A HEADACHE IN MY PELVIS AND BACK……….AND D-DAY IS COMING SOON!

Posted on March 5, 2014 by SCARFMAN

  Time to post something personal, time to reveal my continued lifelong struggles with pelvic and back pain. Thing is, I’m a fighter, and will never stop fighting.

A few weeks I got asked on twitter by one of my friends on there, as to why I don’t blog about other stuff apart from doing book reviews? My answer was that I wasn’t sure what other topics to talk about. Deep down though I knew this was an excuse of sorts. I have loads of things I could write about(Mum is always saying I should have written a book by now), problem is many are still quite raw and depressing to discuss. Nevertheless, I’ve decided I want to reveal part of  my secret self to the wider world in the form of this blog. I also hope my revelations find some comfort to some men out there who have gone through or are still going through a similar thing. If I asked you now what CHRONIC BACTERIAL PROSTATITIS IS…………… you will more than likely not have have a clue and look back at me dumbfounded, thus this is why I have to write this blog.

Apart from getting type one Diabetes aged seventeen, life up to being twenty-one hadn’t been too bad. Then at the start of my second year at Uni, my Father suddenly died. The funeral was obviously horrific and I can remember around this time needing to go to wee a lot, but at the time never thought much about it…I was in the depths of grieving afterall. Nevertheless, I can distinctly remember my Mum asking the Priest for me, if I could possibly use the toilet before the funeral service? Looking back this is my first memory of things not being quite right regarding my water works. I had no idea at this point what awful episodes were about to follow.

I go back to Uni to re-do my second year and I was becoming really, really unwell. It hurt every time I went to urinate.I noticed after eating say a chocolate bar or fizzy drink this would bring on great pain in my genitals and would prompt me afterwards to urinate very suddenly. Distressingly,  I noticed ejaculating made my bladder and pain symptoms much worse. It reached the point where I felt the urge to urinate about every five to ten minutes, I just couldn’t stop wanting to go and when I did it really hurt. After about ten trips to my University Doctors and an awful experience where a lady GP asked me, ‘if I was getting obsessed with my bits’, I finally got diagnosed with a condition called Chronic Bacterial Prostatitis. I’d never ever heard of it before and it took me about about 4 weeks to even learn how to pronounce it correctly. In layman’s terms, this meant I had an E.Coli of the prostate gland. The infection had given me an irritable bladder for life I was told, but this can be controlled by tablets. It had not been passed on to me via intercourse, so I was bewildered how I could have contracted this horrific condition.

My life was in bits. I had to drop out of Uni again and move back home as I went into hospital to have the initial diagnosis confirmed, and to rule out prostate cancer(the symptoms are v similar apparently). To my great relief the cystoscopy confirmed that I DID NOT have prostate cancer, but sadly all the inflammation confirmed I did indeed have prostatitis. Slowly but surely the bladder tablets began to work(Detrusitol) which helped dampen down the false muscle urges for me to go to the toilet, and I was soon targeting soon going back to Uni. I was also recommended a supplement called Quercetin which is nature’s most powerful natural anti-inflammatory. I therefore went back to my studies but had to drop out and go back a further three or four times because the prostate infections kept coming back. Every time the infections came back, it floored me because they were preventing me from me reaching my dream………….which was to Graduate. Even when I was infection free life was tough at times. Post infection, I was left with this pain to my right pelvic region, just below my hip. The doctors at the hospitals were useless because they just seemed interested in prostate cancer, so in many ways I was left just to put up with it. My prime goal was getting my degree, so whilst all my mates at Uni were having rumpy bumpy with various people, I could not allow myself to go down this avenue due to the pain sexual intercourse would cause me. Numerous times I was asked if I was gay due to not having a girlfriend. I felt like screaming from the rooftops, ‘NO, IT’S BECAUSE MY BITS ARE TOO BLOODY SORE’….I kind of felt emasculated for ten years. Finally though I did Graduate I’m pleased to say, I had not let the prostatitis and pelvic pain ruin my dream.

After University and I had more time on my hands, I was determined to try and get to the bottom as to why I was left with this achy pelvis, post the prostatitis. Then disaster struck, I started getting very bad pains near where my old hernia repair/op had been. I was concerned I had done my hernia again so went to see my old hernia surgeon. After having an MRI scan I was left flabbergasted. No new hernia was revealed, rather the scan had found I had a slipped vertebrate in my lumbar spine. The official diagnosis/terminology was a SPONDYLOLISTHESIS, grade 1/2, with possible nerve compression. The latter could explain the recent onset of sciatica down my left leg I had been experiencing. I spent the next two years on hospital waiting lists, waiting for more scans, cortisone steroid injections, almost agreeing to spinal surgery. At this point I just wanted an op to correct the spondy, not realizing at the time people don’t really have operations for this. It was only when I saw a private physio about my situation, did I then I put a halt to having a spinal operation(for the lower leg pain). He had a theory my  issues were more pelvic related and I thought he might be right.

So, after a delay I finally tracked down a Specialist Pelvic Floor Physio called Stephanie Knight, at Airedale NHS Hospital. As far as pelvic floor physios go, she really is the ‘bees knees’ as the saying goes. She is trained in Pelvic Floor Trigger Release Therapy(not many in the UK are sadly) and put me in touch with a physio also trained in this who treats nearer to where I lived. The physio is called Sue Hallam and instantly made me feel at ease when first meeting her. The therapy is a very invasive and unpleasant thing to have done, however afterwards it really helped and made things easier(it relaxes the tight pelvic floor muscles). I also starting seeing a private muscoskeletal physio who recommended I see her to realign my pelvis from the outside, and Sue to start relaxing my pelvic floor from the inside….sounded like a good plan to me. It felt great to have finally started to address my long standing pelvic pain issues. Over the next 24 months I saw a whole range of medical manual therapists. eg Chiropractors, physios, Osteopaths etc. The consensus being that due to the prostate infection, I was/am suffering with a tilted pelvis/pelvic girdle pain. I had Sacroiliac Joint Pain, Pubic bone pain, and had this awfully distressing symptom of a burning anus feeling(due to my pelvic floor being too tight). Then an important diagnosis was made, a new physio thought a main issue I had was to do with my right ILIOPSOAS muscle being inactive and too tight. It is a major muscle, responsible for flexing your hip joint. It therefore corresponded that I found it really hard and painful to lift up my right leg. I was just about to start therapy for this when disaster struck again……..I was diagnosed with GALLSTONES.

Have gallstones taken out but weeks later I’m still feeling nauseous, still feeling a soreness to my lower right ribs, my right shoulder still hurts. The only thing that went post gallbladder surgery was the acute pain to the top of my right shoulder(near the cuff). I wasted twelve months then investigating if something had gone wrong following the gallbladder surgery, all scans proved negative. In a final hope and worried sick what was wrong with me, I saw my old muscoskeletal physio again. She took one look and feel of me and said straight away that my ribs were stuck/locked, thus also explaining the shoulder pain. Problem was, she insisted I did exercises that hurt my iliopsoas area, so I had to stopped seeing her.

In the last six months I went to see an Osteopath who again to my relief took me seriously and really wanted to try and help me. She was convinced my right iliopsoas muscle is too tight, enough to suggest I could have a condition called iliopsoas bursitis. She was also concerned that as my last back scan was done in 2009, she wondered if it could have got worse…the spondylolisthesis and thus its sumptoms. She also did not like the fact that certain symptoms have arisen or been made worse, since having my gallbladder out.eg tiredness, little energy, lack of libido etc. After we discussed it further we agreed I should try and get more up-to-date scans done. Something clearly isn’t right. It hurts my right groin,pelvic area and iliopsoas area to put weight on my right side. I’m unable to drive, exercise, walk a small distance without it really hurting and feeling inflammation. I used to be a gym-nut ten years ago, it’s so distressing to feel stuck like this and be unable to do the many things I’d like to do. I am also unable to take anti-inflammatory medication because many tablets and foods sting my rib area inside and make me feel very nauseous. Without anti-inflammatory meds I’m thus unable to do any physio strengthening exercises which are painful, so it feels like I’m stuck between the devil and the deep blue sea at the moment. I’ve also had people suggest to me that it’s partly in my imagination, this rib pain and nausea. I swear I will confront these folk head-on once something is found. Although, I guess I am petrified nothing will be found. THERE IS DEFINITELY SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME and it goes beyond the realms of just undetectable chronic pain.

