caring and looking out for people on there. I also find Twitter an escapism from my shit life at the moment. Not all of the time, but most of it, I go into ‘funny Andy’ mode….I call it my DEL BOY side ha ha. This is the side to me that I like, the side that is always in full swing when I’m with my mates. I’m a full time mickey taker and have had some great giggles ans banter on there…..barring the odd lady I may offend with my near to the knuckle humour at times, but you can’t win them all.

The only downside to twitter, well there is two I have in mind, but the first one I want to mention is fake accounts. About twelve months ago me and numerous others got hoodwinked into believing two fake accounts. The first one was by a girl who claimed to be from Glossop, big Man United fan and a big time fashion model. She was a great girl and we regularly shared jokes and even started flirting a bit. I can still remember now her supposedly tweeting me from New York, working there on a fashion shoot she claimed. She had this friend who was said to be suffering from cancer. I took due pity on this girl because she sounded in a bad way. In an attempt to emphasize with her I revealed to her tests I’d had for cancer a few years back, I even started emailing her. Fast forward a month or two and other people they spoke too on twitter, found out that both accounts were fake….no model ever existed, neither did this cancer sufferer. I think the latter one maybe did, but not in guise she professed to be. I was mortified and like many others felt like a right mug. I nearly came off twitter for good following this experience. How sad must peoples lives be if they have to make up such sick lies such as this….VERY IS THE ANSWER. They say you live and learn however and slowly I started using twitter again, relaxing and forgetting all about these two nutters. That experience just taught me a valuable lesson in not being as trusting of people on social media as I had been up to that point. Many months have passed since and I like to think I’m a lot better now at spotting fake accounts, just call me DETECTIVE SCARFY ha ha(I’m SCARFMAN_ on twitter).

The only other downside to twitter is the abuse some people seem fit dish out. It’s like they go on the internet and in this case twitter, and leave their entire moral compass at the door. I dislike Piers Morgan but would never tweet to him extreme abuse, calling him a Jeremy Hunt like many do….rhyming slang ha. Idiots think it’s OK to send people abuse on there and there won’t be any comeback. I know this is changing bit now due to a few celebs prosecuting people who have sent them nasty vile tweets, but still people take too many liberties on there in my opinion. A scouse boxer retweeted a tweet I sent him, where I said the Luis Suarez bite on a Chelsea player was worse than the Eric Cantona spectator kung-fu kick. I duly then got sent about forty or fifty tweets sent to me by Liverpool FC fans, where due to my pink scarf(in my photo) I was subjected to homophobic abuse. I blocked them all and in fairness not had anything like that happen to me on there in over 12mths. Also the reporting abuse on there has got more enhanced, so it shows twitter is getting more serious about this. Comparing this to facebook, I have not got a clue where or how you complain about folk on there.

The pluses far outweight the minuses on Twitter though in my opinion. When I get up and turn my computer on, I first look at the latest football transfer gossip, then my emails and then TWITTER. I’ve become that addicted to it that I now hate it if ever the system is diown and I can’t go on it. I’ve become TWITTERIZED(my new word just made up ha ha), like when people who spend too long in prison become institutionalized ha ha. Now I accept my addiction partly comes via having far too much time on my hands through not working at the moment due to ill health, but I can still see me going on it lots when I finally do get my life back on track. As I said at the beginning, Facebook just bores the living daylights out of me, and I only stay on there now, due to a few dear close friends on there not being on Twitter yet. I don’t like to frown and much prefer to titter, so it’s Twitter over Facebook all day long for this @Scarfman_

Posted in ANXIETY, COMEDY, EMOTION, FRIENDSHIP, POPULAR CULTURE, RANT, social media, THE ARTS, TRUE STORIES, twitter, Uncategorized | Tagged bisping, COMEDY, discussion, facebook, fake accounts, friendship, jokes, laughter, opinion, rant, ranting, school mates, Social Media, Twitter, ufc | Leave a comment

SCANS CAME BACK FINE, BUT HEAVEN KNOWS I’M MISERABLE NOW!

