This time tomorrow I will know the results of a leg scan I recently had……..AND I AM ABSOLUTELY BRICKING IT. It feels like the rest of my life and how it is going to pan out all rests on how this hospital appointment goes tomorrow morning.  I need it to go well, I need them to tell me they can make me better, I need my life back!

It all started a few years ago when I saw an Osteopath for help concerning rib, back and pelvic pains that I had. I am a fighter I should note and in time these issues should get a lot better.  She insisted I got more up-to-date MRI scans of my lower back and pelvis. I have a grade one Spondylolisthesis in my lumbar spine with some nerve compression.  I had the scans and noticed that my ankles seemed a bit swollen the day after. I thought that was strange and then remembered how my lower legs were a bit puffy in the summer before. At that time my family reassured me it must just be to do with the warm weather we had been having and I concurred with them.

My died of heart trouble and one of his symptoms before he died was his legs swelling up. Therefore, with this in mind I then sought reassurances from my GP about my now puffy lower legs .  I had blood tests that signified my heart was in good shape so that calmed me down somewhat.  I wondered what was causing my legs to swell up though. Two different GPs told me that they thought it was probably a drainage issue to do with my lower back and pelvic issues…but nothing was done about it.

Last summer was horrendous. My lower legs swelled up more and more and then whilst trying to get help about them I got a bad case of ruddy cellulitis on them(nasty skin infection that burns).  I ended up in hospital with the cellulitis where a Senior Consultant thought my leg swelling was suspected lymphoedema.

I then spent the next three months feeling utterly despondent about life. There I was putting up with my type one diabetes forever and trying to get help with my bad back, pelvic pain and OCD issues, and now I had to contemplate having lymphoedema for the rest of my days. There is no cure for lymphoedema I got told but it can be managed….ooooooh whoopee I thought(yes I’m being sarcastic).

I had a lymphogram scan to indicate how bad my lymphodema was but then got the shock of my life when they told me I did not not have this condition after all.  The lymph glands in your legs are fine they said, “YOU DO NOT HAVE LYMPHOEDEMA”.  I walked out of the hospital that day almost dumbstruck at this news. I was told I would have a duplex leg scan done next and then they would see me back in clinic.

I had this scan done just over four weeks ago. The radiologist had to really dig the scanning probe/head hard into my skin to get a reading, so hoping this was a good sign. I mean, I hope this meant she found what the issue is with my legs. I need them to tell me tomorrow that they know what is wrong with my lower limbs and that they can help me. I will find it very hard to feel optimistic about life if they are not able to provide me with some answers.

Looking back now, I have been feeling overly acidic for years.  This has included me having this kind of muscle cramping sensation all over my body many times. I have suffered with skin fungal issues.  It really stings when I go too pee. I have been feeling lifeless with little energy for ages. Christ,  five years ago I can remember going to my doctors about this issue worrying myself silly that I might have M.E. My inflamed back,ribs and pelvis seem the most irritated they have been for ages. I am now convinced this is all to do with the fluid in my body not draining properly…hence the fluid build up I now see in my lower legs.

This leg business is holding everything else up.  I am hopeful if my body is no longer as acidic as it currently is, then I shall be able to take anti-inflammatory drugs once again for my ache and pains. Once on these then I will be able to have vigorous physio done again. If I am less acidic then I might be able to take medication that I badly need of my OCD.  Once the legs improve then I can start to rebuild my life I hope, be the human being I used to like being.

I am nervous beyond belief about this appointment tomorrow morning because the stakes are soooooooo high.  I am letting life pass me by at the moment and it is through no fault of my own.  I need the doctor to say he can help me…….I NEED HIM TO SAY HE CAN HELP SAVE MY LIFE!