After a young GP suggested the scans were pretty pointless, I persisted and saw an Assessor Physiotherapist at my local NHS hospital a few weeks ago. I was really scared he’d just dismiss my concerns, think my Osteopath was talking aload of balderdash and tell me to go away without offering me any help. Instead, to my great relief and somewhat surprise , this physio guy was  really understanding. After examining me he said he agreed and on March 10th I am having MRI scans of both my Lumbar Spine and pelvis. On top of that, I shortly have to have blood tests done of my liver and kidneys to see if anything is found there too. He is then ringing me up on March 26th with results. I’m sooooooo nervous what the next few weeks hold in store for me. Nevertheless, I am so desperate for the ‘old Andy’ to reappear once more. I need these scans to show something, I need this to finally be the year where I start to get on top of this headache in my pelvis and back.

Posted in ANXIETY, DEPRESSION, EMOTION, HEALTH, mens health, MENTAL HEALTH, TRUE STORIES, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A STRANGE SHEEP SHEARING, SHAGGING SHEILA….WHO FAILED TO FULLY SATISFY ME! ‘ALL THE BIRDS, SINGING’ BY Evie Wyld – A Review.

Posted on February 27, 2014 by SCARFMAN

ALL THE BIRDS, SINGING by Evie Wyld – A Review.

After a tricky start(the writing style took a bit of getting used too), I found myself in the day really looking forward to reading more of this book whenever I next got the chance. Jake Whyte the female Australian central character is odd, but odd in a good way, I came to really like her. Two thirds of the way through, I started to think of the glowing reviews I would write of this after I finished it. I picked it up with forty pages left to read, highly excited at unresolved issues being resolved, I had that familiar, ‘not wanting this book to end’ type feeling. When it was all over however, I was left feeling somewhat frustrated and confused. I wanted more from Wyld, there were too many unanswered questions that never got fully answered. It went from being a really good book, to a ‘just ‘alright’ book in a matter of moments, and for me this was a bit sad.

Do not get me wrong though, Wyld is clearly a great talent and the premise of the book is an original one. Jake Whyte  is a mysterious Australian sheep farmer who lives on fictional remote island in the UK somewhere. She is a loner, an outsider, and at the start just has her dog and her sheep for company. The start of the book sets the downcast tone of the entire piece as we are told of a sheep who has had it’s guts ripped out by some creature, together with her accidentally crushing a pigeon to death with her hands. Something keeps attacking her sheep which adds further to Jake’s already highly paranoid state. She sleeps with a gun in her bedroom and is convinced something or somebody is spying on her. Her more human side is shown when she converses with local older farmer called Don, who acts as a more or less kind of Father figure to her. We also see her hard edges further smoothed over when she comes in contact with a posh guy called Lloyd, she catches him sleeping in her barn.  This linear present day story is then told in counter balance to the one which tells us of Jake’s past, back in Australia when she was much younger. This second story can get rather confusing however. This is because it is told to us in reverse. By this I mean that at the start we read about her being the only woman in a sheep shearing station, where she has a loving relationship with a guy called Greg. By the end of this second story, we read about her at school, it just takes a bit of getting used too. In the second story we are told of an event which explains her current paranoia back in the UK, the fact that she has brutal scars on her back, and the fact that she worked as a prostitute for a time.

My main issue I have of this book however as previously stated, is that Wyld does not fill in the blanks for us at times, things I wanted coming to a resolution at the end are never resolved or told to us. She could have written a hundred pages more and done this, or even fifty would have done. Without spoiling it for people who have not read this yet, at the end there are remaining questions over this supposed creature who she thinks is attacking her sheep. Or maybe I am being thick here and Wyld wants us not to be certain about this, surmising it could just have been Jake’s mind playing tricks with her(she is extremely paranoid as I stated). It is revealed why Jake had to flee her family home back in OZ and run away, but it is not really explained to us why she had to move all the way to this remote UK village. After an initial scare of her secret/s coming out things settle down for her in Sheep Shearing Station.  I wanted her trip thousands of miles away explaining more, how did it come to that? Rather than going backwards all the time with the second story, I also wanted it to progress more. How did her and the likable charming Greg go their separate ways? Furthermore, I found the explanation behind the scars on her back a tad unconvincing if truth be told, I’m not sure I really believed such an event would have happened as we meant to believe it did.

In summary then, yes I enjoyed large sections of this book. Jake Whyte is a strong, ballsy female character with an interesting story to tell. Was I ever moved to tears by any of it, no, but that does not mean it was not gripping to read in parts either. It just lacked clarity in my opinion and I longed for further narrative development. It has been said many times about me that I am a very ‘black or white’ kind of person, there are never any grey areas with me, I like absolutes. I therefore guess I would frame this book as being not a clear black or a clear white, rather more a uncertain,unfulfilled grey…….and one thing I’m not too keen on in life is anything GREY. 3/5

Posted in ANXIETY, BOOK REVIEWS, BOOKS, COMEDY, DEPRESSION, EMOTION, ENTERTAINMENT, LITERATURE, POPULAR CULTURE, READING, social media, THE ARTS, twitter, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A NEAR PERFECT STORY, THAT NEARLY MADE ME CRY! ‘PERFECT’ by Rachel Joyce – A Review.

Posted on February 18, 2014 by SCARFMAN

Perfect by Rachel Joyce – A Review.

One of favourite books of last year was THE UNLIKELY PILGRIMAGE OF HAROLD FRY by Rachel Joyce(see an earlier blog). Whenever reading it, it was like coming home from a hard day at the office and relaxing into a comfy pair of slippers…..it made me feel all warm and cosy inside. I loved it and so thought I must get Joyce’s follow-up second novel simply entitled, ‘Perfect’.  This is a darker novel, a braver one perhaps, and one that is equally as enjoyable. This is a book that deals with the subjects of class, mental health, and friendship….and she deals with latter two superbly with great emotion.

So, we start off discovering the year is 1972 and eleven year old Byron Hemmings is greatly troubled to have been told by his best friend James Lowe, that two seconds are to be added to the clock in order to balance time with the movement of the earth. This troubles Byron because he thinks this will somehow disrupt his up to then,seemingly orderly way of life. Due to him then thinking the dial on his watch is going backwards in a car journey on the way to school, his insistence on showing the watch his Mum who is at the wheel driving, results in an accident which sets the rests of the book up. His Mum knocks over a young girl on a red bicycle, yet unlike Byron she did not see it happen. Byron joins forces with James and they become mini amateur detectives, they sense some truth is amiss with the girl they knocked over and with her parents, especially with the girl’s Mother, Beverley. They suspect Diana(Byron’s Mother) who is almost physical ‘perfection’ herself, is being taken advantage of. The theme of ‘class’ is clearly evident here. The Hemmings live in a rural detached Middle Class Manor, the children go to Private School, and Diana meets the others School Mothers for fancy social gatherings. This is in juxtaposition to the Working Class Council Estate where the accident happened and the Working Class family life of Jeanie(the girl who got knocked over). Beverley makes pointed remarks throughout about the then marked Class divide in English Society.

This story about Byron, James, and aftermath of the accident, is told in counter balance to a present day story about a guy called Jim. Jim we immediately find out has issues, and they are so heartrendingly told to us. He lacks confidence, has a stammer, and has an extreme form of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I’ve read lots of novels in the last 24 months(got the reading book back then) but this is the first I’ve read where a central character has O.C.D, and I want to applaud Rachel Joyce for this. Jim’s endless rituals are superbly and painstakingly described to us. Joyce does not go over-the-top or  over sensationalise the detailing of this mental health condition. Rather, every time I read such behaviour conerning his O.C.D I was nearly reduced to tears.  Jim lives in a Caravan and works in a Supermarket cafe…he lives on the edge of society. Soon we find more about his life through harking back to the past, it is a past that eventually brings together the other story of Byron Hemmings and James Lowe that we are being told. There is this scene towards the end of the book which involves Jim meeting a ghost from his past. It is beautiful emotive storytelling and one where I all of a sudden noticed, prompted me to have a lump in my throat and a tear in my eye.