Posted on July 3, 2014 by SCARFMAN

What has happened on the health front since last time I blogged? I went for an abdominal ultrasound scan to see if anything might be found to explain my current health problems. By this I mean the swollen puffy feet and ankles, the water retention, the chronic persisent nausea, and the extreme rib stinging and pain. I was sooooo nervous, didn’t want the Doc doing my scan to find something serious, yet I was praying that something might show up to give me some answers. At the moment until something concrete is found I cannot put to bed the insinuations by people such as my Psychiatrist, that I’m making too much of it. This pillock(the Psychiatrist) just thinks I’m being awkward saying any OCD tablets he gives me makes my ribs really sting and make me feel horrendously nauseous. Anyway, there I was jabbering away incessantly(I do this when nervous) to this Doc as he did the scan on me. As the last one confirmed to me that I had gallstones at the time of the scan, I came out feeling pretty despondent that probably nothing had been found due to him saying nothing to me at the end. I was told my GP will get the results in two weeks time, I clung on to the small remote hope that maybe something wrong with me had been found.

So two days later I duly went to see a GP about my abdominal scan results, bracing myself for them not to have found anything. It was a lady GP who I’d never seen before and THANKFULLY she has restored my faith back in GPS somewhat. She wasn’t patronising or prejudiced, she just took me and my concerns at face value…plus she was blonde and was flashing her legs so that always helps too hahahaha, i’m joking. Good news was that nothing awful was found. My liver was fine, my prostate was not enlarged(a shock given my history of prostate infections), and my kidneys were of a normal size. So, yes I was pleased nothing awful or life threatening had been found, but at the same time I felt depressed. I wanted something to show why my legs are swollen, why I’m feeling nauseous all the time, why I am sore sore around my right ribs. With the scans negative, the lovely GP thought that maybe the water retention and swollen feet were due to my pelvic pain, ‘your twisted pelvis’ as she put it, she gave me water tablets to see if they helped. I’d told her how two years ago a physio after examining my ribs, said how she thought my right ribs were stuck/locked, thus giving rise to my shoulder pain. I stated how after manipulation the nausea eased off slightly for a week or two. I wondered therefore if it could be due to muscle tightness, given that it’s my right tight, inflamed iliopsoas muscle that is sore too? She agreed and thought I should try manual therapy to see if my symptoms improve. If not, then she said I should go back and see her……….so this is the impending plan.

Last two weeks haven’t been great. I’m fed up of doing stuff or eating stuff that then stings my ribs and then consequently makes me OCD greatly worse afterwards. For example, I decide I’m going to walk say back from the doctors and that really hurts my ribs. Christ, this week I had a Quorn new chicken and mushroom style pie in a white wine sauce. Can you believe I have been sooooooooo ill the last few days because of a bad reaction to the white wine ruddy sauce. First, my diabetic blood sugars go through the roof, then I start to feel pain to my lower right ribs, then I feel very nauseous and the day afterwards my OCD was horrendous, HAD ENOUGH OF FEELING LIKE THIS. Even if my ribs do start to improve I just can’t start this amazing job I want to do tomorrow, it’ll take about a year to get everything else improved. By this I mean the pelvic pain and the severe OCD at the moment. Nevertheless, it would be a start and it would let me see that here is indeed a big bright light ahead of what has been thus far, a very dark tunnel. It’ll take me a year to do stuff I require to get my C.V in order. eg voluntary work, courses, work shadowing etc. I’m not going to lie, with this vomit phobia I have, I am petrified about going to a physios in the next week or so. I hate going to places I’ve never been to before as I don’t know for sure it’s OK contamination wise. What if I get there and there is dog shit or sick outside the premises? What if once in the physios, if I see a sick stain on a chair or on the floor……these are the kind of OCD irrational thoughts that are swirling around my head at present. I’m just going to have to fight it and force myself to go however. If I don’t go to physio then I’m never going to get better and twelve months from now, my current shit situation won’t have changed. Can you imagine how much better I will feel if this has been the issue all along(muscle tighntess, bad posture etc). I can’t cope much longer with this rib pain , had enough of watching so carefully what I do and don’t eat. I suppose I’m also really worried of no physio or other manual therapist being able to help me, frightened of being stuck like this for the rest of my life……..my life isn’t a life at the moment, it’s more of just an existence. I’m not the highly intelligent, go getting, fashion conscious mad Andy who I used to be and this saddens me. I used to get lots of female women looking at me and smiling, giving me the eye(I’m probably imagining this bit haha), now though I wouldn’t pull a door knob never mind a gorgeous fit girl. EVEN MY MUSCULAR BOOBS HAVE ALL GONE LADIES, sad sad times when even this has happened haha. No seriously, I need ‘muscle tightness’ through twenty years of tensing up, to be the reason I’ve been feeling soooo unwell at present. It would make perfect sense if this is what all my problems have been down too, given I have been getting in highly anxious states for at least the last twenty years. I played football as a kid for school and can remember getting tense and stressed about this, and that was when I was ten, I’m now thirty-seven for crying out loud.

