I just wanted to give you an update about how my mental health is right now.

I started having my CBT assessment three weeks ago and I am really pleased to say how well it is going so far.  I really like this new psychologist and so I think that is half the battle.  I say this because I have had some therapists in the past that I have not been so keen on, e.g. one scared the living daylights out of me.

The assessment so far has consisted of the psychologist getting to know me better and all about my mental health issues.  After three sessions we have now reached the point when treatment is about to start.  This scares me greatly because in some form it will involve CBT, which thus means exposure therapy.

We now have to decide which treatment model is the best one for me.  For example, do I have straight forward CBT or do I have this but slightly less in number, within a broader framework that will address the underlying issues more? It is going to be collaborative decision between us and so I need to think long and hard about this.  At the moment I’m edging towards choosing the latter option.

On the OCD front even without therapy starting yet, I am trying to fight things a lot more.  I am wearing footwear more than once after being outside in them, which is a massive thing for me.  For example, the boots I wore yesterday to therapy were the same ones that I wore three weeks ago in Manchester City centre.  I wore them in Manchester going through stains galore yet I’ve worn them twice since, so this a huge thing for me.

I am not having as many decontamination showers as I was, which means I am getting a lot more sleep.   I am generally being a calmer person which is therefore helping me cope a lot better on a day-to-day basis with things.  I think this is the meds working, they’ve definitely taken the edge off my anxiety.

That’s it then, the therapy is going to get harder very soon.  I am petrified of the road ahead because I have such a long way to go yet, but if I want my life back then I have to face my demons head on.  The therapy is going well but the hard work…..IS JUST ABOUT TO START!!