PERFECT is not the best book I’ve read, it’s not juicy like a crime thriller or leaves you reeling from plot twist after plot twist say like the majestic Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn. Nevertheless, it is a tale definitely worth reading, a tale that I felt all the better for reading after turning that final page. 4/5

Posted in ANXIETY, BOOK REVIEWS, death, DEPRESSION, EMOTION, FRIENDSHIP, HEALTH, LITERATURE, mens health, MENTAL HEALTH, OCD, POPULAR CULTURE, READING, THE ARTS, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A RIGHT PRICK WHO YOU CANNOT HELP BUT BECOME FOND OF…..BY THE END! ‘STRAIGHT WHITE MALE’ by John Niven – A Review.

Posted on February 3, 2014 by SCARFMAN

STRAIGHT WHITE MALE by John Niven – A book review.

“THIS IS A SERIOUSLY FUNNY BOOK” , a quote from Melanie McGrath from The Scotsman in 2013. I look at this quote from the Scotsman and essentially this explains why I bought and read this book. I realised that most of the books I had been reading of late were either quite dark or  full of suspense thriller types….or a combination of the two, so thought I should try varying it up a bit by reading a comedy. Afterall, people have often remarked to me in a somewhat surprising manner that, how can I not love watching comedy films when I have such a brilliant, wacky sense of humour(excuse my modesty haha)? My reply is that I love films that move me, inform me and films that are about real life and focus on emotive subject matter….but ‘a change is a good as a rest’ as they say or perhaps ‘variety is the spice of life’ is a better saying in this case? I read a review that said this was a book about the male menopause. As I now enter my late thirties that sounded right up my street, perhaps this could be the male equivalent to all that Bridget Jones type stuff that is knocking about I thought? I can tell you now though, overall I found this book a bit disappointing.  If this is ‘SERIOUSLY FUNNY’ , then I have a chest laden with thick dark hair, a repetitively thrusting pelvis and get regularly mistaken as a double for TOM JONES………..TRUST ME I DON’T. This book is funny in bits and makes you smile at times, but SERIOUSLY FUNNY is stretching it a tad my dear Melanie!

So, what is the book about then?  The main character is forty something Kennedy Marr who is a world famous author but who has now got writer’s block, and earns millions writing and polishing up film screenplays/scripts. This is no ordinary man however, an initial counselling session with a doctor for a drunken brawl in L.A  bar gives us a idea of what raucous stuff is about to follow. Kennedy spends money at will(thus we soon learn he has money problems) and goes around behaving like a sex addict with an severe alcohol problem. He has little or zero morality when it comes to relationships and to being faithful. His life changes when due to largely financial reasons(he owes masses to the US taxman), he is nominated and forced to accept the WF Bingham Prize for Literacy Achievement. This comes with a £500,000 cheque and the duty to go back to England and teach Writing for a year at Deeping University. This marks the end of first part of the book, the one based in America. the second duly taking place in England.

It was this first half of the book that irritated me the most. Yes it is funny in parts, the bit where he wets himself at a book reading in front of a hostile lesbian audience, being the funniest bit. On the whole though I thought it rather corny, verging on the silly and unbelievable. I know Kennedy’s excesses were written to excess to emphasize his immoral behaviour and there achieve maximum laughs, but rather than laugh I found myself wincing in parts. I can recall one Christmas time at my sister’s house, her, my Mum, my bro-in-law and I all sat down to watch a stand-up show on the telly of comic Jason Manford. All was well until he then went on this corny, long winded, immature and puerile joke/tale about wanking. I’m no prude but just found such subject matter v poor and unoriginal. Niven does a wanking joke twice in this book and lets just say I’m not a fan of such a joke….is that the best you can do to get a laugh???????? I didn’t really care about Kennedy largely in this first part……that was until towards end of it when a deeper,more wistful, more rounded character threatens to emerge to us.

The second part now based in England, is where the story becomes less frothy and moves towards becoming rather sentimental and moving in parts. Do not get me wrong, Kennedy still lives on the edge in terms of women, drinking and a lavish lifestyle, but he becomes a deeper, much more likable character. In essence, the second half of the book is about regret. Kennedy’s regret over his younger sister’s suicide(drug addict), regret how he should have been there more for his dying Mother, regret how he’d not been there more for his dearly oved daughter Robin as she grew up…and how he managed to ruin his marriage to Millie, who stood by him tirelessly when they were broke and he was trying to become a writer. There is also the darker turn of him maybe having cancer, although this is told of course with a comic touch and flare. The book ends with a few resolutions of sorts, but to me it lacked being a page turner that I did not want to end. To be honest, although I quite enjoyed it, I’d had enough of it near the end and was trying to read it as quick possible so I could duly read something else very soon. The endless quotes from Joyce and Yeats is an original story telling device, but rather than enhancing my enjoyment of the book they rather just got in the way. Yes, this is a very readable comic book and the first I’ve read of a ‘male mid-life crisis’ perspective  so to speak, so this made for a refreshing change. However, to conclude I did not find it a brilliant read and nor did I find it brilliantly funny either. 3/5

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FORGIVE ME FATHER FOR I HAVE SINNED…..I LOVE ‘THIS WICKED WORLD’ ‘THIS WICKED WORLD’ by Richard Lange – A Review.

Posted on January 15, 2014 by SCARFMAN

THIS WICKED WORLD by Richard Lange – A Review.

Two months ago I had never heard of the American novelist Richard Lange. Fast forward two months and two novels later, and he is fast becoming one of my most favourite authors of our current time. I am self-proclaimed MASSIVE perfectionist, have O.C.D tendencies and so I employ a vast research operation when trying to decide which books I shall order next to read. Not sure how I stumbled on Lange’s current novel Angel Baby(see my 2013 book review blog), or who I read recommending it in an article…but one day I need to try and track this person down to thank them. From loving Angel Baby, it thus prompted me to order and read This Wicked World. Yet again here the reader is witness to great characterization,  masterful prose and a gripping, pulsating, crime thriller storyline.

The novel revolves around the mysterious and somewhat disturbing death at the beginning, of a Mexican immigrant called Oscar Rosales. The fact Oscar is detailed to have infected dog bites all over his body highlights the further intrigue that is about to follow. Our hero of the book, Jimmy Boone(ex Marine and Bodyguard to the stars) is enlisted by a Bar Security Guard friend to look into the nature of this death, after his Uncle pays them for any information they can get about what happened to him. After nothing much is found Robo(the Bar Security man) quickly loses interest. However, in order to achieve redemption for past sins he committed and feels guilty of, Jimmy Boone persists in trying to find out what really happened to Oscar. The story and chapters about Jimmy are set in contrast with the more darker chapters featuring Taggert, a much feared and viscous Gangland Boss who lives in remote desert country. He has his trusty killer lieutenants Spiller and T.K, and a feisty girlfriend in Olivia(whom he has very dysfunctional relationship with…think Den and Angie Watts from Eastenders….but with guns ha). Taggart breeds and stages dog-fighting at his ranch, and it is this activity of dog-fighting that leads Boone to Taggert. The more Boone delves into Oscar’s past then the more he gets drawn into this very dark, dangerous world. Needless to say Boone’s new girlfriend(ex cop now teaching, also seeking redemption for something done in her past) gets caught up in the crossfire. As with Angel Baby, the story and emotional intensity slowly builds and builds, to the extent that there is this big explosion of an event(quite literally) in the concluding part….it is beautifully and very cleverly put together by Lange. We also get a happy ending which an old softie like me always craves for, so on a multitude of levels I was left feeling satisfied and happy as I finished it.

Trying to find any real weaknesses to this book is quite difficult in my opinion.  The Central characters are well rounded, not mere gun tooting stereotypes, and with particular regard to the viscous Taggert, even he is shown to a have a vulnerability to him that makes him a more believable type of character. I guess you could question the absence of a Police presence in the background to some of the events that happen, but in fairness to Lange he is aware of this by detailing how his characters are constantly aware about not leaving any corroborating evidence left behind of their crimes.  Is the final shoot-out a tad far fetched? Perhaps, but it totally had me gripped praying good would triumph over evil in the end.