Today and tomorrow I’m therefore ringing up the physiotherapists I shortlisted after hours of googling last week. The plan is to go to my first preferred one next week. I want to go asap at the prospect of somebody me helping put at end to my severe pains and nausea, but at the same time I’m scared to do so due to my Obsessive Compulsive Disorder illness as just discussed. I need things to improve so I can start seeing somebody for my OCD too. After my first physio appointment I will to tell you how it went and how I coped. I need things to start improving soon because HEAVEN KNOWS I DON’T WANT TO BE MISERABLE ANYMORE! 😦

Posted in ANXIETY, DEPRESSION, EMOTION, HEALTH, LYMPH GLANDS, LYMPHOEDEMA, mens health, MENTAL HEALTH, NHS, OCD, RANT, TRUE STORIES, Uncategorized | Tagged anxiety, BLADDER PROBLEMS, DEPRESSION, DOCTORS, Health, ILIOPSOAS, IRRITABLE BLADDER, KIDNEYS, LIFE STORIES, MALE HEALTH, mental health, MUSCLES TIGHTNESS, OCD, PELVIC PAI N, physiotherapy, RETENTION, rib pain, SWOLLEN ANKLES | Leave a comment

FLOUNDERING, FRUSTRATED AND FED UP!

Posted on May 20, 2014 by SCARFMAN

An update regarding my Mental and Physical Health battles –

Firstly, before i write this blog can I just say a brief thank you to all of the people who took the time to read and send me lovely supporting messages regarding the last blog I wrote. This was my first blog or public forum where I’d openly discussed being a suffer of Obsessive Complusive Disorder for many years and so it was a very hard thing to do. The positive response I got back from many people was lovely to read and it convinced me I’d definitely done the right thing talking about it for the first time for all the world to see. I could talk to a room full of women about my bits and bobs being sore without that much embarrassment ha ha, however I do feel embarrassed talking about my OCD. I know I shouldn’t but I do feel embarrassed, ashamed perhaps, to admit I have this ‘nutty’ less rational side to me at times. That said, the more I’m discussing it with people then the less this embarrassment is there. I even brought it up in conversation at my hairdresser’s the other week. I doubt very much I could have done this, had I not first done a blog about it and had such a lovely feedback. Thanks again you lot, you know who you are.

So I hadn’t written a follow-up blog about my OCD(although people were enquiring) up to this point, because and I know this sounds daft, but I try to pretend I don’t have OCD. Talking about it endlessly can make my symptoms and thoughts worse, can act like a trigger. This means as a result I can get completely worn out by it. For example, the other day I had an OCD flare-up at 8.30am one morning and so all day was spent me mithering about possible contamination. I was mentally shattered by 10.30pm that night, felt nauseous and physically ill through it. I have to therefore blog when the mood takes me, so here I am now ha ha. I had a major do(OCD WISE) last night so I woke up this morning and thought I know, I need to do something productive now and so I’ve decided that will take the form of me doing another blog posting, plus I’m over due to write an update anyhow. I’ll update you on my Mental Health first and then my ongoing Physical Health battles.

Mental Health wise, things are still pretty bad, well, very bad if I’m being completely honest. I saw my wanker of a Psychiatrist who I’d love to chin, such a patronising, condescending fucker, and he said he wasn’t willing to give me any more support from a nurse or indeed from himself or Psychologist, because he didn’t think I needed it which is a staggering thing to say(I badly need support), nor will he treat me unless I start taking the medication he wants me to take. I’ve explained this in my last blog, but due to very sore ribs and constant nausea, I’m unable to take any OCD drugs at the moment because they really sting my ribs, thus making me terrible nauseous. Believe me I’ve tried my best to take them because I know I need all the help I can get but they just make me feel physically too ill. The Psychiatrist thinks I’m lying or making too much of this, simply doesn’t believe I cannot tolerate the medication, so we have a clash. I’m astounded he therefore won’t offer me any help, no, outraged is more the word. My family are outraged too, they think I should complain at how I’m being treated. The plan is still to go and seek a therapist privately in the next month or two. If I couldn’t afford this then I’m not sure what I would do next.

There have been a few good things I’ve done OCD wise since my last blog. I walked back home from my Dentist’s and managed to avoid thinking I’d walked in dog poo or vomit(they’re my phobias). It made me feel normal doing this and I felt a little like the old, more rational me again. The highlight was walking twice as far as this when I walked home from my hairdresser’s. This was great because I had a ‘do’ going to the hairdresser’s because the taxi I got in to take me there had bird shit covered all over the car. It was plastered over the car door handle and I’m 99.9% sure i got some bird muck on my hands and so duly on my best cords. I initially panicked upon seeing this on my trousers,I thought about not going into hairdressers through fear of contaminating there. However, I quickly regrouped, fought it and and just put my fears on hold until after I came out of the hairdressers. I’m so pleased I managed to go in and have my hair done. I’ve also challenged myself that I will also definitely go there again, even though it’s a bit of a possible contaminated zone again now, plus the girl who cuts my hair is lovely. The bad side was that when I got home I threw my phone away and the clothes I was wearing due to this bird shit contamination incident……argh.

On the bad OCD side, I’m still throwing far too many clothes away. Granted they’re only cheap, chilling clothes(shorts and T-shirts) but that is not the point. Even though they’re cheap, it’s still proving too expensive a thing to do(throw lots away) and so the penny finally dropped last week. I throw clothes away because I worry they’ve touched contaminated areas of the house. It all goes back to me still worrying there might be vomit smelling areas in the house(READ MY LAST OCD BLOG WHERE I EXPLAIN THE SICK INCIDENT AT MY LOCAL GPS TWO YEARS AGO). Last week I managed to have a pair of shorts washed 3 days on-the-trot so that gave me a confidence boost, I just need to expand this now to more clothes. I still feel like a prisoner in my own home though and worry I’m touching so called contaminated things when I’m not.

Not had any suidcidal thoughts since my last blog, that was until Saturday evening when I had a MAJOR OCD CONTAMINATION FLARE-UP, it was defo a 9/10 anxiety job. I decided to go into the back garden with Mum to try and help me cool down a bit. Now, to anybody else going into the back garden wouldn’t be an issue, but in the past it’s been a contamination area I’ve avoided due to our late dog going to the toilet in it, then bloody neighbours cats doing their business in it. We’d had a good spell re cat muck due to doing things to ward them off. For example, we’ve had those ultrasonic machines that supposedly scare them off, together with putting bottles of water and curry powder down to scare them off. So, there I was on Saturday evening strolling up and down the back garden lawn with just my slippers on my feet when I nearly stand in some bloody cat muck….least I think it was that and not fox, had to be cat. The last sonic machine broke down last winter so we’ve had nothing in the garden to make them not do their business in our garden since then. I was mortified, panic stricken, I assumed I was safe walking on the grass. I was greatly worried because the day before I’m convinced I ran on the cat shit(not knowing it was there) whilst I pretended I was bowling at cricket(I used to play a lot for various teams) the day before. I straight away started ruminating, ‘oh my God there could be cat shit now on the carpets now, the whole house is contaminated. Every mark now I see on the floors, I’m automatically worrying and thinking it could be cat poo, it’s a nightmare. Mum has cleaned the carpets, is gonna VAX them soon, and so after that I’m just going to have to try and get over this, but blimey it was something I really didn’t need. I’m scared of going into the back garden again now but I’ve promised myself and Mum, that I defo will once it has rained since this ordeal. BLOODY CATS, SHIT IN YOUR OWN GARDENS PLEASE IF YOU READ THIS hahahahaha.

I’m greatly hamstrung with the OCD until I get my physical health improving. This should then mean I’m physically able to take the tablets, which should help my OCD enormously. Improving physically will give me more motivation to fight my OCD, I need to feel things are progressing, it will give me hope. Once I start seeing a physio privately in the next week or two and get that in process, then I’ll arrange to see a Therapist privately for my OCD then. I can not do start two new people at once it’ll be too much to cope with. Plus, the Therapist is bound to suggest/desire I take medication with the CBT I have, so it makes more sense to start the physio first, in attempt to be then able to take the OCD tablets.