Lange reveals to us a ‘Wicked World’ where lots of ‘wicked’ things happen but it is such an addictive sphere to read about.  After reading this you may feel the urgent need to dash to the Confession Box to cleanse your soul of the kind of ‘Wicked World’ you have just lay witness too.  However, this is a brilliant tale that Father will forgive you for being TOTALLY ABSORBED by. Trust me, after reading this there will be no need to ask for forgiveness. 5/5

Posted in BOOK REVIEWS, BOOKS, ENTERTAINMENT, LITERATURE, POPULAR CULTURE, READING, social media, THE ARTS, THRILLERS, twitter, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Sex, stirrups, and second rate storytelling – ‘Taking he Fall’ by A.P.McCoy – A Review.

Posted on January 3, 2014 by SCARFMAN

A review of Taking the Fall by A.P.McCoy –

As indicated by the headline, there is too much sex and not enough gripping storytelling.  I was left feeling greatly underwhelmed sadly.

So, what is the book about then and who are the protagonists? It centres on the life of a young cocky jockey called Duncan Claymore. He has just graduated from being a leading Apprentice. People think he has the skills to be a future great, but his mouth keeps getting him into trouble.

Duncan’s direct assessment of his rides leads him to often irritate and offend trainers and owners alike. To get around this problem, he ends up employing the hopeless and occasionally comical Jockey Agent, Mike Ruddy.  The plot takes the form of a revenge mission for Duncan.

His dad Charlie was once a trainer and on the cusp of greatness, when he was subjected to a set-up involving three people(a trainer, a owner and a jockey). Worried that Charlie will harm their successes, this trio conspired to have him found guilty of doping a horse. Charlie thus gets banned from training, and so his budding racing enterprise ends with Duncan believing that all this upset has accelerated the onset of his father’s dementia.

Duncan sets out on trying to make these people pay for what they did, before his father’s dementia becomes too much for him to understand it all. Added with this is whether or not Duncan will join the dark side and become complicit in helping fix races for illegal betting rings. In theory this sounds like a rather dark, gripping, compulsive thriller as noted in the overleaf. In reality, it is a relatively poorly written book and was not gripping whatsoever.

Firstly, I have an issue with the conclusion/ending. Unless McCoy tends to write a sequel, it ends with only one of the people responsible for his father’s set-up getting their comeuppance. Therefore, we do not get the much desired narrative resolution by the end. It could have least been another hundred pages long and achieved this. The minimal narrative tension that is built up towards the end is unsatisfactory dealt with, i.e. too quickly dealt with.

Secondly, the sex scenes or depiction of them rather, were way over-the-top and too explicit.  There are lots of novels where love making is sensually told, a moving experience to read about.

McCoy instead is verging on the flippant regarding sex, and how his character meaninglessly engages in it.  Duncan is obviously a womaniser, but the explicitness of the scenes do not add anything to the overall narrative, rather they just cheapen it.

Apart from having sex with the wife of a jockey who he hates, the bed hopping is more of a distraction to the main drive of the plot. At times, it felt like this endless sex was there just to fill up the word count.

There are also a few issues with the dementia that the author details Duncan’s father Charlie from having. He details how one minute Charlie is having a bad spell and does not know what is happening, to then him apologising for getting mixed up and being coherent once more. With my late Grandma’s severe dementia there were no good or bad spells which could be self checked.

On a positive note however, the actual horse racing parts were enjoyable to read. Particularly interesting was when Duncan corrected a horse in training. Up too this point the horse kept planting it’s feet at a fence and so throwing the jockey overboard.  It was interesting to read how this problem was corrected.

From the outset, the promise of a vengeful jockey not stopping til revenge had been exacted, appeared like an exciting read. However as just discussed, this revenge ends in a bit of a damp squib and was a bit of a disappointment.

Admittedly, this is a debut novel, but ultimately it did not live up to the high expectations prior to reading. If this book was runner in this year’s Grand National then I would predict that after a bright start, I could see it falling at Becher’s Brook. 2/5

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THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE OK- MY 2013 Review of some of the books I came across. A REVIEW OF – 1.’MAYA’ by Alastair Campbell. 2. ‘A CASUAL VACANCY’ by JK Rowling. 3.’THE ART OF FIELDING’ by Chad Harbach. 4. ‘THE YELLOW BIRDS’ by Kevin Powers. 5.’THE GAFFER : THE TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS OF A FOOTBALL MANAGER’ by Neil Warnock. 6. ‘JIMMY – MY STORY’ by James Anderson. 7. ‘THE CUCKOO’S CALLING’ by Robert Galbraith. 8 ‘SWEET TOOTH’ by Ian McEwan. 9. ‘THE UNLIKELY PILGRIMAGE OF HAROLD FRY’ by Rachel Joyce. 10. ‘UNEXPLODED’ by Alison MaCleod. 11. ‘GONE GIRL’ by Gillian Flynn. 12. ‘AN ENDANGERED SPECIES’ by David Gower. 13. ‘DERBY DAY’ by DJ Taylor. 14. ‘ALEX FERGUSON :MY AUTOBIOGRAPHY’ by Sir Alex Ferguson. 15. ‘KISS ME FIRST’ by Lottie Moggach. 16. ‘ANGEL BABY’ by Richard Lange.

Posted on December 31, 2013 by SCARFMAN

So I just finish this amazing book a few days ago called Angel Baby by Richard Lange, and thought to myself I need to shout out loud just how good this book is and do a review of it. Then the idea came to me, in 2014 I’m going to do a review/blog after every bookI read. First though I thought  as 2013 draws to a close, why not do a blog concerning many of the books I came across in this year.  I’ve read a few belters and want to share these with other fellow book lovers. Therefore, the title ‘THE GOOD,THE BAD AND THE OK’ came to mind and I hope you enjoy reading this review of my 2013 year in books. I’ve read a lot so this won’t be a substantial review of each book. Think of these brief reviews more of a fast food equivalent, where I’ll do the more considered, lengthy A LA CARTE stuff next time.

1) MAYA – ALASTAIR CAMPBELL

A very readable sort of thriller, which is centred around a critique of the current ‘Celebrity Obsessed Culture’ that pervades society today. Campbell does this by detailing a friendship between glamorous actress Maya and her trusted confidant, Logistics firm worker Steve Watkins.  The reader goes on a journey with them ,discovering or not if their friendship will survive the testing waters of Maya’s fame….and all that goes with it. Two characters of note is Maya’s husband Dan, who is Jeremy Kyle reincarnated(he hosts a banal talk show), and her greedy money obsessed agent, Nick Sheldon. Up to the last few chapters of reading this book I was really enjoying it, however in my opinion the ending greatly lets the book down. I’m an old softie, a romantic, I crave for happy endings, so when I did not get one, I felt really let down by Campbell and felt somewhat cheated. That being said, I know the depressing ending is served up by Campbell, because he wants to further extenuate this negative,trivial view he holds of this ‘Celebrity Obsessed Culture’ of our current times. Not a brilliant book but not awful either, I rest somewhere in the middle. 3/5

2) A CASUAL VACANCY – JK ROWLING

Within the first chapter we’re startled to read about the death of a character called Barry Fairbrother, and it is this death that motivates the proceeding story. He was a member on the Parish Council Committee of a quaint rural place called Pagford, and so his untimely death creates an unexpected vacancy which thus give rise to all manor of happenings. People we learn liked him, disliked him…..and even secretly loved him. The book from a broader perspective is much more than this though, in my opinion it’s JK Rowling’s commentary and critque about the state of modern society today. People with petty feuds, the drudgery of modern day life, the social deprivation of Working Class life. It takes a darker turn as the story proceeds, we come across drug taking, children in care, bullying and finally rape. On the whole I quite enjoyed it, I loved imagining the very rural ‘VICAR OF DIBLEY’ style setting. As the book wore on though, I became somewhat worn down by the bleakness of life that JK Rowling depicts. This reaches a climax towards the end when a very dark event happens. Therefore, with this depressing ending I felt flat as I finished reading it, her message about society in this book is a touch too bleak for me. I also did not feel any narrative suspense as I like to in books, as they reach their conclusion. Rather than it peaking it more or less just flat lines in my view. A worthwhile read and I love JK’s writing style and wonderfully rich prose, however it is not one to cheer you up on a cold grey depressing night. 3/5