PHYSICAL HEALTH

I had two MRI scans, one that revealed my pelvis was perfectly fine and another that confirmed my lumbar spine Spondylolisthesis (Grade 1 L4/L5) with significant nerve compression. This nerve compression is thus the reason why I have such bad sciatica in my left leg all the way down, feels like I’ve been shot in the left arse cheek. It was great my Spondy had not got any worse and according to this assessor guy, my nerve compression should NOT require surgery. He was of the belief that it can be corrected with just Physical Therapy.ie Physio. I was distraught though at nothing coming to light as to why I’m still feeling sick all the time, got terribly painful ribs and can hardly consume anything without it stinging my lower ribs. It hurts to lift up my right arm and shoulder, something clearly isn’t right. After an appointment with this Physio Assessor guy at the hospital, after me mentioning I hardly wee and have puffy swollen ankles, he was convinced my kidneys could be the issue. He said he would write to my GP for me to be referred to see a Urologist at the hospital about it.

My ankles swelled up last summer but I never thought much about it, family and others saying it will just have been due to hte heat. My late Dad died of fluid on his lungs which involved his ankles swelling up. Therefore, when mine started swelling up after my MRI scans you can understand why I would start to worry. I go to a GP who after doing blood results said nothing was found, my heart, kidneys, liver, etc are fine. I was greatly relieved my heart is OK but at the same time frustrated nothing was found to explain this severe rib pain and nausea, as well as the puffy feet. He really fucked me off by then suggesting perhaps this pain to my ribs was psychological.i.e IN MY HEAD. I nearly both hit him and started crying at the same time as he said this. He would never have dreamt of saying such a thing had he not known I was a sufferer of O.C.D. This prejudice makes me want to scream at times. I just bit my tongue and screamed in frustration when I arrived back home. He wasn’t sure about the puffy ankles so just gave me some bog standard water tablets. This makes sense admittedly but I’d also have liked him to try and figure out why I have such a fluid build up, something ain’t right.

After I got back home I was totally gutted the GP had not been more helpful. Something is making me feel nauseous all of the time, have sore ribs and a sore shoulder……it ain’t just chronic pain or just in my head. So, I regrouped after a few days and decided to put a plan in place. I rang up my GPs Surgery and will seek a second opinion re my swollen feet with another doctor, one that my Mum says is v nice. I also now can’t take the bloody tablets this last twit prescribed me because they too sting my sore ribs terribly, thus making me feel extremely nauseous. About a year ago, a physio said my ribs were locked/stuck, thus giving me the pain to my right shoulder. If at this point it looks like it isn’t my kidneys, then maybe it might all be down to this issue again…..my ribs being too tight? It’s definitely worth investigating further so my plan is see a new physio over the next few weeks about this. I’m praying he/she agrees it could be my ribs partly. Afterall, the only time this nausea thing abated for a week or two in the last year, was when this old physio of mine massaged and tried to loosen up my ribs. It’s going to be hard going to a strange physio’s where I’ve never been to before with my OCD, but if I want to try and get better then I’m going to have to force myself to go. That is the current state of play then, as I write this I’m in the middle of trying to find a local physio this week who I pray can help me sort out this pain to my right ribs. I don’t have to be A1 to resume my life, there is lots of things I can be doing CV wise whilst I get better. However, at the moment me and re-starting my life is on hold. I can’t get the pelvic pain or mental health better until I can start taking NSAIDS and OCD drugs respectively. All this is dependent on getting my sore ribs right, thus giving me less stinging and nausea when I take the stuff. Hopefully when I blog next I give you all encouraging news, rather than this FLOUNDERING, FRUSTATED AND FED UP picture which I have at present.

Posted in ANXIETY, DEPRESSION, HEALTH, mens health, MENTAL HEALTH, OCD, RANT, Uncategorized | Tagged anxiety, Health, MENS HEALTH, mental health, nausea, OCD, rib pain | Leave a comment

LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO MR OCD…..HE’S BEATING ME UP GOOD STYLE AT PRESENT!

Posted on March 17, 2014 by SCARFMAN

I’ve toyed with the idea of doing this blog about me and my OCD for a couple of years now, and then always in the end decided against it through various reasons. Primarily, it was because of embarrassment, and then wanting to appear ‘perfect’ and ‘not come across as a nutter’ come further down the list. I’ve had therapists say as I’m such an intelligent fellow(and big headed haha) I should blog about my OCD but still I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I then woke up this morning, wishing I was dead after an horrendous night via an OCD contamination flare-up, and I’ve decided I want to come clean…pardon the pun. I want to share my struggles with OCD. I still think there is a social stigma out there in society regarding Mental Health struggles, so I guess being mindful of this has held me back blogging and openly talking about it too. I have suffered prejudice in the medical field regarding my OCD. I’ve had a Diabetic Nurse suggest I’m getting ‘obsessed’ with my blood sugars. I even had one GP suggest I was getting ‘obsessed with my bits’, when trying to find out why I felt so ill(I was later diagnosed with a prostate infection, see an earlier blog). All because they see ‘OCD sufferer down on my file. Yes talking about my OCD a lot can make my symptoms worse later in that day but I wanted to risk it. Therefore, after this first big introductory blog about me and my OCD, I’m going to keep it to much shorter entries in the future.