3) THE ART OF FIELDING – CHAD HARBACH

Let me start of by saying, NO THIS BOOK ISN’T ABOUT CRICKET AND HOW TO THROW OR CATCH A BALL, it’s a critically acclaimed novel, a coming of age story about a guy called Henry Skrimshander who is brilliant at BASEBALL. Henry is talent spotted as this incredible ‘shortstop’ by this older guy called Mike Schwartz, the complete opposite to Henry. For example, Mike is big, strong, outgoing and a leader of men. The story follows their friendship, their passage through College and of course they’re subsequent efforts playing baseball. The story takes a dramatic twist when Henry starts being unable to throw the ball properly, like he has expertly done a million times before.  The question is, will this unfathomable throwing problem leave Henry’s big dreams of being a ALL-TIME GREAT SHORTSTOP, in tatters? I absolutely loved this book and agree with many that it too, is the best sports novel I have read thus far. You do not need to be a big fan of baseball to enjoy this book, because it is so much more than just a novel about baseball. It is a very sweet book, a very endearing book, and once you have finished reading you will feel all the better for having done so.  4/5

4) THE YELLOW BIRDS – KEVIN POWERS

After reading high praise of this debut novel, by amongst others the Man Booker award winning author Hillary Mantel, I had great expectations as I ordered it. It is by an ex-soldier who was in Iraq for two years and he attempts to illustrate experiences he encountered. I was really disappointed in this book. I thought the prose was poorly written and instead of being intensely moved, I struggled to comprehend what he was saying half of the time. I like a challenging read at times but the language was too abstract in parts in my opinion and I found the ending very weak…..when I sensed instead I was supposed to be feeling great emotion. Maybe my high hopes for it were part of the problem/s I thus had with it? I really do not get how esteemed writers love this book so much, but I accept I could be in the minority not liking it. With such a dramatic, intense subject matter I was expecting a cathartic experience reading this, similar to the one I experienced when watching the utterly compelling film Shindler’s List for the first time. Sadly I did not feel greatly moved and no profound experience was had reading THE YELLOW BIRDS. 1/5

5) THE GAFFER: THE TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS OF A FOOTBALL MANAGER – NEIL WARNOCK

Got this book to read, as had not read anything beforehand for about 2 months and wanted an ‘easy read’. Overall as sporting books go it wasn’t bad. Was not riveting either, but Warnock is opinionated and his accounts on what went on behind the scenes whilst managing QPR and Leeds were quite interesting to read. Towards the end of it I was becoming a tad bored and had had enough, but for football fans it is worth a butchers. 3/5

6)  JIMMY : MY STORY – JAMES ANDERSON(Autobiography)

I should start by saying as a cricket mad Lancastrian, I love Jimmy Anderson. That being said though, I really was not all that keen on this autobiography. I shall never read another sporting autobiography until the sportsman or woman in question has retired from playing, because this duly limits the amount of controversial stuff they say. I found some bits interesting but in the main I found it a really bland book. The only person he seems to criticize is former England Cricket Captain Michael Vaughan, and to me this seems just to stem from the fact he did not pick him some of time, he is too easy a target for me. The blandness is exemplified when he writes a lot of waffle on what it takes to be a fast bowler. He recalls how he might not be 90mph so he makes up for this by being grumpy, and a fine exponent of sledging opposing teams batsmen. Like I said, I’m a massive fan of James Anderson’s but this book was just a bit too light and unremarkable for me. I hope he brings out a later, more substantive one after he has finished playing. 1/5

7) THE CUCKOO’S CALLING – ROBERT GALBRAITH(JK ROWLING)

Although I have a few more books to list yet, I shall be decisive and claim this book as the favourite one I read in 2013. Upon reading this book, I had not read many crime detective novels so did not know what really to expect. What I can tell you is from the very opening chapter I was massively hooked, and began to look forward to when I would be reading it next. Our hero or anti-hero perhaps is the main character, former military Policeman, now Private Investigator , Cormoran Strike. He is dishevelled and lives in his tatty small office after his relationship with his girlfriend doesn’t work out. He’s this tall, big bruiser who has balls of steel and has a loveable rogue element to him. He with his trusted J.K.ROWLIsidekick(receptionist Robin) ,become a brilliant double act as they try to prove that the falling of actress Lula Landry from an upstairs balcony, was not indeed suicide as is being claimed by the Police. I love the style of JK Rowling’s writing, I love her choice of words. They at times stretch the mind without it becoming too hard too read. I love the characters she creates and after enjoying this book so much, understand why indeed she is a masterful storyteller. This is a classic whodunit that keeps you guessing right until the very last chapter. The fact I kept changing my mind throughout the book as to who I thought had done it, just illustrates how good and enjoyable a piece of work this is. My only slight criticism and it is a small one, is that a times you have to really concentrate to follow the plot…..but other than that I cannot find any faults with it. I would highly recommend reading this book and sincerely hope she writes another adventure with Cormoran Strike and Robin trying to crack a case. 5/5

8) SWEET TOOTH – IAN MCEWAN

Set mainly in the 1970s and then forwarded to the present day, this is a story about a young woman called Serena Frome(very upstanding and Middle Class) who is recruited to the Secret Services(MI5).  Eventually she is given a role of befriending a right leaning author, in order to encourage him to publish novels which will serve as a counter balance to the perceived leftish journalism and social commentary of the time….named OPERATION SWEET TOOTH. The story takes hold when her feelings and behaviour towards the author in question, Tom Haley, become more than just professional. In general, I really liked this book. I read SOLAR by Ian McEwan a few years and found the ending a real disappointment, so was a bit dubious about reading another book of his, I’m glad I did though. Serena is a strong, really likeable female character, she is ballsey yet also displays great vulnerability at times. Even though her deception and behaviour towards Tom Haley is wrong on numerous levels, I could not help but really root for her to have a happy ending. Talking of which, the ending is really good so I was left feeling really satisfied after finishing it. It is a love story/Spy thriller and I would definitely recommend it for others to read. 4/5

9) THE UNLIKELY PILGRIMAGE OF HAROLD FRY – RACHEL JOYCE

Think of what it feels like to snuggle up in your favourite cardigan, or to rest your feet in your favourite pair of slippers, and this is what you will feel like whilst reading The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry. Harold Fry one day gets delivered a letter from an old work colleague Quennie Hennessy. She informs him that she is suffering from incurable cancer and has only days to live. Rather than deliver it by post and to the astonishment of his snooty wife, Harold(a pensioner) decides to deliver the letter by hand….an 87day trek right across the country……in nothing more than a pair of tatty sailing shoes. He boldly declares, “AS LONG AS I KEEP WALKING, THEN QUENNIE WILL LIVE”. This book really pulls on the heart strings, but in a happy, life affirming way. In his journey he meets all manner of people and some of the stories he encounters are at times funny, and also at times moving. It is a book about relationships(his walk reawakens the love in his gone stale marriage), and it is a book about the human spirit. Probably more a female book than a man’s, however I enjoyed this book immensely. Definitely one to read if you have not yet 4/5.