I first started with OCD when I was about fifteen. Although, before then I can distinctly remember playing football and cricket for schools and various clubs , and really dreading the games. I enjoyed the actual playing of them but would feel sick with worry beforehand. I’d worry I might let a goal in(I was goalkeeper) or that I’d get no runs at cricket. The perfectionist in me has ruled in me since then, for gone now twenty yrs. OCD wise, I started feeling dirty all over my body regarding smells I came in contact with. For example, I can remember us as a family driving past a pig farm once and it felt like somebody had just hosed me down in pig poo upon me smelling it, I couldn’t rest til I’d washed later. My first issue was the smell of urine in the bathroom(when I was younger I may accidentally pee on the floor/miss the toilet and not wipe it up afterwards. I would feel contaminated at smelling it. This then developed to dog wee. We had a dog who would randomly just wee in the house, even though we’d take him out regularly in the day. I can remember stepping in dog wee in my bare stocking feet and getting all panic stricken and upset about it, rushing upstairs to wash in the shower. I felt dirty and couldnt rest until I felt clean.

Around the time of doing my A-levels I started to get this feeling of contamination after going to the toilet. I couldn’t pee or have a motion, without feeling the need to shower or wash my ‘toilet equipment’ afterwards. This was when it really started to get on top of me, I felt so helpless. Helpless enough to start self-harming. I’m a diabetic and so used to scratch my arms with my needle ends. I started feeling suicidal I felt so domineered by the obsessive, irrational, obtrusive thoughts. I started getting help from my local NHS Mental Health Service and made small but significant progress. Problem is though, when the help stopped my OCD got worse. I knew living away from home going to University in Liverpool would be a struggle regarding my OCD but graduating, or rather the prospect of it, seemed like a dream to me so I just knew I had to try and fight it(the OCD).

When I got to Uni and Liverpool this was when my dog poo phobia really kicked in. Liverpool seemed covered in dog poo in my OCD irrational eyes. The only reason I put up with it was due to dreaming about graduating. I got that bad I can remember once getting a taxi to take me just 200yards up the road to my Home School, so to avoid the possibility of maybe walking in dog shit. We also had mice in my Uni flat. I was never scared of them, just couldn’t handle them defecating all over our carpets.

After Uni I moved back home to try and get better from complicated back and pelvic issues that I have. Not being able to work made my OCD ten times worse. Uni was great therapy for me whereas now I was stuck at home not exposing myself to things. The major flare-up happened when I went to my local doctors surgery for a blood test. The day after I realised I had unknowingly sat in a seat there where there had been vomit on it. As I hadn’t realised at the time I spread this smell all over our house. Me and my Mum who I was living with just couldn’t get rid of this smell, it truly was horrific. As it’s been said to me, I don’t think these ‘contaminated’ things are going to kill me or spread germs everywhere like some OCD sufferers do. Mine is more not being able to relax, have piece of mind if I feel something is or I am contaminated, I’m unable to switch off. The sick incident has made my OCD the worst it has ever been. I always said to folk, yes my OCD is there but it wouldn’t stop me working, I’m too career minded and driven for that. Now sadly it is that bad, there is no way can I contemplate work until it improves lots. I should note, I’m still struggling with back and pelvis issues, so they are preventing me from achieving my career/life goals as well. After this sick incident, I completely went into my shell, completely withdrew myself from aspects of life due to this overwhelming fear of coming into contact or smelling sick again wherever I may go. I can’t go shopping, engage in a social life, have a girlfriend, go to any kind public place because I am so petrified of smelling or seeing sick. I stand up all the time now when I go to my local doctors(a new one), I get in such a panic stricken state when having to out. I literally worry……irrationally……..that vomit is everywhere. I cant bring myself to go on public transport and get in such a state when having to get a taxi(to go to medical places). There is so much in life I want to be able to do but my OCD is stopping me.

I had a course of CBT from a Psychologist at the hospital but it didn’t go well. To put it bluntly, she was a trainee therapist who was out of her depth. All she said were things like, ‘sick isn’t everywhere’, ‘do some deep breathing exercises’……..she offered me no real support or guidance in how to tackle the problem/my issues. I was and still am petrified of how I will cope when I smell or come in contact with sick again. I am scared stiff of being sick myself, partly because I know it will rake up all these upsetting memories I still have of this incident 2yrs ago. I need coping strategies. My home is like a prison at the mo, there are soooooo many areas out of bounds. I treat my Mother awfully sometimes due to me demanding she watches where she sits, walks and touches. She had done something terrible regarding my OCD last night(by accident) which caused a big row…hence why I felt suicidal and terrible this morning. The whole house feels contaminated now in my eyes, I just pray we can get over it in a few days time. The house badly needs decorating but I’m scared of the contaminated things in the house being moved, but I will have to finally face this fear this summer.

I’m also at loggerheads regarding this absolute pillock of a Psychiatrist who I’m under at the hospital with. Due to a terrible stinging I have under my ribs at the mo, and which I’m having scans and tests currently for, I’m unable to take most forms of medication due them stinging this area terribly and making me feel very sick. Therefore, I am unable to take tablets for my OCD and this idiot thinks it is because I do not want to get better. I swear if and when I do find out what is wrong with my ribs thus explaining why I cant take tablets, I will shove it up this fact right up this Psychiatrists arse. I’ve told him that the Psychologist has said I needed in her opinion to be under Secondary Care, needed more support than she could give me. He completes disagrees with this, thinking if all my help is withdrew this will then make me get better quicker myself. This is madness, I need more help not less, makes me soooooo cross. Even though I’ve told him I don’t like him, he’s now said I’m too see him once a month now from April 14th, I’m dreading it cos we’re going to have one almighty row(and I hate confrontation). I simply can’t take the tablets without feeling terribly poorly, the guy is such a numpty. I need to be under a supportive Community Psychiatric Nurse not a patronising, condescending, seemingly uncaring mental health professional such as him.

So what is the plan? I tried seeing this Hypnotherapist about it last month, and to be honest I was really disappointed by it. Not sure if it was him not really being good at treating OCD, or whether it was just hypnotherapy in general not being good for OCD? I’m toying with the idea of trying a new hypnotherapist, just to rule it out ever being able to help my OCD in the future. I know I will then need a long course of CBT stretching over many weeks and months, so whilst I can afford it I’m thinking of going private. It is just whether or not I skip trying hypnotherapy again and go straight to seeing a private CBT practitioner. I’ve lost faith with the NHS, am appalled with how I’ve been seemingly abandoned and treated. I don’t think this idiot of a Psychiatrist has any idea how bad my life and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is at present(even though I’ve tried explaining). I pray these scans and blood tests results indicate as to why so many foods, liquids and medication make me sting under my right side, making me feel so unwell. I currently have OCD in a very severe form and really know I need help from medication, just praying I’m able to tolerate some very soon. My next hurdle is the back results and blood test results on March 26th. I’ll aim to keep you up-to-date date with such events as this, aim to blog about my OCD now. I guess I was also scared about openly blogging about OCD because I thought what dishy woman would ever want to go near such a man like me, with such a mental health condition. Underneath this larger than life, extrovert, jokey character that I am….I am an insecure, hyper-sensitive scared little kitten. This last OCD flare-up though has prompted me to want to openly talk about it at last. I shouldn’t feel embarrassed or ashamed to be a sufferer of OCD , but I am. I’ve never met anybody with OCD, I’ve always suffered alone, feeling like I must constantly cover up and hide this ‘nutty’ side to me….otherwise people will run a mile from me if I don’t. I’m fed up of suffering in silence and THIS SILENCE ABOUT MY OCD ENDS NOW!

I hope you enjoyed reading that blog, I look forward to hearing any comments you may have about it. Perhaps you yourself suffer with it too? Thank you for reading.

Posted in ANXIETY, DEPRESSION, EMOTION, HEALTH, mens health, MENTAL HEALTH, NHS, OCD, TRUE STORIES, Uncategorized | Tagged CBT, Health, HYPNOTHERAPY, living with OCD, MENS HEALTH, mental health, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, OCD, PSYCHIATRY, PSYCHOLOGY, SELF HARM, social stigma, SUICIDE | 4 Comments

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