10)  UNEXPLODED – ALISON MACLEOD

Any book that has me with tears in my eyes at the end, has to be an absolute belter then in my opinion, and so Unexploded duly did. As the novel progresses it emotionally draws you into a forbidden love story, similar to how I felt a bit towards a favourite film of mine, THE ENGLISH PATIENT. It is set in 1940s UK seaside resort of Brighton, yet there are no holidaymakers pervading this town, instead there are heavy ominous signs of World War Two present. We read about barbed wire stretched across the beach, shops being boarded up, the butcher struggling to find quality cuts of meat, and a local racecourse has been made into a makeshift prisoner of war camp. It focuses on the lives of an ordinary Middle Class family called The Beaumont’s. Geoffry Beaumont, a Bank Manger, his wife Evelyn, and their eight year old son called Phillip. The story takes shape when Geoffrey becomes Superintendent of the local Internment Camp, and due to her love of literature, Evelyn visits to read to the detainees. She begins to fall in love with a German Jew called Otto, who at first she despises. This forbidden love highlights the staleness of her current Middle Class boring marriage. Geoffrey it turns out is not the man she thought he was(infidelity,xenophobia etc).  The storytelling and detailing of Evelyn, Otto relationship is so tenderly and touchingly told.  The story ends with a dramatic resolution which as I have said, made me well up with tears I was that moved(granted I am a softie though haha). It did take a while to get going this book in my opinion and if you feel the same way whilst reading it, then please do stick it with it. I promise your patience will be rewarded in finishing a book that is full beauty, passion, and ABOVE ALL….CLASS. 5/5

11) GONE GIRL – GILLIAN FLYNN

I’ll use one word to best describe this book, BRILLIANT, BRILLIANT, and BRILLIANT. OK, technically that is three, well four words, but I hope you get my point to how I feel about this novel. When I bought this book I truly did not know what to really expect. I just knew Amazon.co.UK constantly featured it very highly on their most popular books list, and discovered internet sites were proclaiming it as the ‘IT’ book of 2013. All the celebrities were reading it apparently, oh and Reece Witherspoon had allegedly bought the film rights I  read. All this in mind as well as  numerous reviews stating it’s brilliance, I therefore knew I had to try reading it. From the moment I started reading I was completely hooked, it invites you into a murky world where you know you can not stop reading until you have found out its resolution. It centres on the marriage of two characters, Amy and Nick Dunne. Amy goes missing on the day of their 5th Wedding Anniversary and all the evidence points to Nick being responsible….potentially for her murder. The first part of the book takes the form of both characters talking to us, John describing the present day events and Amy’s is in the form of diary entries. Both talk about the same events from a different perspective. Amy gushes with her praise for Nick and their live together, whereas Nick paints a more negative picture, a picture which highlights stubborn flaws in Amy’s character. I won’t comment any further on the mesmerising plot that follows to stop me spoiling it for those who have not read it yet. Lets just say the plot has more twists than a family of four playing a game of Twister together….REALLY. Not sure I can think of anything to criticize about it so I will not try too. If you like your thrillers dark, touching on the horror, then you’ll love this novel. That said, you will still love this book if you hate horror and a Mills and Boon is more your cup of tea, GONE GIRL is that good. 5/5

12) AN ENDANGERED SPECIES – DAVID GOWER(Autobiography)

After not minding this book and finding it fairly interesting up to two thirds of the way through, I then suddenly became very bored. It was interesting the stuff about him being Captain of England, lover of wildlife, and how people perceived him wrongly as a nonchalant non-carer. Nevertheless, it seemed to run out of steam and ideas towards the end. I expected more entertaining anecdotes, more controversial things said. The stuff about Kevin Pietersen and his fellow Sky Sports Cricket Commentators towards the end, seemed a bit misplaced in my opinion. In general, for most parts it was a pleasant, informative read, it just didn’t BOWL ME OVER(pardon the cricketing pun) to any large degree. 2/5

 13) DERBY DAY – D J TAYLOR

Set in the 19th Century, this book revolves around the months leading up to the greatest flat horse race of them all, namely the English Derby at Epsom Downs. It focuses on an array of characters who are all linked by the existence of this great horse going to run in the Derby called Tiberius. The plot revolves a chancer called Mr Happerton, who is obsessed with Tiberius.  How he comes to own Tiberius and thus plan to make a fortune from him forms the plot. The fortune he plans from owning this horse means illegal practices are afoot and so it the becomes a great Victorian swindle to enjoy….especially when Happerton finally gets his comeuppance. Overall I quite enjoyed it, rather than greatly loving this book. I studied Cultural History at University and so the depiction of 1860s Britain with its contrasting wealths and downright squalor side-by-side, was really interesting to read about. The description of the glorious scene on Derby Day was also a highlight. I did however find the plot rather slow in parts and wished it would hurry up and get a move on several occasions. As a big horse racing fan, I also expected it to be more about horse racing, a Dick Francis novel this certainly is not. Not a bad book but it never at any time really drew me in, I was left feeling happy I had finished it so I could start reading something else if truth be told. 4/5.

14)  ALEX FERGUSON MY AUTOBIOGRAPHY – ALEX FERGUSON

As I Manchester United Football Club fan all my life, I duly had to get reading this as soon as it came out. Like many, I’ve grown up with Sir Alex Ferguson regularly entering my life via interviews, matches etc, and this book allowed me a chance to become even closer to him. If I am honest after finishing reading it, I was sure of the view that his first,earlier Autobiography called MANAGING MY LIFE, is a better book. There was more personal stuff about him in this first book. I can remember the tale where he described pulling over in his car on a busy road and breaking down because a close relative had recently died. Yes he touches briefly on his earlier days in this second instalment however because a lot had already been said of this in the first one, it could not be repeated again. It without doubt is really interesting to read his side of the story regarding big events concerning Manchester United post 1999 and winning the treble. He lets us know what happened with the Roy Keane and Ruud Van Nistleroy fall outs for example. Towards the end it was getting a bit too formulaic for my liking though….the Keane Chapter, the Cantona Chapter, the Beckham Chapter, the Van Nistleroy Chapter, the Ronaldo chapter. I hate to partly agree with the critics of this book who were very vocal at the time, but there should have been more about the Glazer takeover and all its fallout from the fans, and also the Rock of Gibraltar affair(even if there was a confidentiality clause by law restricting this). Overall I enjoyed this second helping from ‘The Godfather’ of football and know every other Manchester United fan will too. 3/5

15)  KISS ME FIRST – LOTTIE MOGGACH

Billed as the UK’s GONE GIRL, I thought I must then give this book a go. As a frequent social media user I have been duped by fake users, so the promise of it being about the current social media phenomena and identity theft, thus drew me in even more so. It is also a book about the ‘right to die’ and the central character Leila takes on the task to impersonate a young woman Tess, who plans to take her own life. The purpose of the impersonation is to spare the feelings of Tess’s family and friends of the despair of suddenly losing her. As time wears on and this impersonation goes deeper Leila becomes too involved, falling in love with an old sexual conquest of Tess’s, who thinks he is really talking to the real Tess. This story runs parallel to a visit Leila makes to a Spanish Commune to see if she can actually prove that Tess did die afterall.  We also read Leila mentioning the Police at the beginning, so it is clear from very early on that something sinister has happened here. Overall I thought this book was OK, BUT ONLY OK, nothing more. I thought the ending and it’s loose ends were a tad rushed. In my opinion it all ended a bit flat. It was a worthwhile read but Gone Girl, if that is what it is being compared to, is in an altogether different league to it in my opinion. A decent debut novel by the author though.3/5

16)  ANGEL BABY – RICHARD LANGE

Think Pulp Fiction meets Miami Vice meets Jackie Brown…and then you will have a good idea of what this BRILLIANT thriller of a book is all about. There is murder,sex, violence, drugs, deceit and a glorious car chase. Luz is married to the animal that is ‘El Principe’, a key player in a drug cartel, a gang boss who is viscous with a CAPITAL ‘V’.  Luz longs to regain her happier previous life where she had a daughter who she has not seen for over four years(with a different man), and so on her daughter’s fifth birthday she boldly decides to try to flee from ‘El Principe’s’ clutches and to be reunited with her daughter. This is a book about revenge and ‘El Principe’ sets out to recapture Luz and make her pay for what she has done to him. The array characters are marvellous, from Malone the guy who illegally ferries people across the Mexico US border and comes to Luz’s aid, to Jeronimo who is a man mountain doing ‘El Principe’s’ dirty work, in an attempt to keep ‘El Principe’ from murdering his wife and children as he promises he will do unless Luz is found. As you’ll have gathered I loved this book, although granted it is not perhaps one to lend to the Mother-in-law haha. The emotional tension and drama builds up in this book beautifully. I found myself willing and cheering for Luz so much, knowing a gun shot to her head could just only be a page turned away. She is such a strong, feisty female character and this is refreshing to read. Now I learn Warner Bros have bought the film right, Penelope Cruz would be ideal to play Luz. If you like the above films that I mentioned at the start then you will love this book. It is so cleverly and masterfully written too. This gets a definite recommendation from me and I look forward to now reading Lange’s previous book before this, namely THIS WICKED WORLD. 5/5

So there you are then, these are some of the books that came into my life in 2013. I wrote so much more in this blog than I’d planned to at the beginning, it just shows you how talking about books you like can be such a wonderful,enjoyable thing to do. I look forward to reading more in 2014 and see which further pieces of literature can enrich my life even more.

Posted in A CASUAL VACANCY, BOOK REVIEWS, BOOKS, COMEDY, J.K.ROWLING, LITERATURE, POPULAR CULTURE, READING, social media, THE ARTS, THRILLERS, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

TWITTER IS BECOMING THE NEW X-FACTOR, I’VE GOT A ITCHY HAND SO CAN I GET A RT?

Posted on July 16, 2013 by SCARFMAN

TWITTER IS BECOMING THE NEW X-FACTOR, I’VE GOT AN ITCHY HAND SO CAN I HAVE A RE-TWEET MR CELEBRITY????? – A BLOG ABOUT HOW I AM DROWNING IN A SEA OF SOB STORIES!!

I can remember the first time I watched The Terminator with Arnie, I was shocked and pretty scared at the violence. I can remember when I first saw Shindler’s List. When the nasty Ralph Fiennes character shoots at his starved Jewish victims, I felt this sickening horrified feeling in the pit of my stomach. I can still remember the first time I shockingly watched Pulp Fiction, when Samuel Jackson shoots people with the ease and non-nonchalance of you and me just going to buy candy at the sweet shop. The result of this constant exposure to graphic depictions of violence is that like many, I have now become DESENSITIZED to seeing ever more depictions of violence in films and television. I would not be human for such images not to have any impact on me whatsoever, but they no longer shock and deeply disturb me like they used too! With this in mind, I now turn my attention to twitter.Currently, I am drowning in a sea of sob stories on there and quite simply as with films,TV and computer games,I am becoming desensitized to them!

I’ve been on Twitter for about four to five years now and in the main I love it. You can talk to people on there who share similar interests and views with you. For example,I follow and chat to fellow Labour Party Supporters, fellow Manchester United suporters, and fellow Mixed Martial Arts/UFC fans. Regarding the latter, I am a massive fan of the UK’s Leading Mixed Martial Artist, namely a great guy called Michael Bisping from Clitheroe(a small north-west town in the UK,not far near me).  Due to the accessibility of twitter, it’s enabled me to chat to Michael, and we’ve become sort of friends via this social media platform. I’m also a joker who loves banter and it’s nice to hear off lots of people how I make them laugh with my silly, jokey tweets.  Twitter also feels a bit less showy-off than Facebook, which I must add I find quite boring in comparison to Twitter.  Nevertheless, a thing that increasingly winds me up about Twitter is how it’s becoming hijacked by SOB STORIES.  Hey, I’m not talking about people venting their frustrations about life or tweeting about being unwell, I love a good rant when I’m fed up.  I’m talking about this growing phenomena of people tweeting or rather seemingly guilt tripping so-called celebrities, to retweet a message they’ve sent them regarding somebody they know being ill, or them doing a Fun-Run say for a good cause. I’m really sorry for the sick person in question and FULL OF ADMIRATION for somebody raising awareness/money for a good cause, BUT I’VE HAD ENOUGH READING ABOUT THEM ON MY TWITTER THANK YOU. It’s becoming like X-Factor,a competition who can tweet the saddest sob story….my timeline is full of celebrities re-tweeting such messages sent to them by people on twitter. It’s like if they don’t re-tweet it then they must not have a heart, I can sympathize with this conundrum they must have.  At first I was touched and moved at reading such re-tweets, NOW I’VE WELL AND TRULY BECOME DESENSITIZED TO THEM AND HAD ENOUGH. It’s getting that widespread, I’m thinking of  asking Jonathan Ross soon to re-tweet how majorly traumatized I am at going bald ha ha. I jest of course, but this is how ridiculous and frustrating this side of twitter is becoming! Also, I know this sounds harsh but I do have a heart really trust me, HOW THE F DOES ‘TRENDING ON TWITTER’, MAKE A CHILD WITH A TERMINAL ILLNESS FEEL BETTER FOR CRYING OUT LOUD….I DONT GET IT?

I also strongly suspect sad people are abusing this side of Twitter, by making stories about ill health up in the sad hope that this convinces the celebrity in question to re-tweet it, out of amongst all the other pleads they get. As I write this blog I do feel a tad heartless, however I’m sure there are other people out there who feel the same way as I do about this. I’ve been really ill in my life through the years and what helped me was communicating with other sufferers, sharing experiences….NOT SEEKING A RE-TWEET FROM SOMEBODY FAMOUS ON TWITTER!!!! I’M CURRENTLY DROWNING IN A SEA OF SOB STORIES AND SOON I’M GOING TO BE SENDING FOR THE TWITTER LIFEGUARDS TO HELP SAVE ME!!!!

Posted in COMEDY, EMOTION, ENTERTAINMENT, ITV1, POPULAR CULTURE, RANT, REALITY TV, social media, TELEVISION, THE ARTS, TV, TV REVIEW, twitter, UK TV, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

RING GIRLS DON’T TITILLATE ME, THEY INFURIATE ME!!!!

Posted on June 23, 2013 by SCARFMAN

A blog about how Ring Girls belong to a bygone sexist era and I thus question the sexism still pervading boxing and mixed martial arts!

So, I turn on my facebook this morning and see a photo from some MMA website of a lady called Rhona Rousey, with only her fighting fists covering her breasts and some handy camera work keeping her modesty. I am not going to lie, as they wanted, I was slightly turned on because Rhonda is a very attractive young woman, but my overriding emotion was one of utter dismay.  I looked at the image and shook my head in utter disappointment at Rhonda Rousey for agreeing to do such a photo.  I did so because Rhonda is currently big news in the USA, namely because she is the first newly crowned female champion of the the biggest mixed martial arts organisation at the moment called The UFC(Ultimate Fighting Championship).  At a time when female boxing and mixed martial arts are finally starting to get taken seriously by media and people alike, doing such ‘sexy photos’ can do nothing but potentially harm and undermine their cause.  This then made me start thinking of another issue I have with boxing and MMA, namely the phenomena of bloody silly RING GIRLS.  For the last five to six years I have been frequently moaning and tweeting how it is about time they no longer existed.

Ring Girls and such photos like the Rhonda Rousey one I described really annoy me because they implicitly imply that all men are nothing more, than carnivorous sex starved hungry creatures, that think about nothing else but sex twenty-four seven. A lot of mainstream advertising similarity transmits such connotations still and as an educated thirty something man,I want to explicitly greatly reject this!

About two months ago I went on to facebook and saw a scantily clad photo of the UFC no 1 Ring Girl, Arianny Celeste. I cannot remember exactly what I wrote below the photo but it was along the lines of , I watch fights to marvel at talented fighters, not to get titillated at such Ring Girls. I then popped on again a few hours later and some immature kid/adolescent had written me some homophobic abuse at me, saying was I that word that rhymes with maggot??? As I have friends that are gay I was so angry at this churlish remark by this uneducated numpty. I do not communicate with such prejudiced people but if I had I’d have gone, “NO IDIOT, I’M A HETROSEXUAL MAN WITH A BRAIN…WHO WON’T GO ALONG ANYMORE WITH THIS SEXIST ASSUMPTION ABOUT STRAIGHT MEN” EG I dont think about sex all of the time.  I suppose I can not blame the Ring Girls themselves because they are just trying to make a decent living like everybody else. I guess my main bone of contention should be with the companies and promoters that employ them. I watch UFC events and when the cameras focus on the Ring Girs being all cutesy and flirty with the camera, I JUST CRINGE…..I’m not that sad to get off on that thank you very much. You’re telling me men who order these Pay-Per-Views, wouldn’t anymore if these women didn’t exist….I hardly think so? Therefore, it is time for this sexist,archaic element of combat sports to no longer exist!

Please do not get me wrong, boxing and MMA have come along way with sexism and female representation through the years.  For example, the last Olympics had female boxing in it for the first time which was a great success. Irish boxer Katie Taylor is a sporting icon within Ireland and after winning a Gold Medal with Team GB, the immensely likeable Nicola Adams has become somewhat of a household name within Britain. Although still in its infancy, the UFC now thankfully has female fighters on it’s roster. It is also a welcome sight to see a female referee officiating mens fights in the UFC, namely Kim Winslow.  Yes of course there needs to be more female fighters,judges and referees etc, but positively changes are starting to happen in this respect.

I have to question therefore why in the background of the changing positive representations of women in boxing and MMA, the presence of sexist Ring Girls still pervade these two industries? In an ever changing world where sexism is no longer tolerated thank goodness, I do not understand why Ring Girls are? I was so disappointed a few years with the UFC when they constantly promoted one of their Ring Girls(Arianny Celeste) being in the latest PLAYBOY magazine. Again, I’m not against PLAYBOY per se but what I was against was with it’s close association with the no 1 mixed martial arts brand. How does this help the sport grow and become mainstream…..the simple answer is that it it doesn’t! Perhaps I am missing something but I am unable to comprehend how seeing a Ring Girl during the fights enhances your enjoyment of them? There are so many competing sports out there competing for mainstream media coverage, surely the connotations of girls walking around the ring or cage with hardly any clothes on can only harm this? Or OK, if you continue to persist with this phenomena, then where are the Ring Boys for the ever increasing numbers of female heterosexual boxing and MMA spectators? Either way I do not watch sport for cheap titillation and it is about time more men like me with a brain, said out loud they were no longer willing to be patronised like this. I love boxing and MMA because I watch on in awe at these greatly skilled modern day Gladiators competing for glory and fulfillment .WHEREAS LOOKING AT RING GIRLS PRANCE AROUND THE RING OR OCTAGON WITH THEIR FAKE SMILES AND FAKE BOOBS, THEY DON’T TITILLATE ME, THEY JUST INFURIATE ME!!!!!

Posted in BOXING, EMOTION, ENTERTAINMENT, MIXED MARTIAL ARTS, POPULAR CULTURE, RANT, social media, SPORT, TELEVISION, THE ARTS, TV, TV REVIEW, UFC, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

“HOORAY FOR HAROLD LLOYD” A Tribute to my late Father!

Posted on June 16, 2013 by SCARFMAN

“HOORAY FOR HAROLD LLOYD” – A tribute to my late Father on Father’s Day, and a message of solidarity to others missing their Dads today too!

For my first blog I wanted to write about something very dear and personal to me. What better way to start I thought than to pay tribute to my late Father on Father’s Day, namely the late, great Harold Lloyd!

So there I was a few weeks ago watching Coronation Street with my Mum oblivious to when Father’s Day was,when in the ad break a damn advert came on for some shop, kindly reminding us that Father’s Day was not too far away. With not having a Father anymore,my initial reaction upon seeing this advert was not one of great upset(been there done that), rather I let out a little sigh in annoyed frustration.  Since my Dad died fifteen years ago, Fathers Day is thus now a day that no longer holds any real significance to me.  No, I am incorrect saying that, it does hold significance to me but I pretend it is not happening…it is easier to cope with that way. I therefore felt compelled to do a blog about Father’s Day because underneath the now mass commercialisation of this day, there are millions of people out there like me who are especially missing their Dad today, and in my opinion this voice never seems to get heard.  I wanted to strongly declare immense empathy with such sons and daughters who are missing their Fathers today, and pay a little tribute to my Dad in my own unique special way!

The headline “HOORAY FOR HAROLD LLOYD”, is a line taken from the theme tune of the TV show, starring the late American Silent Movie actor Harold Lloyd. It is so apt because there are so many similarities which can be drawn between my late Dad and his same named Hollywood counterpart. My Dad would light up a room because he had this incredible charisma about him. As a kid, I can still remember racing home from school on a Tuesday and coming in and putting BBC 2 on at 5pm, to proudly watch this incredibly funny silent man from years ago, who had the same name as my Dad. Charlie Chaplin did not stand a chance in our house. Chaplin did not seem to possess the same kind of humanity, vulnerability, and decency on screen as Harold Lloyd did. My Dad like him had a vulnerability about him, my Dad too had a strong decency about him and like his Hollywood counterpart, within seconds of seeing him you knew he was one of lives good guys. These are character traits I like to think my Dad has passed down to me.

The first few years after my Father passed away it was so painful even just to mention his name.  He died aged sixty-six and there was this great sense of injustice that he had been taken away from my Mother,sister and I, far too early. However, as the years passed such raw emotions began to fade, to the extent now where we love to regularly reminisce about him.  I like it because talking about him often helps keeps his memory alive.  A lovely comment which melts my heart and often gets said by family members and friends, is how much they think I look like my late Dad.  I have his famous thick eyebrows which he was known for ha ha.  My Dad had this amazing sense of humour. He did not forcibly make an annoying effort to be funny like some amateur comedians do argh, he just genuinely was a funny person. A constant joker who lit up a room with this amazing happy-go-lucky demeanor. This instantly made lots of people like him and want to be in his company.  Without wanting to sound somewhat boastful, people often remark how I too have a similar brilliant sense of humour. This makes me proud because I put this largely down to coming from my Dad. I sometimes think I joke around a lot to hide certain insecurities I have. This accusation certainly could also have been leveled at my Father because he certainly lacked self belief at times. To me however, the motives of my sense of humour are immaterial, I am just happy to be such a larger-than-life character like my Dad was!

What else do I have to thank my Dad for, apart from my wonderful good looks and amazing personality ha  ha ha…..oh yes, my massive passion for sports. As soon as I was out of the womb, Dad had me playing both cricket and football in the back garden, at the SAME TIME ha ha ha!  Sadly for him though I betrayed all the male Lloyd’s by being the first one to choose supporting Manchester United over Manchester City.  I can still remember him taking me to Old Trafford(United’s ground) as a wee nipper and when the opposing team scored he spontaneously started clapping and shouting out loud “well played”, I did not know where to look!! He behaved like this not due to some jealous dislike for United, but because he was an old fashioned gentlemen.  He wanted to show his objective appreciation for fair good play. Him and Mum have given me such morals which have made me the person I am today, thank you Dad!

My Dad was also a very senstive, emotional, big softie type, and I am so pleased I am like this too. We would often tease my Dad how on his birthday, he would read the words in his birthday cards and then duly be moved to tears by them.  Although I have never been moved to tears after reading a birthday card, I am unashamedly very open with showing my feelings and emotions. My Dad wore his heart on his sleeve and I without a shadow doubt do this too.  Whether I am like this through nature or nurture I do not care, I am just really happy to be like this!

The purpose of this blog was not to re-write history and proclaim my Dad to be some kind of Saint that he was not.  Like all of us my Dad had flaws to his character. In fact as I grew up, Dad and I would often clash and argue a lot over silly inconsequential, meaningless things. I think we clashed because we were so much alike in many ways and today I am proud to be so like my great Father.

I started this blog quoting a line from the Harold Lloyd TV Show theme tune. I want to end this blog by sharing with you the entire lyrics of this theme tune. They are so applicable to my late Dad. As I say them out loud now I know he is looking down from heaven smiling down at me, the entire song goes ,

“Hooray for Harold Lloyd, Hooray for Harold Lloyd, He’s got style, A pair of glasses and a smile”.

THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART FOR BEING MY DAD ON FATHER’S DAY DAD!

Posted in ANXIETY, COMEDY, COMPLIMENT, CRICKET, death, DEPRESSION, EMOTION, FAMILY, FATHER'S DAY TRIBUTE, grief, HAROLD LLOYD, HEALTH, mens health, POPULAR CULTURE, SPORT, TELEVISION, THE ARTS, TRIBUTE, TRUE STORIES, TV, UK TV, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment